


No Longer Alone

by DiligentLemming



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Baby, Betrayal, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Children, F/M, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Future Fic, Gen, M/M, Pregnancy, Reunions, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-21 14:52:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 80,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiligentLemming/pseuds/DiligentLemming
Summary: Spoilers for The Last Jedi. Rating has now changed to M.When Ben offered the galaxy to Rey, he never thought she would say no to him. But what if she'd said no because she'd had a better offer for him to consider? They run, leaving everything behind and creating a new life for themselves, until they learn that running isn't so easy when the galaxy needs you to return to the fight...'The galaxy would never understand them, the power they wielded, even his own family had abandoned him to it’s mercy. But she would not. No matter his actions or the extent to which her hatred of him grew, she would never judge him for his abilities. He had seen inside her mind and knew how she felt for him, the compassion she had for him that mirrored his own. But how could they be together?'





	1. Offering the Galaxy

            The blue glow shot from the end of the lightsaber, spearing the guard’s helmet. He dropped to the floor, dead, as Kylo rose to his feet. His eyes never left Rey’s, anchoring him to the present as everything he had done hit him full force.

            He had spent his whole life under the influence of others. First his parents, then his uncle, the Jedi, the expectations people had of his bloodline, all while suffering that dark voice dragging against the nerves in his brain. But now, the silence was deafening, screaming through his brain that _somehow_ , something was different, something was _wrong_. He had killed Snoke. And now his master’s voice was gone, Kylo’s mind finally his own, and he had no idea what to do next.

            Rey turned from him, her eyes releasing him and allowing him to take note of his surroundings. The bodies of Snoke’s elite Praetorian guards were scattered around the room, the curtains burned away entirely to show the full extent of the massacre still occurring on the tiny transports before them. Blood stained the ground in ever-growing pools, released by those unfortunate guards who had not been killed by lightsaber, but by their own blades and spears. The grotesque, disfigured body of his former master was split in half, one hand still resting on the arm of the throne. Kylo did not regret what he had done, not for a second, but the lack of guilt did not allow him any comfort. He was a ship set adrift on a stormy sea. He no longer had a place in the galaxy, nothing to anchor him but those eyes. He needed her by his side.

            The galaxy would never understand them, the power they wielded, even his own family had abandoned him to it’s mercy. But she would not, she never would. No matter his actions, no matter the extent to which her hatred of him grew, she would never judge him for his abilities. He had seen inside her mind and knew how she felt for him, the compassion she had for him that mirrored his own for her. But how could they be together? There was a line that divided them, a question of morality, and it seemed that neither would ever be willing to give even an inch to the other. She may have seen the light that still burned within him, but she was blind to how much that light relied on the darkness. Instead she seemed determined to drive out the darkness, to mould him into another Jedi, as she perceived herself to be. He knew that he would never survive such a transformation.  

            And yet he’d seen their future, it was a vision he would forever have burned into his mind. It had been of the two of them together, almost childlike in it’s simplicity. He could not tell you where they had been in his vision, at what point in the future it was, any real details other than that they had been together. He had felt their bond, alive and burning like a fire in their minds, always together no matter how far apart they were. He hadn’t killed Snoke for her, the pull and influence his master had had over his mind had been too strong to be destroyed by a mere scavenger. But for this trust and belonging he had felt in their joint future? For the hope that such a future might come to pass? He would see the entire galaxy in flames to ensure that it did.

            ‘The fleet,’ she called, ‘order them to stop firing. There’s still time to save the fleet’. Her words barely registered. There must be something, anything that he could say to get her to remain with him.

            ‘Ben?’ He would be her future, no one else needed her like he did.

            ‘It’s time for old things to die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the rebels, let it all die.’ He turned to watch her reactions, stepping closer and closer to her. It was all he could offer her and yet it was everything, he would give her the galaxy, the planets, the moons, the stars. Now that Snoke was dead it was all his to give, he was the most powerful man in the galaxy and it was all in his power to give.

            ‘Rey’, his hand, reaching out for her as though reaching out to tempt a wild animal, ‘I want you to join me’.

‘We can rule together, bring a new order to the galaxy.’ He would bring the galaxy to heel. People would bow at their feet and they would become untouchable. And together, they would have the power to destroy everything that had come before, to wash away their past lives and their past sins and begin anew, away from the cruel legacies of their parents. Yet, somehow, seeing the look forming on her face as he spoke, she seemed almost… he could barely place the emotion. Was it sadness? Anger? Disappointment? He was offering her the chance to erase everything, to rule the galaxy by his side, why would she not take it from him?

            ‘Don’t do this Ben, please don’t go this way.’ He could feel his emotions roiling under the surface, monsters fighting against their restraints and begging to be released. He could almost hear Snoke’s deep, resonating voice again, whispering in his ear. _She would resist you? A scavenger! You offer her the galaxy because you are weak. You offer her your supplication because you are weak. You accept her refusals because you are WEAK!_ His brow furrowed as he tried to block out the voice ringing inside his own head. She was still trying to convince herself of her allegiance to the light, she would never accept him, his darkness, until she had let go of what she had been taught.

            ‘No, no, you’re still holding on. Let go!’ He knew what it was that she truly couldn’t let go of. It wasn’t the general, her traitorous friends or the resistance that she was clinging to so fiercely, but the vaguest memories she had of her parents. He had felt it within her, the resolve to be ‘good’ in the hopes that this would earn her the return of her parents. It was the ideology of a child, an ideology he himself had adhered to once, long ago, and one that she needed to be set free from. It was the greatest gift he could give to her, even more so than the death of his master. He would free her from the shadows of her parents, as he had been, and the hope that they would ever return for her. He would show her how similar they were to one another.

            ‘Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known?’

            He slowly began to walk towards her, if he was to speak the truth of their connection aloud then no one else in the galaxy would hear it.

            ‘You’ve just hidden it away.’ This secret, this thing that bound them together would be theirs and no one else’s. The world may only see her as a scavenger, in truth she WAS only a scavenger, but to him she was so much more than that. She was a kindred spirit, someone else who had known the betrayal of a family and he wanted no others to know of this truth that they shared. It was something that belonged to them alone.

            ’You know the truth, say it’ He moved closer, towering over her as if trying to physically press the answers out of her.

            ‘Say it’ He whispered.

            ‘They were nobody’

            ‘They were filthy junk traders, who sold you off for drinking money.’ Her breath caught at the revelations he was laying before her. It was breaking her heart to finally admit what she’d always known, yet all he could feel was gratitude to the drunkards who had brought her into the world. In leaving her behind on Jakku they had made her his equal. They had bestowed upon her the same pain that he had been forced to bear for so many years and planted within her a darkness that would never leave her.

            ‘They’re dead, in a pauper’s grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story.’ Finally, her sobs began in earnest. Tears created streaked lines that ran through the dirt and sweat covering her face. Yes, it would hurt her now, but in time she would become stronger for it. _They_ would become stronger for it as she left everything behind. She would come to realise that she would have a place in the story, from then on. Her connection to him would _make_ her a part of the story.

            ’You come from nothing, you’re nothing.’ A flash of red cut sharply through the pain he could feel coming from her side of the bond. She was angry at him and her eyes narrowed slightly even as her tears continued to fall.

            ‘But not to me.’ And that was what had confused him most. He was a prince, heir to the most powerful bloodline in the galaxy. He shared the blood of Sith lords and Jedi masters, of Queens and so-called ‘war heroes’. She was a filthy Jakku scavenger. She shared the blood of drunkards, people who would pawn away their child in the hopes it would earn them just a little more sustenance for their addictions. Who knew what other secrets lay in her family history; peasants, addicts, criminals, the worst that society had to offer no doubt. And yet to him she could never be _nothing._

            ‘Join me’ Kylo’s hand reached out to her, just as hers had done for him only hours before. Everything in him was screaming out to just _take_ her, but he knew that would not work this time. Before Starkiller, before the bond, before she had touched him and caused his visions… maybe. Now though? She was no longer afraid of him; her powers had manifested themselves into a raw strength he had only ever felt within himself. Her eyes flicked to his hand and it subconsciously opened further to her. He was so desperate for her to stay, he would say anything to make her stay.

            ‘Please’

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

            She’d seen their future, it had been solid and clear in her head. They’d been together, their bond washing away the loneliness that had been the only legacy left to her by her parents. And even though she had begun to build a new family around herself, it would never be the same. They would never understand the thin line she walked, the balance that held the galaxy together and the force that flowed through her, becoming just another facet of her own being. Even Leia, a woman with the potential of the Skywalker blood flowing through her veins, refused to understand. When her own son had manifested these abilities, she had chosen to send him away rather than deal with the growing darkness within him. Leia and Han had been the cause of so many betrayals, just as her own parents had been, and Rey felt the echoes of Ben’s lingering pain through their force bond. In so many ways, they were the same.

            Rey reached for Kylo’s hand, her own small fingers encompassing his much larger ones. She held onto his wrist, her eyes leaving his to look down at what she was doing. Moving to the hem of his glove, peeling it slowly down his hand until it was bared to her. She would not speak to Kylo, masked and covered and disguised.

            ‘Ben,’ her eyes flew back to his, ‘come with me’.

            ‘No’ His hand suddenly gripped hers, causing her to flinch at the unexpected burst of pain, and she could sense his feelings rushing out through their bond; the rage and anger and betrayal that Kylo… no, that Ben felt. He had sacrificed everything for their shared vision of the future. His master lay dead on the floor behind them. Yet what had she given? Dragging him back to the resistance, back to the general, she would have everything, and he would have only her to cling to. They would never accept him back and he would never accept their skewed moralities, their belief that only theirs was the correct path.

            ‘You’re right, Ben,’ his grip on her hand loosened slightly, ‘I’d never ask you to go to the resistance. You don’t belong there; but you don’t belong here either.’ She gently pulled on his open hand, pulling him a step closer to her and looking up into his face. His eyes, where only a moment before they had been alight with rage, were suddenly blown wide open. He looked so vulnerable in that moment. He was no longer in charge of their negotiations, was no longer the one offering her everything. Instead it was Rey, a mere scavenger, who held all the power.

            ‘We’ll run, as far as we need to go to be safe from them all. If we can’t live in each other’s worlds, then we’ll create our own. Just please, order them to stop firing.’ This was it, this was what she would give up to be with him. Her burgeoning family; Finn and Leia and Chewie, even BB-8, she would leave them all behind her but at least she would know that they were safe.

            ‘Let it all go, Ben. Snoke, Luke, Leia, Han, the First Order, all of it.’ There was a pause, ‘Please’.

            For a moment, everything was still. She could feel her pulse racing loudly in her ears as he considered her offer. He turned slightly away from her, extending his free hand to pull the Skywalker lightsaber towards him. Every nerve ending in her body was screaming out, a residual scavenger instinct of never allowing herself to be unarmed, especially in the presence of someone so dangerous and unstable. But she tamped her feelings down. She would trust him.

            He rolled the lightsaber over and over in his palm, it was instantly familiar and practically singing in his hand. Only a short time before he would have destroyed her to get his hands on his family lightsaber. But he now knew that it wasn’t his anymore. He had his own lightsaber, cracked and unstable and roughly made, but undeniably his. He handed his grandfather’s lightsaber over to its rightful inheritor, studying her face closely as he did so and seeing it relax at feeling the familiar weight in her palm. He almost roughly grabbed her chin, still not used to human contact that didn’t involve violence and humiliation, and tilted her face upwards to meet his gaze.

            ‘Together?’ He whispered. She knew what he was asking of her, he was trusting her with everything he was. All the parts of Kylo and Ben that made up the man before her- the darkness, and the light. He was trusting her in the same way he had trusted his parents, and then his Jedi master, and then Snoke. She had the power to destroy him and he was asking her instead for her help to rebuild, to fix the parts of himself he had thought gone forever. She smiled at him warmly.

            ‘We’ll never have to be alone again’

            He dragged her to him, lips crashing together. It took her a moment to overcome her shock, but she quickly responded, throwing her hand and the lightsaber it clutched around his neck. Rey knew exactly what this was, there was no romance behind this, no lust momentarily clouding his mind. This was need, a pure need to be with someone who would understand his torment and to no longer feel alone in the galaxy. Kylo had been right when he’d peered into her mind on Starkiller.

_You’ve been so lonely;_ every moment on Jakku had been so terrifyingly lonely, but not anymore, she refused to be alone anymore.

_Don’t be afraid, I feel it too;_ words said in a different time with different meaning, yet now she understood them perfectly.

His own free hand curved around the back of her head, grasping her to him as his thumb moved fiercely and erratically against her cheek and jaw. Their lips were clumsy against each other, their grips too tight and their pulses running too fast. But in that moment, neither cared. _This_ was their future. _Together_.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Thanks for reading this far. This is the first fic I've written since I was about 14 (so like 10 years!), so any and all constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I've already started writing a second chapter, so if people like chapter 1 and want more, I'll post it :D Thanks again!


	2. The Return of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 years later. Rey and Ben are finally at peace and living their lives together, but they can only stay hidden for so long before the past comes to find them.

            The small homestead sat quiet and alone at the bottom of a green and rocky hill. It was a primitive thing, made of the same grey stone that covered the entire area and seeming to almost disappear into the craggy landscape. A thin trail of smoke wound up from its single chimney stack, visible only for a few moments before it merged seamlessly into the grey skies above. Looking down at the humble, timeworn house she knew that she had finally found a home for herself, one that meant so much more to her than some old piece of imperial garbage left to rot in the Jakku sun. The three of them hadn’t been there long, not even a year, but to her this place was everything.

\-------------------------------------------------

            Ben was sat on top of the hill, right on the very edge. When they’d first arrived on the planet, a choice that had been made by desperate fugitives whose first child was ready to be born, she had often found him sat just like this. Her heart would always jump in fear seeing him so close to the edge. But as they’d grown closer and the arguments had come less often and less fiercely, she’d learned that this tiny slice of danger was his way of centring himself. He had too much energy to just… sit. He needed something to focus on and it was unfortunate for her that it just happened to be meditating while sitting mere inches from a cliff edge.

            She moved as close to him as she was willing to with her young child in her arms and stood, admiring the view. From this hill she could see for miles around. The ocean stretched away from the bottom of the cliff, it’s waves crashing brutally against the rocks. The sky was grey and filled with clouds, but on good days it was as blue as the sky on Jakku, only without the accompanying deadly heat. There were few inhabitants here, mostly other humans who knew to keep their business to themselves, and those who did lived far enough away that it had been months since they’d last seen anyone. This planet may not have been their first choice for a home, but they had become happy here.

            Ben slowly opened his eyes and stood, moving away slightly from the edge. He found it hard enough to concentrate on his meditation as it was, but it always became even more so when his family’s intense force signatures were nearby. Not that he would ever complain, he found more serenity with them than he ever could through meditation. It was only when his senses began to prickle, as they’d been doing for several days now, that he found he needed the solace of the cliffside. It usually meant that something was out of balance in his small world.

            He moved to stand in front of her, and she automatically handed the sleepy child over into his arms. The young boy barely stirred, his eyes drifting closed as he snuggled into his father’s strong chest. They knew that despite having only recently woken up, it would still be a while before the child was ready to interact with the world. Rey stroked her hand across her son’s back. He was so like his father, from his looks right down to his personality. It worried Rey at times, when she felt flashes of the darkness hovering at the edges of her family.

            ‘How much easier is this whole parenting thing when he’s sleeping?’ She joked. A small smile spread across Ben’s face, once a rarity but becoming increasingly common as the years went by.

            ‘Maybe he just has too much of his mother in him. I’m sure if he’d been born a full-blooded Solo then he’d cause no trouble at all.’ He replied. He had such a morbid sense of humour, but it still made Rey grin straight back at him.

            ‘And how are you this morning?’ She asked, knowing that something was bothering him if he was meditating here.

            It had always been difficult for him to express his emotions and feelings in words, they were too violent and erratic. Instead, he opened his side of the bond to her, allowing her to feel that sense of unease that had once again been bothering him since he had woken up.

            ‘What do you think it could be?’ she asked quietly, trying not to wake her son.

            ‘I don’t know, hopefully nothing. It doesn’t feel bad exactly, just…’ His voice trailed off as he tried to find the words.

            ‘Wrong?’

            ‘Yes.’ He pulled her closer with one hand on her waist, his lips meeting hers. It was a gentle kiss, with their son caught comfortably between their bodies, as his lips moved languorously over hers. After a moment, their lips parted, their breathing slightly heavier and their foreheads pressed together. He loved this woman. Their relationship had not always been easy, they had fought hard in the beginning and lightsabers had been lit on more than one occasion. But although they did not always agree, or even agree often, he never doubted the depth to which she knew him, understood him. She understood him even when he could barely understand himself.

            ‘We should still be prepared though. Is the ship ready?’ He asked.

            ‘It should be, but we can check on it when we get back.’ They had been either running or hiding for so long now that they had learned to always have an escape route mapped out.

            ‘Good, I won’t let what happened last time happen again, Rey. I swear it.’

            ‘I know, Ben. I…’ Both their gazes suddenly shot skywards. Something was coming close. Both their lightsabers were back at the house, and with a quick glance to one another they bolted down the gravel path that cut up the mountain. Ben was careful not to jostle the boy too much, but he still gave a small whimper as the bumpy ride woke him. They had almost made it to the house when suddenly Ben stopped, halted by a force he recognised only too well. He knew exactly who it was that was in the ship above them and he wouldn’t need his lightsaber to face them. He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning back his head and allowing their presence to wash over him. A sharp pain bolted through his chest, they had been found by the one person that he could not fight and who he had hoped never to see again.

            ‘We won’t be needing our sabers.’ He said.

            ‘I know.’ Clearly, she had felt it too. He knew that he shouldn’t be surprised given how close she’d said they had felt in their few moments together at the resistance base. Guilt hovered at the edge of his conscience as he remembered the event that had forever connected the two women in grief, but he pushed it violently away. It would serve no purpose here to allow himself to be weakened by any residual guilt he still felt, especially when he could also feel his anger rising. It was a much more powerful emotion to have in his arsenal.

            He had no weapon in his hand, yet his stance was defensive. He silently handed the boy over to his mother.

            ‘Take him inside, Rey’

            ‘Ben,’

            ‘I won’t argue with you. Inside, now’ She stepped forward, taking his arm and squeezing it gently. A promise that she would listen to him for now, but if she sensed anything happening she would be at his side.

            It took a few moments of tense waiting before the shuttle broke through the thick cloud cover, but when it did they could see that in calling it a ‘shuttle’ they were being charitable. It was an odd blend of parts, taken from whatever ships they could be scavenged from at last minute. He could sense the sole person on board as clearly as if they were stood right in front of him.

            It finally touched down on the surface of the planet, clouds of steam billowing from it. The mighty hull door opened, and the ramp extended, the steam momentarily obscuring the identity of the person within and projecting an eerie silhouette into the air. The figure began walking towards him. It had been more than fifteen years since he’d last seen her and, in his opinion, it was still not long enough to prepare him for seeing her again. Leia.

            She was shorter than he remembered, her stature and walking cane creating a much less imposing figure than she’d been in his youth. Her clothes were still regal, as was her bearing, but it was clear to all that as hard as she may fight it, her age was beginning to catch up with her. But there was a reason that Ben had sensed her arrival for so long and from so far away. Her presence in the force still shined like a beacon of light, almost blinding to someone as inclined to the dark as he was. She stopped just before him.

            ‘General.’ He spoke through gritted teeth.

            ‘Ben.' Leia took in the sight of her now grown up son. The last time she’d seen him, he’d been an awkward teenager, still growing into himself and his powers. Now here he was. She knew that he’d done terrible things since he’d left her all those years ago, but when she looked at him and saw Han’s eyes staring back at her, it was as if, for a second, all the hurt and pain he’d caused her just disappeared.

            ‘How did you find us?’ Clearly his sentimentality didn’t extend as far as hers. She remained silent for a moment, her face stony. This was the only reason he had allowed to land on the planet and speak to him, he needed to know who it was that had given away their location to their enemies. Rey would ask him to show them mercy, but he knew that when he found them he would take his lightsaber and cut them down where they stood. Years away from the dark influence of Snoke had calmed him somewhat, but he would never be a merciful man.

            ‘We need you and Rey…’ She tried to steer the conversation back to where she wanted it to go.

            ‘How?’

            ‘Ben, I need you to listen, please. I wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t urgent’ Ben began pressing his mind against the defences of Leia’s. He knew she could feel him; she may not have trained as a Jedi, but he had never questioned how much raw potential the General held. Rey would no doubt have something to say later about such a casual use of his darker powers, she never had understood the occasional necessity of entering a weaker mind. But this was no weaker mind. The General’s walls held firm against his pushing and Ben quickly realised that he would get no answers this way, at least not without inflicting pain. Rey would see that as unnecessary.

            He straightened as his mind pulled back, ‘You are not welcome here, General. Get back in your ship and leave.’

            ‘The resistance needs you, Ben. I need you’ His anger flew through him and he was powerless to stop it, coursing through every nerve ending in his body. He could feel the fire spreading through his mind, taking over his senses. His mouth twisted into a sneer, his eyebrows moving low over his eyes as they narrowed in her direction. His body crouched almost imperceptibly, a natural defence mechanism. Rey flinched as the wildness of his anger cut through the bond, taking a long breath to calm her own emotions before placing the sleeping child in his crib and running outside to its father.

            ‘You _need_ me?’ He hissed, ‘That’s what you have to say to me? That you _need_ me!’ Leia wouldn’t back down, she had come here barely expecting her son to even allow her to land, so that he would see her and _speak_ to her ignited hope within her chest.

            But his anger would not be stopped, ‘And where were you when I needed you? I spent years with that monster’s voice in my head, twisting my thoughts. From the moment I was born he was there. And you did nothing!’

            Rey had reached his side, grasping tightly onto his arm to hold him back as he had inched closer and closer to his mother, ‘Ben, please… stop.’

            Leia had barely moved at the force of his anger, only her face betrayed her emotions as she tried to reason with her son. They needed him and Rey too much for her to leave without even the hope that they would help, ‘We thought we were doing the right thing for you, Ben, I swear. I felt Snoke even before you were born, and I knew he would try to manipulate you, to take you away from us. I thought I could shield you from Snoke’s influence, but I didn’t realise how strong he was.’

            ‘You knew about him?’

            ‘I was trying to keep things from your father, I didn’t think he would understand and he would only have made it harder for you. It was when I realised that I couldn’t protect you myself that I sent you to Luke. It was a last resort, Ben. I never wanted you to leave!’

            He scoffed at her, his face still twisted into a sneer, ‘You’re still lying to yourself. You never sent me away for my own good, you were never trying to protect me. You only wanted to protect Han _from_ me. You sent me away so that he would never have to deal with me or my abilities. You had a choice between him and me, and you chose him’

            ‘No, I… I didn’t.’

            Ben suddenly straightened. Rey could feel his intentions flowing through the bond, as if his actions and his words were becoming her own. She had become adept at locking him out of her mind when she needed to, but when his anger took over like this she was powerless to his strength. His words were aimed to inflict maximum damage on his mother, he wanted her to feel as guilty for her failures as he felt about his own,

            ‘Luke never told you what happened that night, did he? The night I destroyed his temple?’

            ‘What?’

            ‘He feared me, just as you feared me. He didn’t want to protect me either, he wanted to protect his glorious legacy _from_ me. You two were always so similar, always playing the heroes. And then one night I woke up to find him standing over me. His face…’ Ben’s breath caught for a second. The face of his uncle haunted him even now, ‘he had his lightsaber in his hand, ready to kill me as I slept’

            ‘He wouldn’t…’

            ‘He did’ Ben hissed.

            Leia looked to Rey, disbelief painted on her face, ‘Rey?’

            She didn’t want to be the one to say it, but she owed Ben this, ‘I’m sorry Leia, it’s true. Luke told me himself’ Rey knew there was more to the story than either of them were saying, like how badly Luke had come to regret his momentary lapse in judgement. But when it came to this chapter of the Skywalker Saga, Rey was unwilling to be kind to her master’s memory. He had almost killed Ben- his student, his own nephew! He had created Kylo Ren, and Rey would never forgive him that.

            ‘Ben, I… I’m sorry. But it’s different now, we…’

            A strong cry called out from the house behind them. They all turned, and Rey raced toward the noise. Ben heard his mother’s breath catch behind him. She had felt his son, his distress at his father’s uncontrollable anger, then waking to find his parents nowhere in sight echoing through the force. Ben was not surprised. In truth, he was more shocked that she had not noticed him earlier. His force signature was so strong, and he burned so brightly, that Ben was certain that under less stressful circumstances she’d have felt his power before she had even landed.

            ‘Is that…? Is that your son?’

            The moments stretched between them. He had never wanted her to find out about this. Regardless of how this conversation played out now he knew they would need to leave this planet. Rey would be devastated, this had been their son’s first home, but they couldn’t stay if the resistance knew that there was now a third powerful force user here.

            Leia leaned around her son to look behind him. Rey was walking towards them slowly, comforting the child in her arms. He was still sniffling a little, a tiny hand rubbing at his eyes, hair rumpled from sleep and his head resting against his mother’s shoulder. She stopped beside Ben, a small smile gracing her face. It may not have been under the most ideal of circumstances, but for just a few moments this legendary family that she had both inherited and helped to extend, was together.

            ‘Rey, go back inside.’ But of course, she wouldn’t listen to him.

            Ben could see the tears in Leia’s eyes that were threatening to spill over. She reached a hand out as if to touch the child. He subconsciously moved his body so that he had almost placed himself completely between the General and his family. Her hand stopped mid-air, her fingers closing tightly into her palm. It was a petty use of his powers, but he didn’t want her touching his son. He would not allow her the chance to hurt him too. He let her go and her hand dropped morosely to her side.

            She took a breath, steeling herself before looking up, directly into the onyx eyes of her son, ‘You cannot keep running forever, Ben. The ways of the force may be a mystery to someone untrained like me, but you knew it would never just leave you in peace. You’re both too powerful for that. And now your son…’ her eyes flicked back to her grandson’s dark hair, his dark eyes, so like his father, ‘It was not difficult to find you both, and if I could do it then so could others. I came here for your help. If you do not wish to help for my sake, I understand. But if you will not fight for me then do it for your son. Once they learn of him, they will come for him.’

            Ben leaned forward, directly into the General’s face. His own still painted with his fury and mistrust. She could feel it radiating from in waves, rippling out through the force. For a moment the darkness that surrounded her was almost suffocating.

‘You need to leave… _now_ ’, he hissed, before turning on his heel and storming back to the house. Trying to manipulate him using his son was exactly the kind of tactic he would expect from the legendary resistance General. She was NOT his mother, and she had no right to demand his help.

            Leia turned instead to the young woman left behind, ‘Rey, please. Speak to him’

            ‘I can try, but you know he holds no love for the resistance.’

            ‘You mean he holds no love for me.’ She countered, her smile forced and pained, ‘You must know how close the war is to your doorstep. This place is isolated, but you cannot have been completely closed off from the rest of the galaxy. I know you’ve been listening to the rumours, you wouldn’t just shut yourself away; it would leave you too vulnerable. You aren’t like that, either of you.’

            ‘What can I say, scavenger instincts’, Rey responded, smiling lightly, ‘I know what’s coming. But I also know that three years ago, Ben chose to leave it all behind, and I know how much re-joining this war could cost him. I can try to convince him to help you, but I will not make this choice for him.’

            ‘Then would you consider re-joining the resistance?’ Maybe if she had been asked that before, even just a year ago, her answer might have been different, but now the resistance, the war, was just a far-off memory for her.

            ‘Not without him. I’m sorry, Leia, but I have others to think of now’

            ‘I understand.’ Leia’s hand reached out once again to her grandson. With no one around this time to stay her hand, she began stroking through his thick, black hair where it curled slightly above his ear. His eyes were trained on her, mistrustful around this stranger yet feeling comforted that her presence in the force felt so similar to that of his father. He looked just like Ben, it was startling to see the resemblance. It made her heart twinge with regret. She had lost her own child, sending him away when she should have kept him close to her. Maybe he had been right, maybe she had done so to make things easier for Han… or maybe she had done so in the vain hope of protecting him... Or maybe her reasoning just no longer mattered. She had lost him and with him she had lost this family he had created for himself, before she could even have the chance to know them.

            ‘You know, he looks just like Ben did at this age. He’s wonderful, Rey, truly. He’ll grow to be a strong one, I can tell.’ Rey knew that the General was being kind, but she still felt a pang of fear at the thought of her _strong_ son one day being forced into their war.

            She could also feel the General’s emotions in the air, mixing with her own; they were filled with pain, and longing, but more than anything else they were filled with hope. Rey had never known Leia to not feel like hope,

            ‘His name’s Anakin.’ Leia’s eyes widened at Rey’s revelation. After so many years fighting and surviving it took a great deal to truly shock her, but hearing that name after so long certainly did. Rey smiled slightly as she remembered having almost the exact same reaction when Ben had originally suggested the name,

_They were sitting in the cockpit of their small craft, the lights of hyperspace painting the edges of their cabin a pale blue. Rey tried to massage away a headache that had been forming at her temples; the constant running was beginning to stretch her nerves thin. ‘How about Anakin?’, he said quietly, distracted by the readings on the screen in front of him._

_‘Anakin? As in Darth Vader, Anakin?’ Her eyes widened, and her eyebrows shot upwards towards her hairline. Had he really just suggested naming their child after a Sith Lord?_

_‘He was considered a Republic hero before he turned, you know. I thought you might like that.’ His sarcastic tone told her exactly what he thought of her belief in democracy and the ideals of the Republic._

_‘For someone so desperate to forget the past, Ben, you seem strangely determined to remember certain parts of it.’_

            She could admit now that that had been a cheap shot, but their earlier relationship had been turbulent even at the best of times. Their morals and ideals were so different and there had certainly been moments when she regretted reaching out to him, rather than leaving him behind in Snoke’s ravaged throne room. But not anymore; her home, her family, her entire existence revolved around him and Anakin.

            ‘An interesting choice. I hope it’s a name he can live up to.’

            ‘So do I’ Rey could see the pain in Leia’s eyes just as clearly as she had felt it. When they were on the resistance base she had been kind to her, even though her husband had just been killed and Rey knew that she was partly to blame. She also knew that it was Leia who had authorised Finn and Han to go to Starkiller to rescue her, despite the obvious risks the mission had entailed. She wouldn’t be able to face herself if she let her leave here with nothing. She gripped the older woman’s hand tightly in her own, ‘I will try Leia.’

            Leia nodded in return, ‘Thank you, for helping him. I know… it couldn’t have been easy to stay with him after everything that happened’

            ‘It wasn’t’, Rey admitted, ‘But I don’t think we could have avoided this destiny, even if we’d wanted to’. Leia nodded solemnly, before throwing her arms around them both. It was not the sort of dignified action that Rey had come to expect from the older woman, but rather the actions of a woman who had spent too long alone and without her family.

            ‘Take care of him for me, Rey’, she whispered, ‘He needs you.’ She let go of Rey slowly, trying to make the embrace last as long as she could. She did not know when she would next get the chance to be with her family or if they would even be safe anymore. She had felt echoes through the force, something dark was coming towards them, and it scared Leia to know that they could all once again be directly in the line of fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Thanks to everyone who read the first chapter, I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Originally this was just supposed to be a one-shot, but now I’m kind of curious to see how far I can take it. So, if you’re enjoying and want me to keep going, just let me know :D Thanks again!


	3. FB: Ahch-To

(To make things easier, from now on, chapter titles that start with FB are flashbacks starting from the point that Ben and Rey are in the throne room).

3 years earlier…

            There was a blinding white light and a searing pain that flooded her entire body as they were knocked far across the throne room. Rey’s head collided hard with the floor and her vision swam for a moment. Her whole body shook as a secondary explosion threw heat and chunks of debris in her direction. Her powers responded automatically to slow down the slices of metal, giving her just enough time to roll her battered body out of the way. The dust and wreckage that was thrown up from the ground caused her to cough and wretch violently. Her head was pounding, and as her vision finally came into focus she spotted Ben a few feet away, sprawled out on his side on the ground. She dragged herself up onto her knees and crawled to his side.

            He didn’t stir at her presence, ‘Ben, BEN!’ She shook his shoulder, but he wouldn’t move. Rey couldn’t even feel him across their bond anymore. The room was collapsing around them and she threw herself over his head, protecting him from a shower of sparks raining down from the ceiling. She flipped him onto his back, pressing her head down onto his chest, and felt his heart beating gently against her ear. He was still alive. She grabbed his face between her palms, staring straight at him.

            ‘Ben, please. We have to leave now’ She leaned her forehead against his and a tear slid down her face, ‘Please.’ There was no movement beneath her and she no longer had the option to wait for him to return to himself. The room, possibly even the entire ship, was disintegrating around them.

            She dragged herself up from the floor, stumbling a little as her head continued to swim, and grabbed onto one of his arms. She gave him a harsh tug, trying to get his body across the floor and into Snoke’s escape pod, but he didn’t move an inch. His body was so much larger than her own. She tried again, harder, wrenching her arms and adding to the multiple aches and pains she was already feeling. His body jerked with her efforts, but beyond that he still wouldn’t move.

            As she stilled, a dark thought flashed through her mind. Maybe she could just leave him here and escape by herself? It seemed unlikely that he would make it out of this place without her help, not in the state he was in. She could finally be free of him; free of his darkness and free of his constant hovering presence at the edges of her thoughts…

            No. Rey would never be able to escape him. She needed him like she needed air to breath. Even if she could force herself to run from him in this moment, somehow, she knew that his memory and his absence from her life would haunt her until the day she died.

            Rey closed her eyes for just a moment, the room continuing to collapse around her as a tremendous steel beam destroyed, then broke through, the ground nearby. She gathered the force around herself, focusing on the still man lying before her. His body slowly raised into the air, legs bent at an odd angle and fingers trailing against the filthy ground. It wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do. She moved him as quickly as she could across the room to the shuttle, using her own body draped across his to shield him from the worst of the chaos around them.

            She got him to the ship and placed him as carefully as she could into the co-pilots chair, before throwing herself into the seat next to him. Her fingers reached up into her hairline, feeling the blood gathered there coating her fingertips. Her head felt as though it were made of lead, heavy and sluggish and fighting against any movement she made. But she couldn’t worry about that now. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts elicited a yelp from her, but at least the pain helped to alleviate her lethargy. They needed to get out of here.

            She began tapping away at the panel in front of her, initiating the launch procedure. There was a hiss from the outside hydraulic arms as the shuttle detached itself from the Supremacy and ejected into space. As it travelled further away from the ship, Rey was finally given a moment to see the devastation that surrounded them.

            Downed ships littered the entire area, white streaks still visible where something big had cut through them like a knife. Explosions continued to burst forth from the ships as the onboard fuel supplies caught fire and the electronic systems failed to control the damage. She knew that if she were to look closely enough, she would see the multitude of bodies that had certainly been sucked into the vacuum of space. Whatever had happened here had been a massacre.

            She leant back in her chair for a moment, the sight of the carnage giving her a moment of pause. This was awful, but at least the resistance was safe. Rey knew that their numbers had been decimated in the time since she’d left them, she’d seen with her own eyes the First Order fleet firing on them after all. But with this destruction they would now have a break, a chance to rebuild and secure themselves before the next wave of attacks inevitably happened. It would be some time before either the Resistance or the First Order were ready to continue their war, and this was of some consolation to the fleeing Rey.

            Suddenly she felt something stroke against the edge of her conscience. It was feather light, only a whisper of another mind.

            ‘Rey’ He groaned.

            ‘Ben, shhh. I’m here.’ He tried to lift himself up in his seat but could only let out another groan as he dropped straight back down. His arm was now left to trail down awkwardly at his side, almost certainly dislocated, and he couldn’t have been himself at all if he hadn’t noticed it before. She took a moment to take in the full extent of his injuries. His clothes were covered in scorch marks, from both the Praetorian blades and the burning debris that had fallen on them. His lip was split, blood running down to his chin and she was pretty sure his nose was broken. She ran her hands down his chest to check further, and the wince he gave as she passed his ribs told her that at least one had been damaged badly.

            She brushed his hair away from his sweaty forehead. He felt too hot. ‘Rest.’

            ‘Where are we heading?’ He had never been one to relinquish control easily. But for the first time, she found herself glad for his weakened state. There was only one place she could think of that, for the time being, would be safe for her and the infamous Kylo Ren, and she certainly didn’t want him to find out where it was they were going.

            ‘Somewhere safe.’ She replied. He was too tired to question her further, he would just have to trust her.

            ‘Are you okay?’ His voice was beginning to slur, but his concern for her still caused a lump to form in her throat.

            ‘I’m fine, now rest.’ She fuelled her final words with a small push of her force powers, and in his state, he was powerless to resist her. His head slumped down onto his chest.

            She programmed the coordinates for Ahch-to into the ships computer. She would need to keep Ben unconscious during the duration of their stay there, he wouldn’t forgive her if he found out she’d taken him to his uncle. But she couldn’t think of any other options. Once the First Order found the body, them missing and Snoke’s shuttle gone, it wouldn’t take them long to figure out what had happened to both Ben and his former master. They were fugitives now, but for some reason it didn’t scare her as much as it should have.

            The computer finished its calculations and she watched the shuttle cockpit turn a pale blue as it made the jump to hyperspace. She risked another glance over at her partner, seeing the slight movements of his chest as he breathed. It surprised her how glad she was of this, as her eyelids slowly fell closed and she dropped further down into her seat.

* * *

 

            ‘Rey. Rey, come on.’ She felt someone tugging on her, then her body was lifted into a pair of strong arms. Her head hung backwards, and the scent of the ocean filled her nostrils. She opened her bleary eyes and saw the upside-down waves of a calm ocean nearby.

            ‘What are you even doing back here?’ The voice mumbled to itself, ‘Of all the stupid, reckless…’ It trailed off as sleep claimed her once again.

* * *

 

            The next time she woke the world was much darker, something that her throbbing head was very grateful for. She knew her surroundings immediately, they were in Luke’s old hut on Ahch-to. A fire crackled merrily nearby, warming the small space, as Luke pottered around. It was crowded with two of them there, and the low bed she lay on had been shoved haphazardly against the sloping walls. She lifted her hand gingerly to her head, the blood had caked into her hair, but at least she was no longer bleeding freely. Luke sensed her waking up, turning to look her in the eye. His face gave away nothing of his emotions and his walls were firmly up around his mind.

            ‘Where is he?’ She asked guiltily, her voice quiet.

            ‘He’s safe. I fixed him up as best I could. It’s been a few years and I’m a bit rusty, but he’ll live. Not so sure how happy I am for that, but there it is. What were you thinking, Rey, bringing him here?’ Rey felt like a child being scolded by a parent. Didn’t he understand that she hadn’t exactly had a galaxy of options open to her when she’d chosen to return to Ahch-to?

            ‘I don’t know, I just… I needed somewhere safe for us and this was the first place that came to mind.’ Luke’s shoulders sagged, what little fight left in him expelled in a single long breath.

            ‘Well, he’s unconscious for now and I’ll try to keep him like that for as long as I can. You both need to be away from here before he wakes up though.’ Rey nodded. She knew that no matter how deeply Luke had put Ben under, he was still a uniquely powerful force user. His own powers would inevitably break through the fog covering his mind, and she needed to have him back on the ship and far away by then.

            ‘I know.’

            Luke made his way around the fire, coming to sit next to Rey on the small pallet, ‘Why are you both here, Rey?’

            How could she even begin to explain everything that had happened to her master. She rubbed at her forehead in frustration. From that first time seeing Ben in her hut, to the force vision they’d both seen, to the sudden and inexplicable need she felt inside her to see him safe; she could barely wrap her own mind around her life now, let alone share it with someone else.

            ‘It’s called a force bond.’ He said. Rey was speechless; how did he know about this?

            ‘When you leave here, get Ben to help you with your defences. It’s like watching a holovid, the way you’re shouting your thoughts into my head.’ He said with a small smile. Her mouth closed with a snap.

            ‘Then how…’

            He held up a hand to silence her, ‘They’re rare, in all the texts I’ve come across I’ve only ever heard of a handful. Usually they require a lot more… I don’t know,’ His hand twirled in the air as he tried to find the right word, ‘…interaction, than you two have had. If you’re looking for answers as to how it happened, I can’t help you. You’ve only known each other a handful of weeks, as far as I know this should be impossible.’

            ‘I already know how it happened.’ She said angrily, ‘It was Snoke. He told us that he was the one who created the bond.’

            He put his hand gently on her shoulder, instantly soothing her rising anger. ‘Then he lied, Rey,’ Luke said quietly, tilting his head to look at her face more closely, ‘he’s incredibly powerful but he could never manipulate a force bond like that. They’re a product of trust and understanding. They need the light to be created and to survive.’

            ‘You mean, he was powerful. He’s just dead now.’ She knew that a true Jedi shouldn’t gain as much pleasure as she did at the memory of Snoke’s body split in two, but for now she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She was glad he was dead. He had underestimated both her and Ben, and now he lay dead before his throne, his eyes left wide in surprise at the betrayal of his most faithful apprentice.

            Luke’s face was frozen in shock, his thoughts running too quickly. She may have had great potential inside of her, but she had only been training for a number of weeks. How had she managed to bring down someone as ancient and powerful as Snoke?

            ‘Ben killed him.’ She said suddenly, interrupting him, ‘I was completely at his mercy, I couldn’t move and Snoke had my lightsaber. Then he ordered Ben to kill me, and he could have done. It would have been so easy for him. But he chose to kill Snoke and save me.’ She stared at Luke accusatorily, ‘I told you there was still light in him.’

            He took a moment to absorb everything he’d just heard, ‘Rey, one good deed doesn’t erase a history of darkness.’

            ‘Just as one mistake doesn’t darken a lifetime of light.’ She said to him pointedly. She knew that his misgivings about Ben stemmed from his own failings, and her words hit him harder than he would have liked. The air became awkward and heavy around them, and Rey decided to move on to something a little less morbid.

            ‘So, what exactly should I expect from this bond? Am I suddenly going to fall madly in love with him or something?’ A wry smile came to her lips.

            ‘Nothing quite so drastic I’m afraid.’ Luke replied, ‘From what I’ve read it’s like… like the other person becomes a piece of you. Your feelings become clearer to one another. It’ll be easier for him to see into your mind, not that that isn’t already pretty easy.’ She nudged his body with her own in fake annoyance and they both laughed, though hers was tinged with nerves. This bond sounded terrifying to someone who had always been alone as she had, being so vulnerable with another person was not in her nature.

            'Does it mean we’ll be stuck together? I’m not entirely certain that’s something either of us could survive. I mean, if you count every conversation we’ve had so far, most have ended in either shouting, an argument or in serious injuries.’

            ‘Search your feelings, Rey. What do they tell you?’ She huffed slightly. It never was easy with Master Skywalker.

            She closed her eyes, centring her feelings on the man still unconscious in the nearby hut. She couldn’t get anywhere near his mind, Luke had put him into a deep sleep to give them at least a day or two to recuperate. But just knowing that he was nearby, that he was safe with her and his uncle spread a rare warmth through her heart. It was the same addictive feeling she’d felt in her vision of the two of them together. She would be unwilling to ever give up such a feeling.

            Her eyes remained closed as she began trying to explain how she felt, ‘I think of him and it feels… right? As though I’ve been missing something and now I have it, and it’s up to me to keep it safe.’

            ‘Rey, you don’t need to say it aloud, just continue like this and I’ll sense your feelings.’

            She thought of Ben further, this time the darker things he’d done. The fear she’d felt back on Takodana when he’d held her unmoving in his grasp. Seeing his masked face in the interrogation room, knowing that he was about to take from her her secrets, her insecurities, her memories. Seeing him kill… no, she didn’t want to dwell on that. It made her grit her teeth, her own darkness rising and screaming at her that such a monster deserved to have been left behind to die on the Supremacy. But her heart twinged at this thought, it needed him by her side. She knew that she couldn’t survive without him, he was as much a part of her now as she was of him. It would a lot of take her time though to reconcile her head and heart, if she ever could.

            ‘You’re torn, Rey.’

            ‘I’m scared. How will we ever be able to find peace together? We hate each other.’

            ‘You need to learn to understand one another.’

            ‘Understand?’ She scoffed, ‘I thought you hated him for what he’s done? He murdered your students, his own father. He burned down your temple and stopped the Jedi from returning, and you want me to what… sympathise with him?’

            He took a moment to collect his thoughts, and his voice was quiet and contemplative when he began to speak, ‘I may not condone what he’s done, but I’ve had many years to come to understand his reasoning, as warped as it’s been. And you wouldn’t have gone to try and turn him if you weren’t beginning to feel the same way.’

            He was right. She knew that their time in each other’s heads had created something between them, something that had nothing to do with their bond. When he’d kissed her in the throne room, she hadn’t wanted to push him away, she’d wanted to pull him closer. He’d been grabbing onto her tightly, unwilling to let go for even a second, and she’d felt the hard lines of him pressing closely against her much softer curves. Their bond had opened up and she’d felt the need emanating from him, coming at her in strong waves. An awkward cough brought her unexpectedly from her thoughts. Judging from the small blush on Luke’s face, she’d been projecting again, and quite loudly. He chose to change the subject to something a little less embarrassing for the girl than his nephew.

            ‘So, what are your plans for when you leave here?’ He asked.

            ‘I don’t know. The plan was to run, I didn’t really think of anything beyond that.’ She admitted. Luke sighed and got up from his seat next to her. Clearly, they were going to need some help if the two of them wanted to remain hidden permanently. He pulled out a small memory chip from a nearby desk drawer and handed it to her.

            ‘Here.’

            She turned it over in her hands, there were no discerning marks on the chip, ‘What is it?’

            ‘A map. There’s a system marked on there, deep in the outer rim. Leia, Han and I stumbled across it during a mission years ago that… well, let’s just say that Han was in charge of that particular mission.’

            ‘So things didn’t go according to plan?’

            ‘Exactly.’ Luke chuckled.

            ‘We were stranded on a planet there for a while, Nocoma I think it was, and we got to know the area pretty well. When we eventually got the ship working again and made it back to the rebellion, Leia made it her mission to clear the planet from the few navigational charts it was actually mapped on. Said she might need it one day for another rebel base.’ That sounded just like the legendary General Rey had heard stories of in her childhood; driven, determined, and always prepared for anything. At least she could be sure that if Leia had had any hand in preparing the planet then it would have the basics necessary to make it inhabitable, if not comfortable.

            ‘So only you and Leia know about it then?’

            ‘Yes, so don’t go there unless you don’t mind her finding you. I’m only giving it to you because I can’t imagine you staying out of the fight for long.’ No, he was wrong. She’d promised Ben that they would, and she would try everything to keep her word. But it wouldn’t hurt to keep the chip, just in case.

            ‘Thank you, Luke. I’ll keep it safe.’

            ‘Good. Good.’ His eyes trailed off, his mind clearly distracted by something as it often was, and he turned to leave the hut.

            ‘Luke?’ She had one more question that had been burning in her mind since she’d woken up. He stopped but didn’t turn back to her, ‘What’s it like, seeing him again?’

            Rey could see his shoulders shift slightly as he took in a long draw of air. She felt her throat tightening, the tears beginning to form behind her eyes as her master’s strong feelings leeched into her mind.

            ‘I’ve missed him.’ He could only give her this. He had failed Ben, even before that night, by always keeping him at a distance from both himself and the other students. Now it was too late. He didn’t deserve her pity, and Ben didn’t deserve to be weighed down by Luke’s lingering feelings of guilt. He carried on out of the hut, leaving her alone to her thoughts. It took her only a few heartbeats before she was up on her feet and heading to Ben’s hut.

            She pushed aside the curtain at the entrance, and the heat hit her almost immediately. Luke had set the fire roaring in the small space and sweat quickly began beading on her forehead as she moved to sit beside her partner. He looked so peaceful in sleep, even with the multitude of scars and bruises that currently littered his face. The space between his eyes had lost the deep groove that was usually settled there, and his mouth was no longer downturned in anger. It was as if she were seeing only the younger Ben Solo, before Kylo Ren had taken over his life.

            His long hair was once again plastered to his forehead and curling handsomely around the edges of his face. Rey didn’t think she’d ever get over seeing something so ordinary and human on him, she couldn’t imagine him having a ‘bad hair day’. But that was what he was, just a man. An incredibly powerful man who had made terrible, disgusting choices in his life, but still just a man. A man that her life was now inextricably tied to.

            She leaned forwards, close to his ear, not wanting anyone to hear but him. Her words came out in a low, shaky voice, one that was still filled conflict and doubts, ‘I swear, Ben. I will try my best with you. I know it won’t be easy; neither of us are exactly known for our friendly personalities, but I will try. This bond makes me feel better, less alone in the galaxy. I don’t want to lose that because you’re too busy being, well, you know how you can be.’ She released a breath that brushed over his face, ‘Just… just promise me that you’ll try too.’ She collected herself for a moment, finding that calm space inside herself as Luke had taught her to do, gaining the courage to lie down by his side. If Luke could admit that he’d missed his nephew, could begin to forgive the past after everything he’d done, then she swore that she would try too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks again to everyone who’s commented on this story and given me kudos. I’m always nervous when a new chapter goes up and it makes me so happy to see that people are actually enjoying the fic. This was originally planned as just a one-shot, but now I think I’ve got most of a plot fleshed out for a full story. If you have any ideas you want to add to the mix though, go ahead and tell me!  
> So, please, please, PLEASE comment and let me know what you think :D


	4. I Can't Protect You

Present Day

            The ship’s communicator slowly came to life, and the unmistakable voice of Bazine Netal began to bleed through the static. It was overlaid with the ships onboard translation device; a tinny, robotic sound almost drowning her out when she began to speak,

            ‘What is it you want? Do you have something for me?’

            ‘Not for you, for the First Order. I have information. I know the location of Kylo Ren.’

\-----------------------------------------

            Rey tracked Leia’s ship as it disappeared behind the thick clouds, before making her way inside. Their home was small, barely large enough for the three of them, with only a main living area, bedroom and refresher. Every day it seemed to become more and more cramped, especially now that Anakin was able to crawl around it without having constant supervision.

            Ben paced the main room furiously, his eyes half crazed and a sneer spread across his face as he occasionally grabbed a random item and threw it into a nearby bag. His fists were clenched, ready to strike out.

            ‘I know what you want from me, I don’t even need to hear your thoughts to know exactly what it is you want. Your pity for those weaker than you was always one of your biggest flaws.’ He was like a wounded animal, lashing out at anything that came close. Any conversation or thought he had that touched on his early years caused this reaction and Rey had learned long ago not to take offense when he became like this.

            ‘I would hardy call it a flaw Ben.’ She placed Anakin on the rug at the edge of the room, enjoying the small, toothy grin he gave her as he realised she’d sat him amongst his toys. Then, one by one, she began removing the items from the bag her partner had begun to pack, ‘And clearly you don’t know me so well if you think I want us to just leave here and fly straight to the Resistance. We need a plan.’

            ‘The plan is that we leave tonight. Pack your things, get them on the ship.’

            She stared at him incredulously. He was tempestuous and impulsive in his decisions, but to leave their home for no reason other than the fact that Leia knew where they were? It was rash even for him. ‘And go where? This is our home.’

            ‘No, this is where we’ve lived for the past year. It’s nothing more. Our home is the three of us. If we stay here, then we might as well invite the whole Resistance here to join us.’

            ‘Wait, what? Ben, just stop for a minute.’ She grabbed his arms, stopping his relentless movement. ‘She said that the war was coming for us, that the Resistance needs us. You don’t think we should at least hear her out?’

            His face spoke as if the answer was obvious, ‘No. Why should we? She’s a Resistance General and she wants soldiers for her war. Gaining two powerful force users would be nothing more than a prize for her. Of course, she’s going to say anything she can to get us on her side.’

            ‘She’s also your mother.’

            Rey regretted her words immediately. His anger flashed through her, red hot. He hated being reminded of his family and seeing his mother had shifted his emotions far closer to the dark than she liked.

            Her eyes flickered quickly over to Anakin, he was so sensitive to both of them and she didn’t like it when he was affected by his father’s temper. Luckily, the boy seemed to be entirely distracted by the toys in front of him, with several now floating gracefully in the air.

            Ben raised one of his arms to hers, gripping it tightly, ‘No, she isn’t.’ His voice was low and menacing, one that she hadn’t heard directed towards her in a very long time. ‘She’s many things but that isn’t one of them.’

            He looked deeply into her eyes, and she could feel his mind reaching out and trying to breech her own. It was his automatic response when he felt threatened, almost as natural to him as breathing, and she wasn’t sure if he even realised he was doing it anymore. But like he’d already said, he didn’t need his powers to know what she was thinking. He knew her far too well by now. ‘This isn’t just about listening to what she has to say, is it? You agree with her, you want us to go back to the fighting.’

            She shook him off, ‘Whether I agree or not is irrelevant. I think that something’s happening out there. I told you what the traders have been saying, the First Order are growing every day. We’d be fools to think they’d just leave us alone now, especially if they hear we’ve been contacted by the Resistance.’

            ‘And whose fault is that if they do?’ His voice was rising louder with every word, his emotions and feelings of exasperation hitting her with increasing force. ‘By finding out where we are and coming here she’s put us all in danger.’

            ‘I’m sure she took precautions to make sure she wouldn’t be tracked.’ She said with a sigh, ‘She wouldn’t have lasted this long if she made rookie mistakes like that. Besides, she’s a General and the Resistance fighters love her, they wouldn’t dare betray her by tracking her ship. They aren’t like the First Order’

            ‘After everything’s that happened, you don’t think there might be one or two people there who would be willing to go through her to get to me?’ He scoffed, ‘Not one person who would be willing to martyr themselves if they thought it would make them a hero? They’ve been trying to kill me since the day I first left Luke, why the hell would they stop now?’

            His tone was patronising, only serving to make her anger flare to match his, ‘Because they might be dedicated to the cause, but they’re not stupid. They know that coming against us would be suicidal.’

            They glared at each other, both far too stubborn to admit the other may have a point in this argument. Their unwillingness to bend had been the cause of many stalemates in their relationship and it seemed this would just be another to add to the list.

            He threw up his arms in frustration, before brushing past her. ‘We’re not discussing this right now. I want us gone by nightfall, before she has the chance to bring any of her Resistance fighters here.’

            ‘She wouldn’t do that, Ben.’

            He spun to face her again, his eyes blown wide in disbelief. She’d spent five minutes with the woman and her Resistance three years ago, and yet she was acting like one of her soldiers, sworn to defend her. How could she be so naïve? ‘You have no idea what that woman’s capable of. You think she became the leader of those thieves and murderers because what… because she’s a princess? Because she’s a _peaceful diplomat_? She doesn’t care about us, either of us, we’re expendable to her. She’ll do whatever it takes to get the results she wants.’

            ‘Not to us, she wouldn’t.’ And as Ben stormed away from her, Rey could feel a small part of herself that resented Leia’s fresh involvement in their life. The same part of her that thought that maybe, she’d only been defending the General because once they began fighting, it was her default setting to just argue with whatever Ben had to say.  It had been a long time since they’d fought like this, and they’d been happy on Nocoma, just the three of them. And now here she was, fighting to get them back into the war they’d left behind just because Leia had asked her to.

\---------------------------------------

            Their ship, an old First Order cargo ship, stood stark and silhouetted against the night sky. Since ‘inheriting’ it almost a year before, Ben had spent a lot of his time working on it, both because he enjoyed it and because it helped to calm his stormy nature. The onboard trackers had been the first thing to go, as well as anything else that could link it back to the First Order. By nightfall, the few possessions they’d chosen to take with them were safely stowed onboard, and the ship lifted away from the planet’s surface.

            Rey was silent in the co-pilot’s seat, trying to keep her emotions at bay. She could barely believe that only that morning she’d woken as though it were any other day, peace being a luxury they’d fought so long to obtain. And now here she was. Yet another home she had created for herself that she was being forced to leave.

            Ben reached for her hand over the console, squeezing it tightly, ‘Maybe one day we’ll come back here.’

            They both knew his words were just a lie meant to comfort. ‘No.’ She said resolutely, ‘We won’t.’ Deep down, she knew that leaving was the logical choice, and they had benched their argument for the time being, but it didn’t make it any easier to let go of her anger towards him.

            It wasn’t long before the planet disappeared from view.

            They sat in silence, each preferring their own company to each other’s for a while, before Anakin began to fuss in his seat in the main part of the ship, his whimpers soon becoming full on wails. Ben made to move from his seat, and she put her hand out to him.

            ‘Stop, I’ll get it.’ She needed some time away from the ship controls. At least then it wouldn’t feel so much like she’d had a hand in their leaving her beloved planet.

            She walked over to him, and he began waving his fists at her, desperate for attention. She released him from his seat, holding him to her closely. His mind was open, and it only took a second to realise that something was wrong. She dug a little deeper, trying to find whatever it was that was distressing him so greatly. She found it quickly enough.

            ‘No.’ She suddenly gasped.

            The distinctive whine of tie fighter engines rang through the ship, and she saw two of them shoot past the front view screen.

            Ben’s hands grip on the controls tightened. She felt his fear, knowing that it mirrored her own entirely.

            ‘They won’t just attack us for no reason.’ Rey said, though at this point she wasn’t sure if she was talking to Ben or herself, ‘They don’t even know who we are. For all they know we’re just traders or something.’

            The fighters banked round, heading straight for the back of the ship where there was less likely to be a strong defence. They were so far out of First Order territory that it would have been nearly impossible for them to get here without a star destroyer nearby to help. And the First Order wouldn’t have sent a destroyer out into the middle of nowhere unless they had a good reason. There were no coincidences here. 

            ‘They know exactly who we are. Strap him in then get up here.’ He shouted.

            Their own small vessel was equipped with weaponry, but only the basics given to all First Order cargo ships, plus what little Ben had been able to trade for from their remote planet. The shields were slightly better, but if the star destroyers managed to reach them before they had the chance to jump to hyperspace, then they’d have no chance.

            As the first shot hit the hull, Rey fell to her knees, Anakin pressed tightly to her chest. Everything began shaking violently, as the fighters began to press their advantage, chasing and firing continuously on their small ship. Ben’s force and piloting skills would give them a small advantage, but without a strong arsenal what could they do?

            Anakin’s small hands clung desperately to her shirt, as he pressed his face tightly into the crook of her neck. The ship began dodging and weaving as Ben tried to avoid the approaching tie fighters’ shots, throwing Rey across the room. He would apologise for that later.

            ‘Get him strapped down, now!’ Ben roared from the front of the ship, fighting his own battle with the controls. She staggered to her feet and grabbed onto the nearest seat to steady herself. Anakin’s hands still had a tight grip on her, but she forced herself to ignore his cries as she removed him and forced him down into the seat. After strapping him in securely, she made her way on shaky legs to the cockpit.

            ‘Now take over.’ He said to her unexpectedly.

            ‘What?’ What the hell was he planning?

            ‘Just listen to me for once and do it!’ Rey replaced him in the pilot’s seat, as he jumped on as co-pilot. She’d never flown the ship before, and it took her a moment to acquaint herself with the layout of the controls. A moment too long though, as another shot hit them from behind.

            ‘Can you actually fly the damn thing!’ He shouted, and she automatically turned to respond, stopping herself before she could.

            He’d gone silent, his face scrunched up in concentration and sweat beading on his forehead. It was only then that Rey realised she could feel his powers flowing through her. He was using them to start pushing back at the fighters. It wasn’t enough to stop their engines, but it was certainly enough to throw off their aim as their speed and trajectory became erratic. His fingers were dancing across the control panel in front of him and a mechanical whirring began under their feet.

            ‘What’s going on?’ She asked. Even with his help, it was taking all of her skills to avoid the constant shots of the fighters.

            ‘Not now.’ He ground out, ‘When I tell you, reverse the thrusters and keep the ship steady.’

            He wanted her to just fly in a straight line? They’d be dead in seconds with the number of shots the fighters were still firing at them, hoping that with quantity they would hit something. She was putting all her faith in him, hoping that whatever crazy plan he had would actually work. ‘Okay.’ She said determinedly.

            The whirring finally came to a halt with another juddering thud. Another shot hit the ship, sending them both forward in their seats and destroying the last of his concentration.

            ‘Fuck!’ He shouted, ‘Now!’

            She slammed the thrusters into reverse, the whole ship seeming to come to a stop. The fighters carried on, flying straight past them. Their courses were straightening out now that Ben had lost his control over them, their pilots regaining their bearings. But it was too late. Lasers began rapid firing from their ship, directly into the tie fighters. Within seconds, both had exploded in a shower of sparks and metal.

            Rey slumped back into her seat, grabbing a short moment to relax. They were safe for now, but it wouldn’t be long before more arrived to check on their missing comrades. Ben jumped up from his seat, swaying slightly from the exhaustion that always came with overextending his powers.

            ‘Get us out of here.’ His voice was disturbingly absent, as were his emotions from Rey’s mind. He turned from her and stormed away to the back of the ship.

            She set them to full power, but with no course heading entered. They still hadn’t discussed where it was they were going to go now that they had abandoned their home, but she knew that that conversation would have to wait until later.

            With the chaos finally over, Rey noticed that Anakin’s cries continued to echo, and she ran to him. She brushed his hair off his face, there were a few small bruises but nothing serious. It could have been so much worse, and she let out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. She began murmuring to him, trying to calm him down. Ben was suddenly behind her, watching his son closely as she stroked soothingly over his injuries.

            Rey sensed Ben’s lightsaber even before she heard the distinctive crackle of its shattered kyber crystal, as it roared to life behind her. The red light cast an eerie glow in the tight space of the ship. His hand was gripping the handle tightly, desperate to strike out and destroy something, anything within reach. His knowledge that doing so could damage their ship irreparably and hurt both her and Anakin was barely holding him back.

            ‘Rey.’ He called out quietly to her for help. He needed her.

            She ran to him, ignoring the heat of the lightsaber now held close to her thigh, and pressed her hands to his face. She pulled him down to her, forcing their foreheads together and opening her mind to him.

            Through the bond she sent waves of her own energy, hoping in some way to calm him down. She knew that he wouldn’t hurt them, not intentionally anyway. But he had lost control before, and in these moments, she understood that it was taking everything he had to restrain his emotions.

            Rey had only heard the voices once before, at the beginning of their relationship. They wormed their way into his head and screamed at him in his darkest moments; a remnant of his time with Snoke that they both knew he’d be fighting for the rest of his life.

_‘Kill her. She will only slow you down. With her by your side, they will find you. You are weaker now, and they will kill you in her place.’_

_‘You had everything with the dark side. The power you held, it was magnificent! You should be ruling the galaxy! You are the Skywalker heir; it is your birth right. And if she will not willingly rule with you, then take her! Force her hand, you have the power.’_

            But Ben had told her, not long after Anakin had been born, that over the time they’d been together, the voices had slowly changed. They didn’t want him to hurt her anymore, or their son. Instead their anger had been turned against the rest of the galaxy, ordering him to kill anyone who would try to touch his family. It was almost a noble sentiment, but she knew that following it would undoubtedly lead him on the path to the dark side once again.

            ‘I’m here. We’re here. We’re all safe.’ She murmured quietly to him, stroking his hair with one hand.

            ‘They’ll never stop coming for us, will they? And I can’t… I can’t protect you both like this.’

            ‘Ben, you can. You do.’ He breathed deeply for a moment, taking in the sight of her before him. Even with bruises forming, her hair dishevelled and bathed in the red glow of his lightsaber, she was so beautiful. She was his light, leading him through the darkness of the galaxy and he would do anything to keep her safe.

            He suddenly pulled away from her, powering down his lightsaber and heading towards the cockpit of the ship. Despite clearly wanting to be left alone now, she followed right on his heels. He was frustratingly mercurial. There was silence for a while, Ben was deep in his own thoughts, but eventually Rey felt she had to disturb him to ask the question that had bothering her most.

            ‘They wouldn’t have shot at us if they weren’t certain that it was us on this ship. Hell, they wouldn’t even have been in the area, we’re hours away from the nearest First Order base. How did they know?’

            ‘I don’t know for sure.’ He replied pensively, ‘but I have an idea. Contact the General, we’re going to speak with her. Somewhere remote.’ He paused for a second, looking at the galaxy map that had appeared in front of them, ‘tell her we’ll meet her on Endor. If she wants our help, then she’ll get it, but I don’t want the Resistance involved, only her.’

\---------------------------

            Ben looked down at his family, cuddled together on the single bunk. Rey was curled up tight, her back pressed against the wall. It was a habit, she’d told him, that she’d developed to deal with the cold nights on Jakku and had just never grown out of. In between them lay their son, sprawled out on his back. His tiny breaths were muffled by the fist pressed into his mouth, and Ben gently pulled the hand away. It took him a moment longer than necessary to let go. Anakin’s forehead scrunched up a little at the disturbance, but within a matter of seconds Ben could feel that he’d fallen back into a deep sleep.

            He threw off the blankets and stood up, rolling his stiff shoulders that had been cramped for too long in the small bed. He was only wearing his black sleep pants and the ship felt much colder away from the warmth of his family. He wandered over to the front view screen, looking out into the darkness of space.

            Somewhere out there, there was a war raging. Both sides wanted him dead, and neither could be trusted to take care of Anakin if the unthinkable were to happen to both himself and Rey. Their son was powerful, too powerful. The little boy had been manipulating the force since before he’d been born.

            Ben could still remember the first time he’d felt the tiny fledgling mind brush up against his own, as if the child had suddenly become aware of the outside world and was desperate to explore it further. It was the same sort of power that had drawn Snoke to himself all those years before.

            He had been a fool to think that they could just run away and leave the galaxy. Life was rarely that fair, even to those like Rey who had unquestionably earned their peace and happiness.

            Ben had already made his decision. He was going to protect them, even if he had to destroy the galaxy to do so. His soul was already stained black by his past deeds, but her and Anakin were innocents. No one would take them from him, and he would give them the lives that they deserved.

            And the first step to that was contacting the Resistance…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks to everyone who commented and gave me kudos. I really appreciate it! I struggled a lot with this chapter for some reason, so it didn’t really come out how I wanted it to. But, it didn’t stop me adding a whole heaping of angst and fluff! Let me know what you think though!


	5. FB: Going Around in Circles

3 years earlier…

            A persistent flashing light woke Rey from her sleep, blinding in the darkness of the hut. Fortunately, the large, warm body she’d been resting on didn’t also respond to the bright light as she picked herself up and lifted her sleeve to see what was happening.

            The binary beacon that Leia had given her to find her way home was pulsing red, meaning that she’d sent out her own personal distress code and her friends were in danger. It was the code that was only used when things were so desperate, there seemed to be almost no hope.

            Rey’s first instinct was just to jump in a ship and fly back to the Supremacy, hoping that the Resistance hadn’t travelled so far that she’d no longer be able to sense them in the area. But she forced herself to stop and rethink.

It had taken them so many hours to reach Ahch-To before. Even if she left immediately, it was unlikely she’d reach her friends in time to help. And besides, she had other commitments now. She turned her head to look down at Ben’s face.

He was so peaceful in sleep, with all the anger and turmoil vanishing as though they’d never been there at all. If he woke here to find her gone, he’d see it as a betrayal of her promises. He wouldn’t accept her explanations, his world was too black and white to accept her own variations of grey.

            She left the hut, the cold wind of the planet hitting her hard and focusing her thoughts, and moved towards their ship. The lights lifted automatically as she entered, reacting to her presence. She removed the bracelet and attached it to the main console. With a few commands to the ship, it began transmitting Leia’s distress signal across the galaxy.

            Hopefully, with the ships modern technology and upgrades, it would be able to reach far enough for her. Hopefully, Chewie would hear their message.

\-----------------------------------------------

            It only took a day from their arrival for Rey to begin feeling the flickering of Ben’s consciousness from the other side of the bond. It was faint, his thoughts hadn’t quite returned to him yet, but she knew it wouldn’t take long for him to be fully conscious again. Clearly, they had underestimated him and how long it would take to break out of Luke’s hold.

            As childish and undeserved as it was, she felt annoyed with him for cutting her time with her master so short. They may not have always seen eye to eye, and it was true that she still blamed him many things, but Luke had spent the last twenty-four hours slowly guiding her through the basics of blocking her mind from others.

_‘Imagine a wall in your mind, let it surround your thoughts.’ He instructed her._

_‘She gave him a disbelieving look, ‘Is that it? Just a wall?’_

_Luke rolled his eyes at his young pupil in that annoying way he did whenever he thought she was being purposely obtuse._

_‘No. It’s only the beginning, the first line of your defences. Within your walls you must create a maze, hiding your most precious secrets deep inside it. Those memories with less importance become obstacles, used to trick and divert anyone who would want to delve deeper.’_

            It was still very early, but at least she now felt that she had the tools to build something with. In time, she was sure she would be able to keep Ben out completely, if she ever needed to.

            And so together, they began the task of getting him onto the ship, gently bundling him up in blankets then levitating him up the ramp, paying special care not to jostle his still healing injuries.

            ‘Rey.’ She heard Ben slowly groan out her name as they moved him, his voice sounding pained as he did so. It wouldn’t be long before he woke up.

            She settled him on the ship’s lone bunk, concerned that he still looked to be in pain despite not moving, before she headed back outside and turned to face her Jedi master, ‘We need to go. But, thank you.’

            ‘It was the least I could do for you both.’ His eyes were fond as he looked over the ship that now held his nephew. ‘You were right about him. There’s still a light there that I’d given up on ever seeing again. Let’s hope that now you have him on this path, he can stay there.’

            Luke would never understand the depth of her desire to make that happen, not for her own sake, but for the countless lives that could be lost if Ben chose the dark side again. Kylo Ren was someone she would not allow to return to the galaxy.

            ‘And what about you?’ She asked.

            Luke shrugged his shoulders tightly, ‘Ah, you know me. I’ll always be here.’

            ‘You won’t go back to the Resistance? Leia could still do with your help rebuilding.’

            Rey still remembered how excited Leia had seemed at the idea of getting her brother back. It broke her heart a little to know that she hadn’t been able to persuade him of his importance to the Resistance. He was a legend, and his legacy had inflamed the hopes of so many across the galaxy.

            ‘I still have much to atone for, my place is here. You’re so young, but one day you’ll understand.’ Her instincts told her that he was hiding something, that he wasn’t only talking about his mistakes with Ben, but it wasn’t her place to pry further. She could only leave him with these words.

            ‘Then, may the force be with you, Master Skywalker.’

            ‘And with you.’ He responded with a smile. It had been too long since he’d last heard those words, and he let the meaning of them wash over him as he watched her walking away. There was light once more in the galaxy, and his only hope was that the balance wouldn’t shift once more if they learned of what he and his sister had done to ensure this.

            She boarded the ship and prepared it for take-off, harder to do without a co-pilot beside her. They lifted away, and she saw her master holding up his mechanical hand to her in farewell.

\---------------------------------------

            ‘No!’ Ben jerked upright in his bunk, flinching from the pain of his cracked ribs before tossing his head around wildly, looking for some unseen threat. It took him a moment to regain his bearings. She looked over her shoulder at him, and once he saw her there he relaxed a little, scrubbing his hand roughly down his face.

            ‘I’m here. How are you feeling?’ She asked.

            His voice was still rough from sleep and disuse, ‘Like hell. What happened?’

            ‘That depends on what you last remember…’ She replied sheepishly. She could feel his mind try to enter her own, but the tightening of what little defences she had alerted him to what he was doing. He withdrew. Snoke had always instructed him to never place a rein on his powers and it was a behaviour he’d have to force himself to unlearn.

            ‘We were in the throne room, and there was… an explosion maybe? After that there’s nothing.’ He took a proper look at his surroundings, ‘I’ve missed something, this isn’t the Supremacy. How did we get here?’

            Good, he didn’t remember anything about their escape or sojourn on Ahch-To.

            ‘It’s Snoke’s escape pod, well, ship I suppose. He didn’t really do things by halves did he?’ Ben looked unimpressed by her comment as she became distracted by the modern electronics and tech surrounding them. He supposed it had been some time since she’d seen mechanics like these, if she ever had.

            She slowly came back to herself, remembering that she wasn’t alone, ‘Sorry. I got you into the ship and we got away. Luckily for us, the First Order were too busy with the Resistance and their fleet being destroyed to notice Snoke’s ship jettisoning away. I think they might have had one or two questions if they’d seen us. I patched you up as best I could, but you’ve been out for a couple of days now.’

            He looked confused for a second, ‘What do you mean, their ships were destroyed?’

            ‘That’s the thing, I don’t know. They looked as though they’d been torn apart, most of them were just completely split in two. And there was this strange white trail going right through the middle, that must have been what caused everything. But the Resistance don’t have that kind of weaponry, so how…?’ Her voice trailed off.

            He thought it over in his mind, ‘They must have jumped their main craft to hyperspace, right through the centre of the fleet. It’s the only explanation for the white trail and the destruction of that many ships at once. Their main ship was the only one they had that would have been big enough to do that kind of damage.’

            ‘It wasn’t Leia was it?’ He could practically taste her fear.

            For a moment, it seemed as though he wouldn’t tell her. He didn’t want to tell her. It was humiliating that even after all these years he still couldn’t shake the bond between himself and his mother. But he at least owed the girl this, especially as it seemed she’d saved his life in the throne room.

            ‘It wasn’t, I can still feel her. She’s alive, somewhere.’

            ‘Is she safe?’ She continued.

            ‘I neither know, nor wish to know.’ He was ending the conversation there, his mother still a touchy subject for him. His priority now was making sure she hadn’t done something foolish of while he’d been unconscious, ‘Where are we heading?’

            ‘I don’t know, I was hoping that you might have some ideas.’

            ‘So, we’ve spent the last few days just floating around in space? What were you planning on doing if I hadn’t woken up?’ His face was a mix of shock and frustration. She’d just been flying around, hoping that they wouldn’t be picked up by anyone?

            ‘Don’t give me that look.’ She said angrily, ‘I’ve spent most of my life on Jakku, what makes you think I know anything about the galaxy? I had no idea which planets would be safe for us, considering that we’re fugitives flying a stolen First Order ship.’

            Her words sounded sincere enough, but in truth, she hadn’t even looked at a map. In the few hours since leaving Ahch-To, her sole aim had been to get away from the planet, hoping that by the time Ben woke up he wouldn’t be able to recognise the sector they were in from Luke’s unfinished map.

            He got up gingerly from the bunk, releasing a hiss as a sharp pain gripped his side. He lifted his shirt to see a large purple bruise mottling his skin. His ribs had been injured, at least severely bruised judging from the pain he was in. Rey got up to support and help him over to the co-pilot’s seat, where he pressed a few buttons, and a galactic map appeared in front of them.

            Luckily, as Snoke’s apprentice, he’d always had a contingency plan formed in case he’d needed to run from the order. He’d seen it as an inevitably, rather than a precaution. He studied the map, working out the best route for them to take. ‘It looks like we’re here, in the Unknown Regions.’ He pointed to the far left of the map, ‘I suggest that we head to Coruscant.’

            ‘Coruscant?’ She said incredulously, ‘You really think we’ll be safe there?  There are billions of people there, if any of them recognise us, we’re dead!’

            ‘Actually, there’s over a trillion,’ He said absently, ‘Look, whatever the Resistance managed to destroy with their stunt doesn’t matter. The First Order has ships stationed all over the galaxy to track us with and if we’ve been sitting here for two days, then they’ve likely taken the chance to regroup. That means they’ll have already sent search parties out to find us. If Hux is in charge now then regardless of where he thinks my loyalties lie, he’ll be trying to kill me. With so many people there, Coruscant is the perfect place for two fugitives to blend in.’

            She couldn’t argue with his logic, though the idea of being surrounded by so many people still worried her.

            ‘Trust me. I wouldn’t put you in harm’s way, I swear.’ He was looking at her straight in the eye, and whatever she was about to say died in her mouth.

            ‘Okay.’

            ‘First we need to get a new ship. If anyone from the First Order finds us in this, they’ll take us in straight away.’ He searched the map for somewhere they could safely trade a stolen ship but being so far away from the Mid and Inner Rims, their choices were limited.

            ‘There are two planets we could go to. One’s called Csilla, but it’s not ideal.’ He pointed to a planet above their current position. ‘It’s a bit out of the way, and the people there aren’t particularly trusting of outsiders, but that’s not my biggest worry.’ She waited for him to continue, ‘They’re smart and cunning. It’s not unlikely that if they see us in this ship, they’ll recognise it immediately and alert the First Order.’

            ‘Then that planet’s out.’ She said firmly, ‘I didn’t drag you out of a burning ship and spend two days patching you up just for us to be captured straight away. What’s the other option?’

            He was silent for a moment, ‘You’re not going to like it.’

            She raised an eyebrow at him.

            ‘It’s Jakku.’ All the breath left her in a rush. She’d never thought she’d go back there once she’d left, especially not so soon. She’d left so much of herself behind there, so much of her past.

            He turned back to the map, determination set upon his face. He’d sensed her distress through the bond, even though she had hidden it from her face. ‘I’m setting course for Csilla.’

            But she’d grown so much since she’d left, she knew she was strong enough for this. ‘No, no. We go wherever’s safest. That’s Jakku. The scavengers there won’t care where this ship came from, only how much they can get for the parts. And the First Order has no hold there.’

            ‘Yes, it’s perfect, except that you clearly can’t hold it together. Even the mention of that damn wasteland and you become useless. We’re going to Csilla.’

            She slapped his hands away from the controls. ‘I’m fine.’ She said through gritted teeth, ‘And we’re going to Jakku.’

            He once again reached to input the coordinates for Csilla, but his hand froze before he could touch the control panel. She was using her powers to stop him. His hand began shaking with the effort of trying to break her hold on him, but he couldn’t. Her raw strength was incredible.

            Eventually he gave up, jerking his hand back to his body. He wasn’t used to being at the mercy of the force, it had only ever been Snoke who’d held such power over him. He could see the smug grin she was trying to fight, and it infuriated him. He stood up slowly, still mindful of his injuries.

            ‘Fine. Do what the hell you want, but I won’t be helping you when something happens.’ He leaned in close to her face, his voice menacing and low when he spoke, but she wouldn’t be cowed by him. She knew he couldn’t hurt her. ‘And don’t you EVER do that to me again.’ He stormed away from the cockpit.

            But she couldn’t help herself, ‘Maybe if you stopped being such an arse, then I wouldn’t have to!’ She shouted over her shoulder to him, quickly regretting it as she realised how childish she was acting. She sighed, just another conversation between them that had devolved into threats and insults. How were they going to do this?

\-----------------------------------------

            It took them several hours to reach Jakku, with Ben quickly returning to his bunk. But Rey was grateful for the silence, needing a break from his unpredictable moods. She could hear him tossing and turning from her seat, seemingly in the throes of yet another nightmare, but she was unwilling to go to him. She was sure he wouldn’t appreciate knowing that she’d seen him like this.

            She landed their ship on the outskirts of one of Niima Outpost’s multiple junk trader lots and began moving noisily around the cabin. But, it wasn’t until she lowered the noisy hydraulic ramp though that he woke up and began to prepare himself for the planet’s surface.

            With no change of clothes and only being able to remove their outermost layers due to burning, they were both woefully underprepared for the heat after the cold of space. It hit them like a wall and sweat immediately began beading on their foreheads as they left the ship.

            It was only a matter of seconds before they spotted a trader walking slowly towards them. He was human, and Rey recognised him immediately as one of Plutt’s associates, often using the parts she’d scavenged to patch up his ships.

            She’d been considering leaving Ben to get them a new ship to run an errand, not sure if he would be okay with the haggling that naturally came to trading on backwater planets such as these. But on seeing the trader, she’d made up her mind.

            ‘Can you take care of this?’ She asked.

            He looked confused, ‘Where are you going?’

            ‘We’re going to be here for a few hours and I have someone I want to see. I left her without saying goodbye.’ She could see his reluctance, ‘I won’t be far.’ She added.

            ‘Don’t take too long.’ Even though it was completely irrational, he didn’t want her wandering around alone, not now she had him with her. But she could protect herself well enough and he could hardly deny her this one thing before she left with him.

            She turned, and not far in the distance, she spotted an old woman attending to the few plants she’d been able to grow in front of her home. Syndal was the only healer in the small settlement and had always watched over Rey from afar.

            She was also known at the Outpost for being somewhat of a mystery. She had visions sometimes, premonitions. Before, Rey had just believed her to be crazy, but now that she had more knowledge of the force, she was certain that Syndal was a force sensitive too.

            She was also the closest thing to a mother that Rey could remember having.

            She approached her slowly, and the old woman looked up, eyes narrowed against the glaring sun, before returning to her plants when she saw who it was ‘You’ve been gone for a while. Everyone thought you’d been eaten by the birds.’

            Rey laughed, ‘Did you?’

            ‘No. I knew better.’ Syndal said solemnly, and the laughs died in Rey’s throat as she took in her words. At least someone on Jakku had believed in her enough to think she wasn’t dead.

            ‘So, where did you go?’ the old woman continued.

            Rey was unsure exactly how much of her story it was safe to share. Syndal may have been the only person she’d been close to on Jakku, but that didn’t mean she trusted her.

            ‘I just… left.’

            The woman once again looked up at the young girl before her, her eyes scrutinising and making Rey feel as though her secrets were being laid bare. The seconds felt like hours before Syndal sniffed and continued talking. ‘No one just leaves this place, girl. But if you’re keeping things close to your chest then that’s up to you. Anyway, if you finally managed to get away, I’m wondering more why you’ve come back?’

            ‘We need a new ship. Ours is… well, let’s just say there’s some people who might be wanting it back.’ Not exactly a lie, but not the full truth either. Better to let the old woman think they’d just stolen the ship from someone than tell her everything that had happened since she’d left Jakku.

            ‘We?’ Her tone didn’t even sound surprised, more curious than anything else.

            ‘Yeah, just me and a…’ How could she finish that sentence? She could barely wrap her own mind around the truth, let alone try to explain it to someone else. It had been a very confusing few weeks. ‘He’s a friend.’

            She hummed knowingly. Not much got past the old woman.

            Syndal squinted into the distance, using her gnarled hand to shield her eyes from the harsh midday sun, ‘Handsome friend you got there. In this situation, I’d normally ask the girl if she was leaving here willingly, but you can take of yourself. Besides, if you’ve got someone coming after you over that ship then it can’t hurt to have an extra pair of hands on board.’

            Rey smiled gratefully, happy that the old woman cared enough to think of asking yet respected her enough not to ask. But she hadn’t come here to discuss her current situation.

            ‘Syndal…’

            ‘I know, I know. You don't need to ask me.’ The old woman waved her off, before she stood upright, stretching out her back with several loud cracks and moved inside. When she returned a few moments later, she was carrying a small brown sack.

            ‘I couldn’t get everything, but what was left behind after the scavengers went through it is in here.’

            Rey took the bag from her and peered into it. What was left of her home, fifteen years of her life on the planet all condensed into a sack. There was barely anything in it, and what was there were only the things with no monetary value.

            ‘Thank you, truly.’ She said, and the old woman nodded in return.

            ‘Did you…?’ Something in the back of her head began to bristle. She sensed him before she saw whatever it was that had sparked his ire. Without a thought, she turned and started running as fast as she could to where Ben was stood, the trader cowering on the ground in front of him. The sand sucked her feet down with every step, making it all the harder to get to him before he did something stupid.

            She skidded to a stop in front of him, holding her hands out in front of his face. She looked to his clenched fists, grateful that she’d insisted he leave his lightsaber behind to avoid drawing attention.

            ‘STOP! Whatever it is you’re doing, Ben, just stop!’ She shouted breathlessly.

            ‘Get out of the way.’ He growled. He started to move past her, but his footsteps were faltering. She was using her powers on him again. This time though, he had his anger and the pain from his injuries to fuel his own, and he broke out of her hold easily.

            ‘I told you to never do that again!’ He shouted at her.

            ‘You need to stop. This is ridiculous, every time I turn around you’re…’ He’d begun to move past her again, determined to get to the man behind her. She reached out, grabbing his uncovered hand, and everything stopped.

_It was as though she’d been sucked into his mind, seeing everything from his perspective. Their thoughts overlapped, and she could barely tell anymore where he ended, and she began. The trader was no longer cowering on the floor, but rather stood proudly in front of her. He was rambling, extolling the virtues of a ship that, as any trained eye could easily tell, seemed to be missing several key components. It was garbage, and both she and Ben knew it._

_Ben’s head twisted round, bored by the man who obviously didn’t know when to stop talking._

_What was he doing? Oh, she thought. He was keeping an eye on her. He didn’t trust the people here and he was humouring the trader because his lot was perfectly positioned to continue watching her._

_‘So, you’re taking the scavenger with you?’ The trader had finally noticed his customer’s disinterest, choosing to change the subject to common ground since he knew that Rey was with him. Ben turned back to him, his face neutral._

_‘What do you mean?’_

_‘Just that she’s a good choice. Girls round here will do anything for a few portions. And that one, she’s feisty. I tried her myself, a few years ago. Got what I needed from her, but she’s not my usual type. She might work for you though, you look like you might enjoy the challenge!’ He began laughing, but Ben didn’t join in._

_His fun soon ended, his hands moving to grasp his throat. He was clawing at it furiously, his air supply completely cut off by Ben’s mental grip on him. He was lifted from his feet, slowly rising to be level with his captor, before being dropped unceremoniously to the sands. Something had caught Ben’s attention. It was her, running to him._

            And, just as suddenly as it had come, her view of the past ended. She was sucked back into her own mind, her own body, doubled over and gulping down huge lungful’s of air.

            But Ben had recovered more quickly than her, and he was already storming away. He’d seen something, just as she had, and it scared her to think what it could have been. She went to reach out again but stopped herself. She didn’t want another vision to occur if she touched him.

            She gathered her strength, still unsteady from her ordeal, and chased him down again. It was a small blessing that, even with his powers fuelling him, he was slower than usual.

            ‘What did you see?’ He ignored her.

            ‘Ben, so help me. I will jump in the ship and leave without you if you don’t fucking stop!’

            That caught his attention, but it made her feel immediately guilty. Using the threat of abandoning him was never something she’d wanted to do, not since she’d felt in the throne room just how deep his insecurities ran.

            He stopped, breathing deeply as he tried to control his actions, and she moved to stand in front of him. ‘What did you see?’ She said, much more calmly this time.

            His eyes screwed closed, as though he couldn’t stop replaying the images in his head, but despising himself for doing so, ‘It was… I saw… some creature. He had his hands all over you. He wanted you.’ She knew without him saying the name exactly who he was referring to. It was Plutt.

            She wanted to tell him that nothing had happened, that as soon as Plutt had tried to start something with her, she hadn't hesitated to beat him senseless, that she'd only returned to working for him because she'd had no choice and he'd needed her. But she was certain Ben had already seen that in the vision, and yet he was still seething. How could she get him to calm down?

            ‘Ben…’

            ‘He can’t have you, you’re mine.’ His eyes flashed open, and the possession in both them and his voice frightened her.

            She tried to put her own feelings aside, wanting her mind to be clear as she finally expressed her thoughts, ‘We can’t do this. Every time I turn around you’re doing… something! Even when you’re calm, and you seem happy, I’m worried that something will happen to upset you, and you… you just change so suddenly, Ben. I can’t spend the rest of my life always watching you to make sure you’re not trying to kill someone. We’re just going around in circles.’

            The fight left him a little at that. He went to speak, but she stopped him.

            ‘You won’t argue with me on this. I know what he did, I was there, remember?’ She said with a small, forced smile. ‘But you don’t see me running to find him, as much as I may want to.’

            She took a step closer, finally feeling brave enough to grasp at his still clenched fist. ‘You told me in the throne room that I needed to let my past go. And I have. When we leave here today, that’ll be it. I won’t be coming back again. Everything I’m taking with me is in this bag.’ She raised the small sack she was still holding onto, ‘A few trinkets that the scavengers didn’t even think were worthy of stealing. All the bad memories I have of this place will be buried. But you need to do the same. Can you let it go?’

            His reply was instant, he knew that she could ask him nearly anything and he would agree to it, ‘I can try.’

            She shook her head at him, ‘No, that’s not good enough. I need you to swear to me that you will. You’re not a child anymore, and I won’t be your babysitter for the rest of my life.’

            ‘I swear. For you.’

            It frightened her, how much she believed his vow. Everything about their situation frightened her, though she’d never admit it aloud. The depths of his emotions were astounding, especially given that they’d only been on speaking terms for a few weeks now. He’d needed someone to place all his feelings of loneliness and abandonment on, hoping that they could fix him, and now they had this force bond between them, she had become his emotional crutch.

            But looking back on their times together, even before they’d run away, she couldn’t help but think that she was encouraging him, and maybe even doing the same thing.

            ‘From now on, when you feel yourself losing control, you come find me. No matter when it is, or where I am. I won’t let innocent people die because you can’t control yourself.’

            He nodded slowly, knowing that he was being chided but not caring how much she was treating him like a child. ‘And what do we do about him?’

            She looked down at the trader in disgust. He hadn’t moved from the ground, and Rey wondered if that was through fear or Ben’s own powers forcing him to stay still. ‘Nothing. We leave him, there are plenty of other traders around here prepared to give us a ship. He’s nothing to us.’

            Ben nodded slowly in understanding, then suddenly crumpled in half. Now that his anger had subsided, he was left with only the pain from his injuries, protesting strongly at his recent exertions. Rey threw his arm over her shoulder, pulling him up to standing with only a small groan for him.

            ‘You should go back to the ship.’

            ‘I’m fine.’ He said stoically.

            They began walking away, but there was something still bothering him, ‘Was he telling the truth? Did he…?’ He couldn’t even bring himself to say the words, trying to stop himself imagining a young Rey, willing to do anything to alleviate the pain and hunger that came from living in such harsh surroundings.

            ‘No, but would it matter if he was?’ She asked, curious as to how he’d reply.

            ‘No.’ He said, ‘I’m learning to let it go, remember?’

            Was that supposed to be an attempt at humour? The small smile she saw on his lips indicated that it was. It was dreadful, she thought. But the fact that he was making an effort was such a step for him, a show that he was willing to try. She was sure it had been a very long time since he’d last been able to smile, and she decided to play along with him.

            ‘I should think so. But you know that ship he was trying to sell you? It was terrible. I mean, really, it was awful! Even a child could have told you it was a piece of garbage.’

            ‘Well then, if you think you can do better scavenger, lead the way.’ And for the first time she felt as though he wasn’t using that word as an insult, that to him, it was just who she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! As always, thanks to everyone who gave comments and kudos! Reading them really motivates me to write. I hope you like long chapters though, every time I looked it over, it got longer and longer. Now for this chapter, I did actually look at a galactic map and luckily for the story, Jakku is the nearest planet (that we know) to Ahch-To. How awesome is that! Anyway, thanks again, and comments are love!


	6. Parlay

Present Day…

            Poe was half buried underneath a mass of tangled wires when his commlink finally alerted him to a new message. The General had returned from her mission and was requesting his presence in her personal rooms.

            He threw the wiring off his lap, frustrated with the lack of progress his distracted mind had been making with the new ship. He didn’t like Leia going off on missions alone, and he’d been checking his comm almost constantly since she’d left. Inaction didn’t suit him, and Finn had been forced to distract him more than once- not that he’d complained at the time.

            ‘Hey buddy, you got this?’ He called out to BB-8, pointing to the section of wiring he’d been working on. BB-8 beeped in response, popping out his lighter and lighting it in an imitation of a thumbs up. It was not the first time Poe had wondered where in the galaxy he’d learned that. He truly was one of a kind.

            Having confidence in his droid to continue preparing his new x-wing, Poe ran from the hangar and through the corridors of their latest base. It was fortunate that after almost three years stationed there, he knew exactly which route to take to avoid people, otherwise he undoubtedly would have had a lot of apologising to do.

            The door to Leia’s rooms opened automatically as he arrived, obviously she’d been anticipating his eagerness to see her. He walked in, seeing her sat at the circular table in the middle of the room, one of the few luxuries she’d accepted as a Resistance General.

            ‘Poe, I’m glad you came so quickly. Please, shut the door.’ She said.

            ‘General, is this about the mission? Because you know I can…’

            Leia held up her hand to silence him. She’d heard his opinions so many times now as to why he should be allowed to help, she could probably have recited the arguments in her sleep.

            ‘We’ll get to that later. For now, I just need to know that what I’m about to tell you will not leave this room.’

            His whole body grew rigid as he stood to attention before her. This was clearly a serious matter for her and so he would act accordingly- as a soldier speaking with their superior.

            ‘Of course, General.’

            But Leia didn’t appreciate it when he acted properly. Even though his actions were earnest, Poe doing things ‘by the rules’ was so rare that it almost felt like he was mocking her.

            ‘Good, good. Now take a seat.’

            He sat down and took his first good look at the woman sat across for him at the table. She’d only been gone for a few days, yet somehow, she looked years older. Her right hand was making soothing circles on her temple, an attempt at staving off one of her all too familiar headaches.

            She was silent for a while, occasionally opening her mouth to speak, before closing it suddenly, unable to find the right words to start off their conversation. She was trying to be delicate, but in this situation, maybe the straightforward approach was what was most needed.

            ‘I went to see my son.’

            Poe had not been expecting that.

            ‘You met with Kylo Ren? Alone? How did you even know where to find him? It’s been years since anyone’s heard from him.’ His shocked tone would have been insulting if it hadn’t also been so amusing. He did seem determined in life to see her as an old woman in constant need of his protection.

            But he was also her most ardent supporter, and deserved answers.

            ‘After she left the Resistance, Luke gave Rey a map to a planet in the Unknown Regions. He told her that if she ever wanted my attention, then she should head there. About a year ago, I finally received a signal from the planet that she’d arrived. I knew that if she was there, my son couldn’t be too far away.’

            ‘Then you were right, she’s with him?’

            When Chewie had first told them about Rey’s disappearance after the battle of Crait, it was only Leia who hadn’t been worried. Somehow, it seemed that she’d always known Rey was safe and with her son, despite having no evidence to prove it.

            But then his mind turned to a bigger problem.

            ‘Man, Finn’s going to be crushed.’ He said, more to himself than anyone else.

            Leia reached forward to take the young pilot’s hand in her own, squeezing it tightly.

            ‘I know. Just as I know you don’t agree with my decision to include them in this, but we’ll need their help if we’re going to infiltrate the First Order undetected.’

            ‘General, I’ve told you. I can do this, just let me take my squad up and we’ll get you onto that ship no problem.’

            She’d hoped that being forced to involve Ben and Rey in their plans would have alerted him to the seriousness of this mission, but it didn’t seem to have had an effect on his impetuousness. He reminded her so much of Han sometimes.

            ‘I’m sorry Poe, but this requires a more delicate touch than you’re used to. We all need to put our pride aside and think about what could happen if anything goes wrong. You know there’s more than just one life at stake here.’

            Leia could see clearly from his expression that he still wasn’t happy. Poe had given his life to the Resistance, as had his parents before him, and for so many years it had been Ben’s goal to destroy them. It was a lot to ask him to forget the past and work with the enemy, but she was grateful that he’d at least been willing to hear her out.

            ‘I see that there’s little point in arguing with you on this, Poe. Look, I received a communication from Rey as I was returning to the resistance. They’ve agreed to meet with me and I want you to come with me.’

            That caught his attention.

            ‘And Ren’s okay with you bringing Resistance members with you when you meet?’

            She grinned slyly, ‘Quite the opposite. I was told very specifically to come alone.’

            Poe’s grin began to match Leia’s. It was good to know that she wasn’t just capitulating because Ren was her son. And he did always enjoy seeing her rebellious streak displayed so proudly.

            ‘Besides,’ She continued, ‘I imagine that compared to the fleet Ben’s no doubt expecting for me to bring, one lone pilot will be a bit of a surprise for him.’

            Poe chuckled, but Leia’s smile slowly vanished from her face, as it often did when she thought of Ben and how much he’d changed from the little boy she’d known, ‘I also need someone to keep me in line. He may have done terrible things but he’s still my son, and our last conversation didn’t exactly go to plan. I don’t want it to happen again.’

            He held on more tightly to the hand still in his, comforting her as though she were his own mother.

            ‘Well if he’s expecting a small army to be waiting for him, maybe another person wouldn’t hurt- you know, besides you and me.’

            ‘Who do you have in mind, or do I even need to ask?’ She didn’t. Before Poe had walked through the door, she’d known this question would be asked.

            ‘He wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t at least try. They went through a lot together and he… he doesn’t like to talk about it, but I know he still misses her.’

            She thought it over once more. She couldn’t risk the mission, but she also couldn’t hurt Finn more than he already would be by Rey’s reappearance.

            ‘Very well Poe. I can’t imagine I’d be able to stop you both anyway. Just make sure he can control himself while we’re there. I know there’s no love lost between you and my son, but for Finn it’s much more personal. We need these negotiations to go well and that won’t happen if we attack them on sight.’

            ‘Yes General.’

            She gave him the stern look that she only reserved for direct orders, ‘I mean it, Poe. You’re in charge of him down there.’

            ‘I’ll make sure he understands.’

            She nodded, happy that he seemed to appreciate how much rode on their success, and they continued to talk about the situation for a while longer before Poe was eventually dismissed to return to his quarters.

\------------------------------------

            He was shocked to say the least. Leia had ordered him to be prepared to leave first thing in the morning, not that he believed he’d get any sleep before then. And how would Finn take the news that he now had the chance to see Rey again? Poe had never met the woman before, but he’d learned quickly that she meant the world to him.

            He made his way to their shared quarters slowly, his mind exhausted from all the information Leia had forced on him over the hour-long meeting. Battle plans and strategies and secrets bounced around in his head, but it was a relief when he saw Finn just lounging around as though nothing had changed. And it hadn’t for him, yet.

            Finn looked up from the holopad he was reading as Poe walked in, grinning widely.

            ‘Hey. Look what I got from Rose.’ He said, holding it up to show the book he’d been reading on it. To anyone else on the base it would barely have been worth mentioning, but three years on it still gave Finn so much joy to have the freedom to do what he wanted in his down time.

            Poe kissed him on the forehead as he moved past him, lingering a little longer than necessary, and threw himself down on the edge their bunk. He sat with his legs spread wide, his elbows resting on his knees and his face lowered into his hands.

            ‘Finn, look. We need to talk about something.’

            Finn looked up, realising the seriousness of the situation from Poe’s body language, and turned off the pad.

            ‘Okay, what’s up?’ Finn asked, before Poe let out a huff of air and groaned loudly into his hands.

            ‘I… I don’t even know where to start with all this. I can barely wrap my head around it myself, but first thing tomorrow I’m to report to Leia for a mission. And she agreed that you can come too.’ He said, quickly adding, ‘But only if you want to.’

            ‘Well, can I at least know what this mission is first?’

            ‘We’re heading to Endor for some… delicate negotiations.’ Poe’s vague explanations weren’t exactly filling the other man with confidence.

            ‘Okay, you’re still not giving me too much to go off here.’ Finn teased lightly, hoping to diffuse some of the tension Poe had brought into the room with him.

            ‘It’s with Rey.’

            There was a beat of silence.

            ‘Rey? But I thought… we haven’t…’ He began, but stopped to try and get his thoughts into some semblance of order.

            ‘I know.’

            Finn hadn’t heard a word from Rey in almost three years. She’d gotten in contact when she first disappeared, telling him that she was safe and not to worry about her. But after that, there had been nothing from her. It had broken his heart.

            ‘She, oh man…’ Poe tried to continue, ‘Leia got word about a year ago that Rey was okay. Apparently, she headed to this planet Leia knew about, somewhere deep in the Unknown Regions, and settled down there for a while.’

            ‘Wow. I can’t believe… just wow…’ Finn’s mind was everywhere. He hadn’t even been sure she was still alive, let alone that he’d get the chance to see her again.

            And he wanted to see her. So much. But as the seconds ticked by, Poe giving him the space and silence he needed to think, his hurt and confusion over the situation only grew. Why hadn’t Rey contacted him? She’d known how to three years ago and since then the Resistance hadn’t needed to change bases. As his first friend, the first person who had ever cared about him, she meant more to him than she could ever possibly know.

            And Leia. He’d gone to the General so often in those initial few months when he’d been finding his place, knowing that she’d been one of the few people who could empathise with him. She knew how far he’d have gone to find any information regarding his friend.

            ‘Why wasn’t I told about this a year ago?’ He asked angrily.

            ‘Leia said she knew you’d just run after her, she didn’t want you getting yourself killed trying to find her. And I hate to say it, but I agree with her’

            ‘Rey wouldn’t hurt me.’ Finn’s tone warned Poe not to argue with him on this.

            ‘Maybe not, I don’t know. Never met the woman. But Kylo Ren wouldn’t hesitate if he thought you were getting in the way.’

            Finn looked confused, why did Kylo Ren have anything to do with it? Unless…

            ‘She’s been with him this whole time, hasn’t she? She let us think she was dead and she’s been with him? Chewie said he’d sent her to him, during the Crait mission. I assumed after she contacted me that something had gone wrong and she was hiding from something, that she didn’t want me getting involved or hurt. But instead she… she just stayed with him?’

            Three years with a maniac like Ren, whispering in her ear and trying to change her. Would she even be the same person anymore, how could she be? He barely registered as Poe continued talking.

            ‘Looks that way, but we won’t know anything for sure until tomorrow. I don’t even think the General knows that much of the story at the minute. From what I heard, Ren wasn’t too excited to see her again.’

            He looked over at Finn’s dazed, teary eyes; he didn’t need Leia’s rumoured force powers to know that this news had devastated him. And while Poe was certain that seeing Rey again would be a good thing for him, he wasn’t going to push the younger man into doing something he didn’t feel ready for.

            ‘Like I said, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Hell, I only asked Leia if you could on the off chance you might.’

            Finn rubbed his eyes, clearing away any tears before they had the chance to fall.

            ‘I… I don’t know. I’ll think about it, I have until the morning to decide, right?’ Finn clasped his hand around the back of the other man’s neck, drawing him until his forehead rested against Poe’s temple.

            ‘But, for what it’s worth, thanks. It means a lot to me that you’d get me in on this.’

            ‘Anything for you.’ Poe answered.

\-----------------------------------------------------

            The mood in the cockpit was subdued as they entered through Endor’s atmosphere. The jungle appeared through the thick clouds as a vivid, verdant blanket, spreading out beneath them.

            Only a few years earlier, green had been a colour Rey had only dreamed of. And even now, so many years and hardships later, she still treasured every moment she spent surrounded by it.

            But Rey didn’t like feeling Ben’s emotions so faintly- the constant low-level storm she associated with him was almost as soothing as a lullaby to her now.

            ‘Are you okay?’ She asked quietly, placing her hand on his arm. After so long spent alone and without human contact, she knew that her touch was the best way to distract him from his thoughts.

            ‘I’m fine.’ He raised a small smile, but she could see that it didn’t reach his eyes. It was a gesture done solely for her benefit. He’d only agreed to the meeting for her and Anakin and she appreciated it, but it didn’t make it any easier to feel him concealing his feelings from her in the hopes that he wouldn’t appear weak.

            Emotions that, despite his efforts, she felt spike as he recognised his mother, already waiting for them on the planet’s surface.

            ‘She’s not alone. We told her to come alone.’ He said hotly, though he’d never truly expected her to comply.

            Rey could also sense it, a familiar presence that stood out clearly in her mind, warming her with a sense of home and belonging that she’d only felt recently with Ben and Anakin. ‘It’s Finn’ She said quietly, ‘and… someone else.’

            ‘Can you sense more than three down there?’ With her past links to the Resistance, it would be easier for her to sense if others were hiding in the forest.

            She opened her senses to their surroundings, allowing a wave of life to wash over her. It was dizzying, overloading her senses, but so beautiful to be able to feel so much energy at once. And at the centre of it all was Leia and Finn. How badly she’d wanted to see him and talk to him over the past three years.

            When she replied her voice was dazed, as though she were drunk on the feeling of her own force powers.

‘No, there’s no one else.’ 

            Rey was slow to come back to herself as Ben landed their ship in the clearing Leia had chosen for their meeting.  She looked down at the child cradled in her arms, blinking rapidly as if only just realising he was there. ‘What shall we do about Anakin?’

            ‘I’ll put him to sleep. If I don’t, he’ll no doubt end up destroying the ship.’ Rey didn’t like the idea of Ben using his force powers to compel the boy to sleep, but she knew they had little choice.

            Anakin’s own powers were growing by the day and being apart from his parents, even if only for a few minutes, often left the boy upset and prone to angry outbursts. Though, unlike most one-year olds, his distress had begun to manifest itself in malfunctions and breakdowns and smashed objects.

            Ben could sense Rey’s agreement to this, then the question that seemed to always be on the tip of her tongue. ‘You don’t need to ask me again. We need to do this. You said it yourself, we can’t keep running forever and we need them if we’re going to stay safe.’

            Rey stood from her seat, leaning down to kiss him as she moved past. The kiss was slow, their lips gently moving over each other’s, and she poured into it all the gratitude she felt towards him for doing this. She was so proud of him.

            They eventually parted, before putting Anakin to bed and finally lowering the ship’s ramp.  

            Poe saw Finn begin to move at the sight of her, but he put his arm out to stop him moving or doing something impulsive.

They stopped at the opposite side of the small clearing, several metres away from the rebel group, yet still too close for Ben’s comfort.

            The only sound they could hear was the trees rustling in the wind, neither side wanting to be the first to speak. It was one of Leia’s classic power moves, something she used to control negotiations, and it grated on Ben’s nerves.

            His voice rose out, loud, clear, and full of authority.

            ‘You wanted us to talk again, you agreed to this meeting, and yet now you stay silent? What do you want from us?’ He could not keep the venom from his voice, despite how fervently Rey had asked him to be civil.

            ‘We need help.’ Leia replied.

            ‘We already know that.’

            Leia sighed, he wasn’t planning to make this easy for her. But then again, when had her son made anything easy for her? She decided then to just get straight to the point, who knew how long Ben would give her to speak.

            ‘The First Order has captured the Falcon, Chewie along with it.’

            Rey stood frozen, but if Ben felt similarly then he wasn’t letting it show on his face. He held no love for the Wookie, and he still had the scar on his abdomen to prove the feeling was mutual.

            Leia continued, ‘We need your help in getting him out of there.’

            Ben sensed there was something she was keeping from him. Not Rey, just him.

            ‘You’re hiding something. If it was just a simple rescue mission you wouldn’t be asking for our help. It’s overkill.’

            Leia turned to address Rey. ‘When they took the Falcon, Chewie managed to get an encrypted distress signal sent to us. It’s how we were able to find out so quickly what had happened. He included a message, here.’

            Leia held up her hand, and within was a small scrap of paper.

            ‘We managed to decrypt it, and part of it was meant specifically for you.’

            Rey’s brow furrowed in confusion. Why would Chewie be messaging her? She moved to take the paper from Leia’s hand. It was torn in a ragged line at the top, close to where the hastily scrawled handwriting began. Probably an attempt to keep the rest of the message a secret from her and Ben. She moved back to his side and he read the paper over her shoulder.

_Rey, I’m sorry. I didn’t hide the books like you asked. I thought they were safer on board the Falcon with me. I was wrong._

            He was talking about the Jedi texts.

            Now she understood why they’d come to her and Ben for help. Even with no force training, it wouldn’t take Hux long to realise how important those books were, and the security surrounding them would be tight. It would be an extremely difficult mission, but their force powers would help them greatly.

            And they had no choice if it meant getting Chewie to safety and the Jedi texts away from the First Order.

            Rey looked up from the paper, ‘Do you know where they’re keeping him?’

            ‘We believe he’s on the Finalizer. After the destruction of the Supremacy, Hux made it his new flagship. It’s heavily defended, but fortunately for us it doesn’t have the same firepower that Snoke’s ship had.’

            ‘Then that’s where we’re going.’ She said decidedly.

            But in her determination to retrieve the books, Rey had almost forgotten that Ben was even there, and that she was signing him up for a mission to save someone she knew he hated. She looked up at him, anticipating seeing him trying to contain his anger.

            Instead, she saw a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. That was strange. Why would he be happy about this?

            But she didn’t have much time to think on it, as Leia’s words drew her from her musings.

            ‘What will you do with Anakin while you’re gone? When I came to you before I didn’t factor in that you would have a child you’d be leaving behind.’

            ‘Anakin? Who’s Anakin?’ Finn spoke for the first time since they’d arrived on the moon.

            Rey looked sheepish, this was information that he should have known, that he _would_ have known if she’d been able to keep in contact with him. ‘He’s our son, Finn.’

            ‘You have a…’ Ben cut him off mid question.

            ‘He’s not your concern.’ He growled. Too many people were learning of Anakin’s existence, and it set him on edge.

            Finn moved to speak again, but a quick look from Leia was all it took for Poe to move in front of Finn and turn to face him.

            ‘Not now.’ He whispered.

            Leia looked at Rey, imploringly, ‘He should be our concern. Rey, leave him with us, you know he’ll be taken care of with his family.’ She opened her mind as she spoke, so that Rey could see her intentions clearly. Leia wanted her to know that she was speaking to her as a grandmother, only concerned with the safety of her grandson.

            But Rey didn’t need to hear Ben’s thoughts to know that leaving Anakin with the Resistance wasn’t an option.

            ‘Thank you, Leia, but he’ll be taken care of.’

            Leia tried not to let the pain of rejection show on her face, but the hurt had settled deep within her chest, a knife held against her heart. An awkward silence once again descended on the clearing, as she tried to keep her mouth closed and her tears at bay.

            But it wasn’t so silent in Rey’s head, with Ben’s voice appearing in her thoughts.

            _The traitor hasn’t looked away from you since we arrived. He wants to speak with you._

            He then spoke aloud, ‘General, now that we’ve agreed to help you, I wish to speak to you in private.’ Leia nodded heavily.

            Rey knew that Ben was using Finn as an excuse to be alone with his mother and not have her involved, but in the moment, she didn’t care. As the two Skywalkers walked up the ramp of the Resistance ship, Poe’s hand lifted from where it had been resting on Finn’s arm, holding him back.

            The moment his light restraint was lifted, they ran straight to one another, throwing their arms around each other’s shoulders. There was no thought behind the gesture, only instinct and desperation.

            It took Rey a long time to notice that she wasn’t the only one crying, but as they eventually pulled back from one another she still felt the need to explain her tears.

            ‘I didn’t know if you’d come. I thought you’d never forgive me for leaving.’

            ‘I don’t know if I do. Until this morning, I wasn’t even sure if I could make myself come here.’ He couldn’t help himself, and he threw himself at her again, pushing his face into her neck and breathing in the scent of her. She smelled the same, and she sounded the same, and she felt the same. ‘But I’ve missed you so much.’

            Since his desertion of the First Order, he’d heard people talking about him often. They thought he was too naïve, too nice, for the galaxy. Rose had even gone as far as to scream it into his face once when she was particularly angry with him.

            Maybe they were right. But here he didn’t care. Rey was his first ever friend, the first person in his life he’d truly cared about. She may have hurt him with her silence, but he understood that she’d had her reasons, and he knew that he would forgive her anything because she was his friend.

            Rey smiled through the warm tears dripping onto his neck. ‘I’ve missed you too. And I’m so sorry Finn.’

            Eventually, he forced himself to pull back from her, holding her at arm’s length. ‘Let me look at you. You look the same.’

            ‘It’s only been three years.’ She laughed.

            ‘I know, I know.’ He was too happy for rational thought, it was just too good to see her again.

            ‘Finn?’ He heard a quiet voice from behind him, one that was reluctant to interrupt his happiness.

            ‘Oh yeah!’ Finn ran back to where Poe was standing, grabbing his sleeve, and dragging him over to meet a beaming Rey.

            ‘Poe, this is Rey. Rey, Poe. He’s my…’ His voice trailed off and his hand began to fidget as he tried to think of the right word. ‘Boyfriend’ just didn’t seem to encapsulate what they were to each other.

            But after a few seconds, Rey decided to save him, ‘I get it Finn.’ She laughed. And she did. She and Ben were in the same position and she’d recognised Finn’s conundrum as soon as his voice had stopped. How could you describe someone who’s everything to you, without an official title like ‘husband’?

            She reached out her hand, ‘Pleased to meet you, Poe.’

            ‘Likewise.’

\------------------------------

            ‘I’m glad you’ve decided to help us.’ Leia stated. They had gone inside the Resistance ship, but the small space was dominated by Ben’s large body and it unnerved her.

            ‘It was Rey’s choice to do so, not mine.’ He said absently, toying with a blaster someone had left behind on a previous mission.

            ‘Yes, she seems quite determined.’

            ‘Why wouldn’t she be?’ He turned to face the woman before him, ‘The Jedi texts contain a lot of information that would be dangerous in the wrong hands. It’s hardly a revelation that she’d be desperate to get them back.’

            Leia’s eyebrows rose sharply. She was surprised that Rey would have mentioned the Jedi texts to Ben- especially as their previous meeting suggested that Rey hadn’t disclosed everything to him, such as Leia’s connection to Nocoma.

            He snorted at her with derision. ‘Don’t give me that look. She told me about them a long time ago. She also mentioned that she asked the Wookie to hide them somewhere safe if she didn’t return. I wonder why he chose not to?’

            She chose to ignore his question, wanting to find out more about their relationship, ‘It’s good that you have no secrets from each other.’

            He laughed darkly, ‘Oh, we have secrets. For example, I’ve yet to tell her that it was you who contacted the First Order and told them where we were, mere days ago.’

            Leia’s reply was calm, he was an intelligent man and she’d expected him to work it out quickly, ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

            ‘Neither of us have time for your games, General. Someone contacted the First Order and told them that we were leaving Nocoma. They sent TIE fighters to search the system. It was just pure luck that it was them who found us, and not the destroyer that had brought them so far out.’

            ‘And why do you think any of that was me? If that happened after I left you, then it was a coincidence.’ They both knew her words were just lip service, a denial she was expected to make in this game of chess they were playing.

            ‘I _told_ you, I don’t have time for games.’ He snarled at her, ‘Coincidences like that don’t just happen, and you are the only person in the galaxy who both knew where we were and had something to gain from the attack. You needed to speak to me again if you wanted help for the Resistance, preferably after Rey had had a chance to soften my resolve I imagine.’

            He breathed deeply, calming himself a little after his tirade, ‘Though I am surprised you were willing to risk your own life to get me here, it’s not really your style. You must have known there was a chance I would kill you for this.’

            At least he was being honest with her, ‘I thought that the benefits outweighed the risks if it meant securing your help. We need those texts back, before the First Order get their hands on any force sensitives who could use them.’

            ‘You really don’t know anything, do you? If the First Order has those texts, then the Knights of Ren will already be trying to translate them, if they haven’t already.’ He replied.

            Leia chose to ignore the slight. ‘We believe that Hux purged the Knights of Ren shortly after becoming Supreme Leader.’

            ‘No. Their actions became less overt, but Rey and I made sure to keep an ear out for any news or rumours, so we could keep one step ahead of them. It’s obvious that they’re still out there, if you know the signs.’

            ‘Then it’s worse than I imagined.’ She said quietly, her mind already buzzing with the implications this news could have on the Resistance.

            ‘Yes, and it’s the only reason I’m not fighting Rey and her determination to help you.’

            His answer surprised her. He’d been in hiding with Rey for so long now, most of the galaxy had assumed them dead. Why would the Knights of Ren not have thought the same?

            ‘You think they’ll come after you, even after all this time?’

            ‘The First Order has been hunting us since the moment we left, having the texts will only serve to embolden them. I don’t think they will, I _know_ they will.’

_Yes, let her think that that’s why you’re helping, because you want to stop the Knights,_ Ben thought to himself. In truth, when he’d first read the Wookie’s message, he’d been worried, believing the loss of the Jedi texts to be a massive blow to his own plans. But now that he’d had a chance to think, he wasn’t so sure.

            For now, though, he needed the Resistance’s help, and that would be so much easier with the General tied on a string.

            ‘You don’t realise how lucky you are.’ He said pointedly, ‘Rey’s smart, and if it wasn’t for her fondness and belief in you she would have easily put together the pieces and realised that you were the one to contact the First Order.’ Leia schooled her face into a picture of neutrality. He wouldn’t have chosen to speak to her in private if he was going to reveal anything to Rey, so where was he going with this?

            ‘I actually admire your tactics, General. You knew exactly which strings to pull to manipulate me into considering helping you. Maybe you have more darkness inside of you than you let on.’

            ‘Ben, everything I do is…’

            Her words trailed off as he leaned in close to his mother’s face, his much larger form looming over her until they were practically standing nose to nose. ‘But if you ever do something like this to my family again, I will not hesitate to tell Rey that it was your actions that put her son directly in the path of the First Order, and she will not lift a finger when I strike you down where you stand. Have I made myself clear?’

            ‘Perfectly.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! As always, thank you to everyone who has commented so far and given kudos, everyone’s support really helps to motivate me to keep writing :D This is a little later than I’d have liked, but with The Last Jedi novelisation coming out yesterday, I’m sure you’ll understand why!


	7. FB: Cage of Their Own Making

3 years earlier…

            The sight of Coruscant’s upper levels was something Rey knew she’d never be able to forget. The whole planet was one giant city, teaming with life forms from all corners of the known galaxy, and some from even further beyond. It radiated energy, the force pulsing all around them, neither dark nor light, but seemingly at peace in a place where every kind of presence was pressed together as one.

            Ben had switched their ship for a speeder once they’d arrived on the planet, leaving their own transport in an easily accessible garage, and the open cockpit allowed Rey to feel everything so much more closely. The city was flashing by them in a blur so Ben slowed the speeder a little, giving her more of an opportunity to take in the world around her.

            ‘Was it how you imagined it would be?’ Ben asked.

            Her response was quiet and distracted. ‘I never could have imagined this.’

            Despite the loss of prestige that had come with losing its status as the galaxy’s capital during the fall of the empire, it was hard to tell that much had changed. The buildings still gleamed in the sunlight and an endless stream of ships still descended through the atmosphere to make port.

            ‘How can so many people live here? Surely the planet isn’t big enough to support everyone.’

            They began to fly down between the skyscrapers that covered the planet, day turning to night around them as the light was chased out by shadows. It took them some time to arrive at their destination, innumerable levels extending outwards, seemingly into a whole other world beneath the shine and polish of the surface.

            ‘The city reaches deep down into the planet. There are thousands of levels, I doubt there’s anyone alive who knows exactly how many there are. The further down you go, the worse it gets.’ He spoke as though he hated the planet, but how could anyone hate such a place? The force signatures of a thousand lifeforms pressed in on her from all sides, yet she didn’t feel suffocated by it. Rather, it felt as though the planet was merely the starting point for countless adventures and opportunities.

            ‘Will we be going all the way down?’ Her voice was excited as she turned to face him. It was like looking at a pet, eager to explore the world with their owner.

            ‘No.’ He hated refusing her and feeling her disappointment leeching into his mind but keeping a low profile would be the key to their safety. He had no doubt that the First Order would find them at some point, but he planned to keep them far from their door for as long as he could.

            From that point onwards, their journey was taken in silence, until Ben eventually stopped their speeder on a wide walkway outside a small store. They hopped out and onto the street, which Rey quickly regretted as she realised the walkway hadn’t originally been grey, but rather years of grime and dirt had turned it so. She looked around, noting that much of the area was painted in the same filthy colour, and when she glanced up, there was no sun or sky to improve the view.

            Ben’s deep voice brought her back to the present, and his hand on her lower back pushed her toward the store, ‘We’ll get what we need from here. Put your cloak on and keep the hood up.’

            They hadn’t been able to acquire many supplies from Jakku with the money they’d earned from the sale of Snoke’s much superior escape ship, but fortunately Ben had insisted that they at least had something to hide their faces.

            And it was this train of thought that lead Rey to an important realisation, ‘What about money?’ Rey asked. Being a scavenger wasn’t exactly a high paying career and she certainly had none to speak of.

            ‘Don’t worry about it. I have plenty.’ His voice was guarded, and his words suggested that the conversation, in his mind at least, was over.

            But to Rey it certainly wasn’t.

            ‘How do you have money with you? Where did you get it from?’ Her voice was harsh and judgemental, as though she already knew the answer but just needed the confirmation.

            Ben looked around before pulling her sharply into a doorway several stores down from their destination. ‘We don’t have time for this, Rey. We have half a galaxy looking for us, and right now my priority is getting us somewhere safe.’ His breaths were coming hard, and his gaze was steely, ‘Where the money comes from is not important at the moment. If you want to shove your morals down my throat, then do it later.’

            ‘Fine.’ She jerked her arm from his grip, knowing that she’d probably have a bruise there by the morning. She knew he was right, and it made her angry to admit it, ‘But I don’t like it.’

            After that it didn’t take them long to get the supplies they still needed. They could use their powers to deter anyone who might be overtly taking an interest in them, but Ben was still uncomfortable for them to be out in public longer than was necessary. Once they’d finished, their provisions including as many dehydrated meals as they could carry since neither had much clue how to cook, Ben directed their speeder towards their new ‘home’.

            He landed outside what looked like a large disused warehouse, built into the never-ending wall that made up the under levels of the city. The metal it had been fashioned from was stained and tarnished, and the door squealed loudly in protest as Ben pushed it to the side and rust rained down on their heads.

            ‘Where are we?’ She asked. Even her old AT-AT seemed as though it would be preferable to this.

            ‘A safehouse I prepared. No one should try and bother us, I doubt they’ll think to look for us in a place like this. If we don’t draw attention to ourselves unnecessarily then we’ll be safe for a while.’ The look he threw in her direction was pointed, and her only reply was a cheeky smirk.

            She walked inside, noting that it wasn’t that much more appealing than the outside had been. It was one huge room, with what she would guess was a refresher through the only other door. The ceilings were high, but with no natural light flooding in, it felt more like a prison cell than a home. The furniture didn’t help her impression, it was sparse to say the least.

            ‘What do you think?’ He asked. She was sure he wouldn’t want to know her answer.

            There was little to look at, though one thing did catch her attention. To her right, the floor changed, going from a drab grey concrete to a large raised platform of wood. It was the only part of the old warehouse that looked even remotely new and inviting. Surrounding the edges of the platform and pushed back against the wall was all manner of training equipment; staves and staffs, basic armour, training dummies and much more.

            They worried her as much as they excited her. Being trapped in such a small space would be difficult for even the most patient of people, and neither her nor Ben were well known for that trait. Adding weapons to the mix didn’t seem like the best idea to her.

            ‘To be honest, right now I’m more worried about us killing each other than being found by anyone. This place doesn’t exactly look like it was built to keep two people caged up in close quarters.’ She answered him honestly.

            His own reply seemed almost cautious, and as she turned to face him she noticed that one of his hands had come up to rub fiercely at the back of his neck. ‘No, well. When I arranged for this place to be made available to me, I wasn’t planning on there being someone else with me if I ever needed to use it. That’s why…’

            He trailed off, his hand motioning to the room around them. She was confused for a moment, before her face began flushing a deep pink as she came to the realisation that the reason the room looked so bare was because it only contained one of everything.

            She ducked her face, trying to hide her rosy cheeks from his view and asking another question in a poor attempt to distract them both, ‘When did you have time to prepare all of this?’

            Her distraction seemed to work though, as his hands dropped to his sides and his eyes glazed over, losing the shine that the fires of his emotions usually kept lit within them.

            ‘After I left Skywalker,’ He began, trying to keep any hint of emotion from his voice and his mind. ‘I went straight to Snoke. I knew he’d always wanted me for my power, but I hadn’t realised just how far his ambition extended. Once I’d learned to adequately shield certain parts of my mind from him, I began building a network of safehouses for myself. I have several such places spread across the galaxy.’

            He looked over to see her expression. She wasn’t judging him or even worse, pitying him, she was just listening to him. It was a relief. Her understanding was appreciated, but her pity would have been too much for his already broken pride to take.

            ‘And you’re certain that no one knows about them?’ She asked.

            ‘If Snoke did manage to learn of them, he never let on that he knew. And he won’t be telling anyone now,’ Ben chuckled darkly to himself. ‘If the First Order had any knowledge of them then we would never have made it through the door. Besides, the credits I’ve been using would be difficult to trace, even if they did know where to begin.’

            ‘Because you stole them from the First Order, who in turn took them from the people they’ve conquered.’ She said matter of factly. He knew enough of her personality by this point to know that she wouldn’t give up the matter until he’d answered her suspicions.

            ‘Some of them.’ He replied honestly. ‘But not so many that they’d be easily traceable.’

            His answer didn’t appear to bother her as much as he thought it would have, especially given the reaction she’d shown outside the store. But he worried that his next admission may not go down so well, ‘Rey, I’m a prince, a prince of what was once a very rich planet. If the decision hadn’t been made for me, one day I would have been king of what was left of the Alderaanian people. I’ve always had wealth follow me wherever I went. That didn’t change when I left to train with Skywalker.’

            He paused to try and gauge her reaction, but both her face and the bond between them were quiet, ‘Does this bother you?’

            She shook her head, vehement in her denial and eager to assuage his fears,  ‘No, I just…forgot who you were before you left your family.’ The difference in their statuses was stark, yet it surprised her how little it concerned her. ‘I’m coming to realise how little titles matter. You’re a prince, I’m a scavenger, yet we’ve both ended up in the same place.’

            ‘As fugitives?’ She nodded in response, and she could feel their bond humming in contentment. He liked it when she remembered how similar they were. Or at least, how similar he thought they were.

\--------------------------------------

            Rey couldn’t sleep.

            The buzz and hum of feeling so many lifeforms surrounding her had started out as something fascinating for her to explore in her mind, the feel of each a one unique thing that she wanted to never forget. Now though, all it was doing was keeping her from falling asleep.

            Ben, of course, had fallen asleep beside her almost instantly, though she supposed that he was used to the feeling of having others around him. They hadn’t spoken so much about his past, but she assumed he’d grown up in cities and planets just like this one and being in the First Order didn’t exactly give one a sense of privacy either.

            ‘No, no… don’t.’ His calls, at first, had been soft, barely audible, but now Rey could hear Ben’s pleas clearly from the other side of the bed. His tossing and turning had not helped with her attempts at sleep, the bed shifting violently beneath her.

            It hadn’t taken them long to organise their sleeping arrangements, with each taking one half of the only bed in the room. It wasn’t ideal, but they’d spent several days now in tight quarters on various different transports, and by this point it seemed almost trivial for them to share such a small space. Or at least that was what Rey kept telling herself as they’d both slipped silently into bed several hours earlier.

            She turned over to see what was disturbing him, propping herself up on one arm. His face was covered in sweat, his hair hanging limply and plastered to his forehead. Occasionally his head would thrash to one side and his arms would jerk, but only slightly, as though attempting to protect himself but completely unable to.

            Whatever it was, she could feel his distress growing inside her own thoughts as his mental barriers became unable to hold back his demons any longer and they began to shatter. He needed to wake up.

            ‘Ben.’ She whispered, but he didn’t respond. She repeated his name, this time a little more loudly, but still there was nothing.

            She reached out to him, trying to move his hair out of his eyes and hoping to wake him gently. But the moment her fingers made contact with his skin, he awoke with a sharp gasp, his hand rushing up to grab her wrist tightly.

            His eyes darted around wildly, and his other hand shifted, almost as though it were reaching for the lightsaber normally attached to his belt. She’d seen him like this before, on their journey to Jakku, but at the time she’d passed it off as a nightmare brought about by the shock of what he’d recently done. But maybe these nightmares were more frequent than she’d originally believed.

            Rey sat silent and motionless, watching him as he slowly returned to his senses. His breathing calmed and the hand not still holding her rose up from his side to rub at his eyes, wishing away the dreams that plagued him.

            It took some time, but eventually she felt it would be okay to break the silence, ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

            ‘No.’ He was used to dealing with his nightmares on his own, and the fact that she’d seen him so weak and vulnerable was already enough to agitate him. What grown man couldn’t control himself to the extent that he was still at the mercy of his memories? It was as though he were a child again.

            But he should have realised that it wasn’t in her nature to just let things go, not when her misplaced belief that she could help everyone reared its ugly head.

            ‘Was it Snoke?’ She asked.

            ‘Not tonight.’

            ‘Then what happened?’ What was with this girl, could she not take a hint? Maybe growing up on that backwater stink hole had made her oblivious to social cues such as knowing when to leave things alone.

            He threw himself back down on the bed in a show of irritation. ‘You know, you do ask a lot of questions. It’s maddening.’

            She chuckled to herself. He must be feeling better if he was back to insulting her as usual. ‘I know, and it won’t get better any time soon I’m afraid.’

            He took the hint that she wasn’t planning to leave him alone until he’d shared his thoughts with her and began. ‘It was Luke. That night he tried to kill me. I see his face above me, and I can’t… I’m helpless against him and I can’t fight back against his power. During the day I can keep the memories at bay, but at night…’ He trailed off.

            Rey nodded solemnly. For all her badgering, she did understand how difficult it must have been for him to share, and that in return he deserved her comfort, no matter how likely it was that he’d fight against it. ‘You know he can’t hurt you here.’

            ‘Of course, I’m not a child who needs to be coddled.’ He replied, resenting the way her words made him feel just a little better.

            But Rey chose not to rise to his taunting, they were just the words of a man who had been badly shaken by his nightmares. Instead, she decided to do the one thing he really hadn’t expected.

            She scooted her body down the bed and pressed herself closely against his side. Her head and one arm came to rest on his chest, and she was glad she couldn’t see the expression of shock that was no doubt on his face. His bare chest radiated heat against her cheek, hints of sweat still remaining on his skin. She closed her eyes, hoping above all things that he wouldn’t push her away.

            He didn’t, though at first neither were able to relax their muscles or calm their minds enough to actually fall asleep. This kind of contact with him wasn’t something new for Rey, after all she had woken up on Ahch-To in the same position against him. The difference was that this time he was conscious too.

            ‘I won’t let anyone hurt you again. I swear.’ She whispered to him. She turned her head and pressed a small kiss to the centre of his chest. Their bond flared with both apprehension and happiness, though neither could tell from which side the feelings originated.

\--------------------------------------

            But by morning, everything had returned to how it was before. Their days continued in much the same pattern, an endless cycle of waking, eating, doing chores, and sleeping. If Ben had any more of his nightmares he certainly didn’t share them with her. She knew that he’d appreciated her efforts to help him, but he was still unused to any human contact that didn’t involve pain. It would take him some time to process this new step in their relationship, and if she was being honest with herself, she appreciated the time apart as well.

            For two people so used to freedom, or at least the twisted version of freedom they’d both had before leaving, being confined did not sit well. Ben had taken to pacing the room for hours on end, rolling his shoulders occasionally when the tension became too much. Whereas Rey had taken to doing whatever she could to ignore his pacing, knowing that telling him how irritating she found it would only spark another argument.

            They rarely left the warehouse, only occasionally doing so to replenish their supplies and take in the atmospheres of the cantina and bars around them. It was only from these visits that they could find out any information about the First Order; with its previous rapid expansion it was a hot topic for the bounty hunters and pilots who frequented such establishments. Yet even these outings were becoming fewer and further between as Ben’s paranoia at being found only grew with his mounting tension.

            After three weeks of the same routine grinding her down and breaking her spirit, Rey had finally had enough.

            ‘I want you to start training me.’

            Ben looked up in surprise from where he’d been meditating on the floor of his practice area. He hated meditating, but the strain of being almost constantly trapped in their warehouse for the past several weeks had taken its toll on him.

            Rey stood up and walked over to him, her body creating a long shadow that grew over him as she moved closer. She took out her lightsaber from where she’d clipped it onto her belt and began bouncing it up and down in her hands. It felt good to hold it again, and if the pulsations it sent to her through the force were anything to go by, the lightsaber was just as happy to be of use again.

            However, upon seeing his grandfather’s lightsaber in her hand and understanding exactly what it was she had planned for them both, Ben’s answer was unequivocal.

            ‘No.’

            Rey’s mouth fell open, ‘What?’ She really hadn’t expected that response.

            ‘What happened to wanting to be my teacher. You were determined on Starkiller, and now that I’m the one to suggest actually do something about my training, you say no!’ She shouted in astonishment.

            ‘Exactly. Besides, I thought you had been training.’ In her free time Rey had been practicing some of the skills she’d learned on Jakku, she knew that with the First Order following them it was a good idea not to allow herself to be complacent. Ben had thought it to be a good idea, and the only reason he hadn’t joined her was because he hadn’t wanted to encourage her and cause himself an awkward conversation. A conversation it seemed he was going to have regardless of his caution.

            ‘By myself, yes. But it’s not the same as having someone who knows how to handle a lightsaber and can point out your mistakes’ Rey replied.

            She could sense his reluctance, and it pleased her to know that even with a lack of training she was becoming much more adept at picking out and interpreting his moods and feelings, seeing as they were her constant companions.

            And so, when she spoke, it wasn’t a question, but a statement of exactly how she knew he felt about her training, ‘You don’t want to train me with a lightsaber.’

            Ben sighed in response, rubbing at his forehead as though she were a headache he needed to get rid of, ‘You’re asking me to train you because you’re bored, and you’re tense. You hate being cooped up here.’

            He spoke to her like a child, and her response was sullen. It didn’t help her case, but it certainly made her feel better.

            ‘You know I don’t like you reading my thoughts.’

            His response was terse, ‘I know you feel like that because I feel the same, not because I’m inside your head. Do you really think that us fighting is the best idea? Are you in the right frame of mind right now to control yourself? Just look at yourself.’

            She looked down at herself and saw exactly what it was he meant. Her whole body was stood tense and rigid in its position in front of him. Her hands were clenched, one tightly wrapped around her lightsaber and the other grabbing her thigh tightly in an unconscious attempt to keep her emotions from boiling over. She took a small breath and hoped he wouldn’t notice when she allowed herself to relax a little. It was too embarrassing when he was right.

            When she spoke, her voice was quiet, knowing that she probably wouldn’t be able to convince him now, ‘I think it could help relieve some of the stress.’

            ‘And cause some serious injuries.’ He responded quickly.

            She considered his position. Maybe them just going at it with lightsabers wasn’t the best idea, but that didn’t mean that they needed to sit at opposite ends of the room doing everything they could to avoid provoking each other. She wanted to find a way for them to communicate, and he seemed to prefer that the method she chose was peaceful.

            ‘Then how about you teach me some less… violent techniques. Luke wasn’t able to teach me much before I left him, but you can.’ She suggested.

            She could tell he was curious, her proposition had clearly peaked his interest, ‘And what exactly did you have in mind?’

            A smile grew on her face, she had him. ‘You know, meditation, controlling things…’ Her mind went blank, and it scrambled for something, anything, ‘…floating rocks, that kind of thing.’

            ‘Floating rocks?’ Now he was the one smiling.

            ‘You know what I mean!’ She said, clearly exasperated with both him and her mind’s inability to speak basic in any way more complex than a child. ‘Is that a yes or a no?’

            He sighed. ‘Sit down in front of me, facing me, and cross your legs.’

            She did as he instructed, noting that his seeming aloofness and attitude to training her reminded her a lot of his uncle. But she would keep the comparison to herself, he wouldn’t appreciate hearing it.

            ‘Close your eyes.’ He said calmly.

            ‘Now, reach out…’

\--------------------------------------

            Their uneasy truce lasted a week.

            ‘That’s it, I’m done. Take out your lightsaber.’ Ben said suddenly one day.

            Rey had been sitting on the floor against the bed, flicking through yet more news stories on her holopad. She’d read them before, but it’d been preferable to speaking to Ben. She’d felt his tension growing over the bond for days, and she’d purposely been staying out of his way in case he broke. Now she could feel that it had reached its peak.

            ‘What?’ She asked, both surprised at the abruptness of his request and yet unsurprised that it had come to this. He was pacing in front of where she sat, like a predator stalking its prey, and it struck her how much their positions had reversed over the week.

            ‘I’m done with this. We’re both going crazy being locked up here, and if we don’t do something to address this situation then one of us is going to crack.’ He growled.

            Part of her agreed with him, but with how he’d made her beg for training, she wasn’t going to let him off that easily.

            ‘I’m sorry, but what was it you said? _I won’t train you with a lightsaber just so you can let off some steam.’_ She’d tried to imitate his voice, but the attempt just left her coughing and spluttering by the end, her vocal chords unused to making such a deep sound.

            But he was too wound up to be amused by her attempts at levity, ‘While normally I would stand by that, I think we both need something a bit more stimulating than… floating rocks. If we don’t do something soon then I worry we’re going to do more damage to one another than a few training scars.’

            ‘So, you mean fighting?’ She asked.

            ‘Sparring.’

            He looked her in the eyes. Maybe if he was able to convince himself that this actually _was_ training, he wouldn’t feel so guilty at giving into the temptation of fighting her to release some of the pressure in his mind.

            She chose to ignore his correction, ‘I may hate you Ben, but I’m not going to fight you.’

            She wished she could take back the words as soon as they’d left her mouth. This was what he was worried about, the wounds he knew they’d inflict that were _worse than training scars_. His body stiffened, and his response was almost beseeching, ‘You don’t hate me.’

            She was silent for a moment, guilt washing over her in waves, before replying quietly, ‘No. But I still won’t fight you.’

            Rey saw his point, she’d made the same arguments days before, but something felt different now. She looked away from him, hoping it would put an end to the conversation.

            The crackle of his lightsaber filled the air and she couldn’t help herself. She rose to his challenge.

            Their fighting styles were similar, even if Rey’s was a much rougher version of that of her partner. She’d picked up a lot of her knowledge from her short time in Ben’s mind on Starkiller, unintentionally absorbing parts of his training and augmenting them with her own fighting techniques learned on Jakku.

            They were well matched in the beginning. When he struck out at her with his superior strength, she found it difficult to parry, but her own blows were landing perfectly. His large form made him an easier target to strike against, and it was taking much of his concentration to defend against her attacks when they came.

            But as the fight went on, it was clear that the tides were turning in his favour. The anger and frustration of being on the defensive mingled with dark memories of his defeat on Starkiller. The humiliation he’d felt and was still feeling fuelled his rage, which in turn fuelled his powers. He was acting on instinct now, his moves coming before he even had the chance to think about them. This was the power of the darkness, channelled through him, and he had become merely a vessel of its will.

            He landed blow after blow against her saber but she was just as stubborn as him, hated defeat as much as he did, and she refused to give up yet. If only she could centre herself, focus and channel her energies…

            And in her moment of weakness, with him lost in the heat of the fight, the darkness inside of him took its chance to strike.

            His mind threw itself into hers, dark tendrils reaching deep inside and latching on tightly. The pain was secondary to her emotional turmoil as they sought out any darkness they could find and dragged it violently to the surface. Snatches of memories and thoughts she’d hidden away rose unbidden inside of her, and her heart felt as though it was shattering with every single one she was forced to relive.

            Her knees buckled beneath her and she fell to the floor, hands clutching at the sides of her head. She screamed, her eyes squeezed closed as though desperate not to see the images flashing through her mind, and it was this that finally made Ben realise what he’d done to her.

            He instantly drew back, his face a mix of shock and horror. It took Rey some time to realise that the grip on her mind had disappeared, but when it did her instincts kicked in and she scrabbled back across the floor from him. She continued until her back hit the wall and she couldn’t move any further, but even then, her nails began clawing at the walls, desperately searching for a way out.

            ‘Rey.’ She could sense his intentions.

            ‘NO!’ She screamed at him. ‘Don’t come near me!’

            His eyes flashed wildly, barely able to believe what he’d done.

            ‘Rey, I…’

            Impulse made him take a step towards her, hand outstretched to her as it had been in Snoke’s throne room. But this time, she didn’t take it. A sharp fear drew across her as she saw him come closer and her instincts kicked into overdrive. She got to her feet, still shaken from their fight, and ran straight past him, making sure that her body didn’t brush up against his as she did so. She wanted no part of him to remain on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.   
> As always, thanks to everyone who’s commented and given kudos. It means the world to me!  
> This chapter hasn’t really gone the way I wanted it to, it’s been an incredibly rough week for me and the story just wouldn’t behave! Saying that, I felt I needed to get it to a certain point for chapter 9, which is going to be a big chapter for Rey especially.  
> Let me know what you think, comments are love!


	8. Growing Suspicions

Present Day...

            Leia was exhausted.

            She eased herself down onto her bunk in her rooms on the Resistance base _,_ her older body weary and tired of the endless fighting. The politics. The war.

            She’d spent the last several days holding herself together, knowing that her raging emotions were not what were needed during their negotiations. But just seeing her son again, it had affected her much more than she’d ever admit to anyone.

            It had been more than fifteen years since they’d last been close enough to each other to speak. Even longer if you only counted the times when their conversations hadn’t simply devolved into angry shouting and resentful looks.

            He’d grown up. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to her, but it was. And it saddened her so much to know that she’d missed it all, and she had no one to blame for it but herself.

            Ben had always been tall, even as a child, but now it seemed that he was more confident, more comfortable in his own body. His facial features, they were so much like his father’s. With Anakin as well, it was clear that the distinctive Solo looks were being passed down through the generations. His hair at least hadn’t changed, still black as night and unruly and unmanageable. She supposed it reflected his personality well.

            Leia knew what he’d done, had seen first-hand the devastation and misery he’d brought to millions of people under the instruction of Snoke and with the might of the First Order behind him. He’d killed his own father, and who knew how many others out of some sort of twisted need to prove himself. Though even without this, the threats, and the aggression he showed towards her alone would have given her enough of a view of the man he’d been as Kylo Ren. Yet somehow now, something about him felt different.

            She supposed it was because he had something to fight for now, something to protect. Her son had a _family_. And she hoped more than anything that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes she’d made, that he wouldn’t do anything to push them away.

            And as for her? She was going to do whatever it took to make up for the past. In spite of everything that had happened between them, she would do anything to protect him and the life he’d created for himself. She would never stop.

            And he would never find out what she’d already done for him.

            The First Order had already found information of Ben and Rey’s location before they’d had the chance to leave Nocoma, and they’d been heading directly towards the planet. Without her intervention, it would have been a massacre. But by providing them with coordinates that were just slightly off, the First Order had jumped out of hyperspace at the wrong location, giving Ben and Rey more time to get themselves safely away. Better that they face a few scouting TIE fighters leading the convoy than the full destructive capabilities of a destroyer.

            No. He didn’t need to know the true reason she’d contacted the First Order, he never would have believed her anyway and Rey would have been unlikely to stand up for her. The girl’s allegiance was to Ben, not Leia or the Resistance. The burden of knowing how much he hated her for the act would be hers to carry alone.

            It wasn’t even all she’d done, and it was nowhere near the worst thing, but those were worries for Luke to deal with. If she were to do anything to cause Ben to find out what she’d done, then she’d no doubt be dead long before she had a chance to stop him.

            But she did not feel fear, only contentment. The contentment that came with knowing her son had finally found a purpose and a cause to give his life for, just as she had as a young woman, and Leia began to fall gently to sleep. Maybe mother and son were more alike than either would ever say aloud.

\---------------------------------------

            ‘Something’s going on.’ Rey suddenly burst out, as though she’d been bottling the words inside her for hours.

            And in truth, she probably had been. Once they’d gotten back on the ship, she’d been so happy, she was projecting so much he probably would have felt her from the other side of the galaxy. But all too quickly, her good mood had disappeared. She’d huddled up next to Anakin on the bunk at the back of the ship, stroking the sleeping child’s back softly but making no move to speak or interact with him.

            It took him a moment to recover and process what she’d just said, ‘What, with the Resistance?’ Ben was surprised that Rey had sensed some deception from them in the clearing when he had not, especially given that he’d been much more on guard than her.

            But she shook her head in his direction, ‘No Ben. With you.’

            Where were her accusations coming from? Since his plan had begun to form in his head, he’d been unusually concerned about her sensing the details of it in his head, paranoia seeping in and causing him to lock her out increasingly often. So, what had made her suspect him of something?

            ‘When I agreed to us helping the Resistance, I turned and saw you smiling. For all your arguments against them when we were on Nocoma, the moment I make a decision you start smiling.’ She said accusingly her voice getting louder with each word.

            Ben’s mind worked quickly to come up with a good excuse for his actions, but the reply he managed was poor to say the least.

            ‘And why wouldn’t I be smiling? You got what you wanted.’

            ‘Don’t lie to me! We both know you’re not that nice.’ She shouted at him, jumping off the bed in irritation at his ridiculous answer, ‘What is this really about Ben? Did you want the texts, is that it? Because I’ve seen them and from what I remember from Starkiller, you can just take what you want straight from my head.’

            As always, her reaction to being frustrated with him lead to her saying something that, were the tables reversed, she would not forgive easily. It was an instinct she’d spent years trying, and failing, to stop.

            ‘You know I’d never do that again.’ He said, sounding defeated.

            ‘No.’ She sighed, ‘But I need you swear to me there’s nothing going on. That you haven’t formed some insane plan that could actually get us killed.’

            ‘I swear.’ He said, his voice even and calm. She barely reacted to his words this time, she was sure he was still lying to her.

            ‘Look at me.’ He said, and she turned her face upwards, towards his. He took her hands into his, rubbing his thumbs across the backs of her knuckles and staring down at them as he spoke. He was still so uncomfortable with expressing his emotions openly, ‘Today I expected that we would enter a meeting dominated by that woman’s demands, her attempts to guilt us into helping her and her pathetic Resistance. And she did try. She even tried to take Anakin with her. But you held firm. You were magnificent today; you were strong and determined and I was able to witness that. That’s the only reason I had today to be anything even resembling happy. You.’

            She nodded, and he seemed to accept her muted response as a sign of her belief. But she’d noted that he hadn’t looked her in the eye as he’d said it, and the composure with which he’d said the words only put her further on edge. Her Ben would have been affronted by her demands, as much as he would try to hide it, and through his passionate words his simmering rage would still be prickling at the back of her mind.

            As Ben walked away from her and back into the cockpit, Rey hurried to the back end of the ship, as far away from him as she could go. She looked around to be certain he’d left her alone and pulled a communicator from her pocket. She’d only been given one frequency to try and she hoped beyond anything that it would work.

            There was no answer for a short time, her panic rising with every second that passed, but eventually the faint crackle of static bled through the line.

            ‘Rey?’ Finn’s voice sounded worried. When he’d given her the communicator he’d told her it was for _just in case_. He certainly hadn’t expected to hear from her so soon.

            ‘Rey, what’s happened?’ He asked seriously.

            ‘Nothing,’ she spoke quietly, determined not to catch Ben’s attention. ‘It’s just… Finn, I know I have no right to ask this of you, but I need your help.’

\---------------------------------------

            The ship landed on the outskirts of the capital city of the planet Bakura, Salis D’aar. The city itself was designed like the spokes of a wheel, concentric circles spreading out from the centre with roads bisecting them. Each of the three districts of the city was colour coded, and it was to the deep red industrial centre that Ben and Rey headed.

            The streets there were quieter than they were in the other areas of the city, with the wet and wild weather system of the planet forcing most of the factory workers inside for long periods of time. Few people lived in the district, only those who didn’t want to be easily found.

            They arrived at a house they had visited numerous times before, situated at the very end of a quiet side street. It was shadowed by the larger buildings surrounding it, and pushed back from the road, making it almost invisible to anyone who didn’t already know it was there. They rapped three times on the door, and it opened.

            Syndal’s old, wrinkled face popped out and towards them. They looked as though they’d been heavily battered by the weather, thick cloaks wrapped tightly around themselves, and she leaned out further to glance up the street to make sure that no one else was around. She knew the two-people stood before her would have checked, but she’d not survived so long by relying on others judgements of what was safe and what wasn’t.

            She turned back to them, ‘Well, come on in then.’ She said brusquely.

            They followed her through, though they already knew the layout of the home intimately and didn’t need her as a guide. It had been Ben who’d purchased the home for Syndal as a show of appreciation for her help during a difficult time, and so that she could finally leave Jakku. She’d been extremely reluctant at first, determined not to leave a planet that afforded her such privacy and anonymity. But she did eventually relent, finding that she’d grown close to their child and that they had been unwilling to travel with him to Jakku to visit her.

            Once they were safely inside with the door firmly closed behind them, Ben opened his cloak, revealing the little boy curled up in his arms.

            Anakin’s face lit up when he saw the old woman stood in front of him, and he reached out to her, grasping at the air in a concerted effort to use his force powers on her to bring her closer. She felt a small tug at her middle and she couldn’t help but smile in return. The boy would be a powerful force wielder one day.

            Ben handed him over to her, and as she settled him in her arms Anakin began babbling at her, unable yet to speak, and grabbing at her hair with his hands. He was getting spittle everywhere, but she didn’t mind at all.

            Gradually, she became aware of Rey coughing, trying to get her attention as politely as possible. It must have been important if they wanted to get straight down to business, they usually allowed her more time to greet the child.

            The couple had explained most of what they needed from her through their communicator, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still want some answers from them.

            ‘So, what’s this mission you’ve got going on?’ No one could ever accuse her of not being straightforward.

            ‘We can’t tell you.’ Rey said quietly.

            Syndal sucked her tongue against her teeth, making a small _tsk_ sound of disapproval. Evasive behaviour did not sit well with her. ‘Okay, then how long will you be gone?’

            ‘We don’t know.’ Rey said. She felt like a child about to be scolded by a parent, knowing from personal experience how scathing Syndal’s words could be when she became irritated enough.

            ‘Well, at least you’re not being vague with me.’ She replied sarcastically.

            ‘Syn, we’re sorry for dropping this on you, but there’s no one else we can trust. We can’t have the First Order or the Resistance anyone near him and we need someone who can protect him if it comes to it.’

            Syndal backed down, realising that she was being harsh with them. She understood their desperation, their willingness to leave him for an as yet undetermined amount of time was enough to show her how serious things had become. They would never leave if they felt there was another choice.

            She straightened her back, determination filling her bones. ‘Right, well then I guess there’s nothing else for it.’

            ‘Thank you.’ Ben said solemnly.

            A silence descended over the room, broken only by Anakin’s constant happy noises. He was surrounded by the familiar force signatures of his family and nothing made the boy happier than feeling those comforting presences around him.

            Rey looked up at Ben beseechingly, begging with her eyes for just a little more time with their son before they had to leave. She knew that if she wanted to, she could just tell him that they were staying for a while and he would go along with her decision. But she needed him to be strong for the both of them, and to make sure that her emotions didn’t spill over into irrational actions.

            He gave her a small nod and she ran to her son, planning to make the most of every second she had with him before they needed to leave. But time seemed to fly with Anakin in her arms again, and soon their time was up. Ben placed his hand on Rey’s back and leant in close.

            ‘Rey.’ He said quietly.

            She stood from where she’d been playing with him on the floor, and shook her head, hoping to get rid of some of the tears that were building in her eyes.

            ‘I know, I know, I’m just being silly.’ She said, hoping that by saying it aloud she could convince herself that her words were true. But it didn’t stop the choked sob that forced its way up her throat.

            He pressed his lips to her forehead and wrapped his arm around her waist. She was still angry at him for his secrecy, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore because she needed him. He surrounded her like a comforting blanket and not for the first time, she was truly grateful for his strength. She knew that he felt the same way about leaving their son behind, but he was forcing himself to be strong for her sake.

            ‘We’ll be back for him, I promise.’ He whispered against her, his lips brushing across her temple. She nodded in return, worried that if she were to speak, she wouldn’t be able to hold back her emotions.

            Instead, she moved closer to where Syndal was standing with Anakin in her arms and stroked her the backs of her fingers down her son’s soft cheek. He laughed happily in response, and it just made it that much harder for her to leave him.

            She looked at Syndal with a face full of pain and anguish, before grasping the other woman’s hand in her own, squeezing it tightly and hoping that Ben couldn’t see the note that passed between them. When she pulled away, she could see the confusion in her eyes, but Rey couldn’t say anything whilst her partner was nearby. Rey hoped that the note alone would be enough of an explanation.

            She wrenched herself away, practically running to the door. She couldn’t look back at Anakin now, if she did she knew she’d never be able to leave. Ben followed her out into the rain, hoping that the darkness surrounding them would hide the tears in his own eyes.

            A while later, once Syndal was certain that their ship had passed through the atmosphere and wouldn’t be returning, she opened the note.

_If anything happens, these are the coordinates for a friend. Take Anakin there. He’ll be safe._

            Underneath the writing were the coordinates of someplace far away, as well as a communicator frequency code. Rey had gone a long way to keep her son safe, though with how secretive she’d been handing her the note, Syndal wasn’t sure who she was trying to protect the boy from most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Man, some of your comments really made me laugh hard this time, you guys are the best!  
> Just a short update for you, but I’ve been typing all day, so you get it early. Hopefully some of the things that happen will have you on the edges of your seats for all the inevitable angst that’s yet to come.  
> As always, please let me know what you think!


	9. FB: Cage of Their Own Making (Part 2)

2 years, 11 months earlier…

            Rey used all her strength to force open the large metal door and ran out of the warehouse, refusing to look back. She jumped into the speeder, and immediately raced off into the lights of the undercity. As she cut across several lanes of traffic, she heard the horns and the curses of the other drivers, but she neither apologised nor slowed down. She just needed to get as far away as she could.

            The wind blew through her hair as she flew, her elbow on the door and her head resting in her hand. She wanted to be able to quiet her mind for a while, but her head was screaming. The pain was still there, a dull thumping at the base of her skull, and the thoughts he’d dragged up within her wouldn’t leave her alone.

            Whatever it was he’d done to her, she knew it hadn’t been intentional. She’d seen the shock and fear she’d felt mirrored on his own face, his ever-expressive eyes giving away just how devastated he was that he’d hurt her.

            But if anything, that made his betrayal worse. The darkness ran through his veins like blood. She’d always known that it had a hold on him, but how could she ever have known that it was so strong. That it had become such a fundamental part of his being he could access its strength without even realising and release it with such force.

            When he’d offered her his hand in the throne room, he’d seen her as some sort of salvation, a chance to have someone with him who truly understood every side of him. But how could she understand a darkness like that?

            And when she’d accepted that hand, she’d felt the same longing as he did for love and acceptance, but she’d also seen him as something to be fixed. A man who had the potential for the light side but just needed the incentive to turn. Could a man with the darkness so deeply rooted within him ever truly turn to the light?

            She drove around for a while, hoping in vain that the lights and the noise would drown out just some of her thoughts, before eventually coming to a stop on the ledge of a crumbling old building overlooking a trash site She could occasionally hear the dull thud of the nearby cannons firing the trash off into space, and the rhythmic thumping was comforting. Hopefully no one would find her here.

            In the morning she’d get herself organised and start making decisions. She’d sell the speeder, use the money to buy anything she needed and get a room for as long as she could. Then she would make a plan. But for now, all she wanted to do was to sleep.

            She jumped into the back, laying on her side across the seats, and was trying to settle when something caught her eye. It was a large piece of black fabric, half tucked under the seat in front of her, and she tugged on it to pull it out.

            It was Ben’s cloak. She moved without thinking, pushing the fabric up against her face and breathing in his scent. Tears filled her eyes, and she couldn’t help the quiet sobs that escaped her. Her mind had spent the last few hours going over and over what had happened and what it now meant for Ben and his chances of redemption. But in all that time, there had been something she hadn’t allowed herself to think on, and that was how his actions affected her, how badly he’d _hurt_ her.

            Since she’d left with him, there had been moments when she’d been infuriated by his behaviour or frustrated by his lack of ability to empathise with her. And with his emotions also a constant presence in her mind, she knew that he too spent a lot of his time tamping down his own dark thoughts.

            But through everything, she never once thought that he’d hurt her. It was different now to how it had been on Starkiller, they had a connection that bound them to each other and she’d come to believe that it had in some way changed him. Only now she wasn’t so certain.

            She felt his presence begin to shift in her head, tentatively pressing against her walls and searching out an entrance. He wanted to speak with her, wanted to feel her mind joined with his, but just the prospect of letting him again made her heart quicken in fear. Rey knew now what he could do to her when, not if, he lost control, and she wasn’t ready to let him back in. She wasn’t sure she ever would be, so for now she just tightened her defences, knowing that he could destroy them easily if he wanted to yet hoping he wouldn’t.

            And the galaxy suddenly became much colder, her emotions much less vibrant as she cut his mind off completely from her own.

\-----------------------------------------

            After finding somewhere to stay, it took Rey several days to build up the strength to go outside and into the city.

            And as she headed into the market district, what hit her first was that, even in the upper levels, the noise was overwhelming, the press of bodies crushing and cloying. Vendors would step into her path, thrusting their wares into her face and pronounce loudly that they had _come from the farthest reaches of the galaxy_ and were so very _cheap_ and that she just _had to buy them_!

            And she would smile at them politely in return from under the shadow of her hood, before quickly moving on through the crowd. The fabrics they showed her were dazzling colours, and their trinkets were gold and silver and glinted when they moved. Yet nothing was as exciting to her as it had been only days before.

            When they’d first arrived there, the city had seemed so incredible. Hell, it still was. But now it was as though she was looking at it through a window, her feelings muted and dull.

            But whenever there was a crack of light that managed to fight its way through and penetrate the mass of buildings and stalls and people, she’d turn her head out towards it. She’d spent her life in the sun, then the last few weeks hidden in the shadows, and it felt right to be outside again. Her emotions might not be what they were before she’d cut herself off from the bond, but at least now she was free.

            And every time she looked out, there was one building that continually caught her attention. It was enormous, putting Maz’s castle to shame and making it look more like a small home than the fortress it had been. It also looked intimidating against the smaller structures that surrounded it, yet something was pulling her towards the old building. It was a voice, one that seemed at once both familiar and not.

            She made her way towards it, and as she did, the crowds began to thin out, as though the building itself was forcing them away. But it was easy to see why they wouldn’t want to approach.

            From the outside, the high walls looked dingy and unwashed, where it was obvious they had once gleamed in the sunlight. The grass in front of it was freshly cut, yet the statues that had adorned the steps leading up to the building had been left smashed, even if the rubble had been cleared up.

            The voice was calling her in, a whisper in her mind, and she scanned the outside carefully. Every now and again a guard would make their rounds, diligent enough in their watch that she would need to time her entrance well and remain cautious, but not so much that it would deter her at all.

            She continued her watch for a few more hours, wanting to be certain that she wouldn’t be spotted, then dashed towards one of the smaller side entrances.

            It was dark inside, and walking through the corridors, she couldn’t help but notice that the building felt… almost sad. The ceilings vaulted up so high, but the banners that had once draped down the walls were faded and torn, blaster holes burned through in some places. The fountains that were dotted throughout all the open spaces were destroyed and dust motes floated gracefully in the air. It was a space that was desperate to have a purpose again.

            She continued through, pushed along by that mystery voice, until she came to a spiral staircase which seemed to go on forever. The steps were rotting in places and she climbed them slowly, careful to avoid the spots where the stone had completely vanished and left a clear view of the drop below. When she eventually reached the top, she found a large, round room. It was covered in dirt and grime, just like the rest of the building, and the only piece of furniture was a circular table in the centre that looked as though someone had once gone to great efforts to try and destroy.

            Rey walked over to the far side of the window that ran around the entire edge of the room and swiped a finger through the dust. It came away easily, and through the gap she caught a glimpse of the city around her. It appeared just as it had the first time she’d seen it from their ship, a world always on the move.

            But from her vantage point, she could also see the many huge courtyards below, previously hidden from view by the high outer walls. Time and war had turned them to ruins, large ragged holes punctured the walls and crumbling rocks littered the ground. But the power that still emanated from the entire place was incredible, as though the force presence of every being in the system was converging on one point.

            She threw her head back, closing her eyes and feeling the force swell and move over her, like the ocean washing over the shore. She could feel Ben out there, normally a bright, shooting flame but now somewhat dulled by her refusal to let him in.

            ‘I’ve been waiting for you.’

            She spun around at the unexpected noise, assuming the deep voice behind her would belong to a guard or some other official planning to force her out, and dipped her body low into a defensive position. But she was wrong.

            A man stood by the entrance on the opposite side of the room, his form pale blue and unfocused. He looked young, tall with messy hair running down past his ears and a scar crossing his eye, so like Ben in appearance but not in countenance. Where Ben was like a coiled spring, always on edge, this man seemed calm and at peace with the world around him. She’d never seen anything like it before.

            ‘Who are you?’ She breathed out, unsure whether she should stay or try and run, despite the man blocking the only exit.

            But she could feel that her question made him sad, his shoulders slumping almost imperceptibly at both it and the answer he had to give, ‘No one. Someone who should be long forgotten.’

            ‘Then why are you here?’ His answer didn’t put her off, rather it was only making her more curious.

            ‘Because you were calling out for my help. Your presence in the force is strong, young one, and your distress would have been difficult to ignore.’

            Rey didn’t like the idea of someone else being able to sense her emotions, it was bad enough that Ben could do it so easily, but this was just some random stranger. Her brows furrowed, considering his answers, until she saw something that should have noticed right from the beginning.

            ‘You’re a Jedi?’ She asked. His flowing robes and the lightsaber barely peeking out from beneath them gave him away as easily as his force signature and the light that surrounded him.

            ‘I was. A long time ago.’

            It was overwhelming, even knowing everything she now knew about the force and what its users could do, ‘Fuck. This shouldn’t be possible.’

            ‘Yes, and yet here I am.’ He said with a small smile on his face, ‘When we pass on, we become one with the force. For those who have studied the technique, it is possible to return for a time.’

            ‘But I’ve needed help for a long time. I’ve spent my whole life begging someone to help me. So why are you only coming to me now?’ Her tone had turned from confused to accusatory. Who was this man to say she needed help? Who was he to just appear in her life?

            But her ire didn’t bother him, and he continued, ‘It takes great strength to appear in this form. It’s something we can only do in places where the force is at its strongest and it’s why I called you here.’

            ‘Here?’ She asked.

            ‘Most know it is as the Imperial Palace, it was the centre of the galaxy for many years and a point where the dark side of the force could converge. But to me it is the Jedi Temple, though I doubt it has been called that in many years. People’s memories are short, especially when change comes so often and without warning.’

            The man was similar to Master Luke in every way that had irritated her on Ahch-To. Why couldn’t Jedi ever just come out and say what it was they meant? They danced around the truth, treating it as some ever-shifting thing, never a constant. Ben did the same thing on occasion, his own training leaking out through his words.

            ‘So, you’re here to give me answers, to impart some ancient Jedi wisdom? Good. I could really use some of that right now. Give me all you’ve got.’ She couldn’t keep the sarcasm from her voice, and moved to sit cross legged on the floor, a position she’d come to associate with being taught some new Jedi technique due to Luke and Ben’s training.

            The man couldn’t help the wry smile that broke out on his face, a smile that felt so familiar to Rey. Her head tilted, and she examined him closely, but she just couldn’t put her finger on what was bothering her.

            ‘Sadly no. The answers you seek cannot be attained from simply asking others. I’m here to point you in the right direction, but ultimately you will only find what you seek when you look within yourself. It’s a lesson you will spend your life trying to learn.’

            ‘And what if I search and search but still can’t find an answer?’

            The man seemed pleased with her, like a teacher taking pride in their students. Now she was asking him the right questions. ‘That’s when you learn to place your trust in the force. It surrounds us, and it guides us.’

            She huffed loudly, looking down at the ground and drawing small patterns in the dust she found there. ‘I know why you’re here. You want me to return to him. Even though he’s arrogant and cruel and impulsive and such a… a child!’

            The man rolled his eyes. He hoped that he hadn’t been this obstinate when he was younger, but based on his own mentors many, many words, he knew he’d been just as bad, if not worse. ‘A trait found too often in those with Skywalker blood unfortunately. But that’s not really what this is about is it?’

            Her whole demeanour changed suddenly, as though a switch had been flipped in her mind. She shrugged, trying to act as though it didn’t bother her, but the man before her knew that this was the true reason she had called out to him. ‘The darkness runs so deeply in him. When we were fighting, it was like it was controlling him.’

            There was a long silence before the man spoke. ‘The boy is unbalanced, that is true. But running away from everything with you couldn’t have been easy. Have you considered that maybe this is just one step on a much longer journey?’

            ‘But he killed Snoke!’ She’d been going over this over and over for days and threw up her arms in exasperation. ‘In that moment he made a decision to turn away from the darkness, he could have come to the light. Why does he run away from it? And why does the dark side still have such a strong hold on him?’

            ‘Turning from the darkness is not the same as embracing the light. You know him better than anyone in the galaxy, search your feelings for the answers.’

            She closed her eyes and lifted her head to the ceiling, thinking of Ben and everything she knew of him. It was difficult to locate him now, and even more so to find that spark of light that still existed within him. It burned, a small flame yet so very bright. It was fenced in by his darkness, a darkness that was forever trying to extinguish the flame, but she wasn’t afraid. She knew that it would never succeed.

            Just as the light would never succeed in chasing out the shadows.

            Her response was something she hadn’t expected, a revelation only she could have found. ‘He will never turn to the light, he doesn’t have it within him to become a light force user.’

            ‘And maybe he isn’t the only one?’

            In her dazed state, it took a moment to process the meaning behind his words, but when she did her face twisted in fury. She threw herself to her feet, marching towards the ghost. ‘We are nothing alike! I would never do what he did. Any of it! He killed his father, he’s murdered so many for no reason other than his desire to erase the past and prove himself.’

            ‘In your anger you’ve never felt the same? You’ve never felt the need for revenge?’ He questioned.

            Rey’s mouth snapped closed, and her mind was transported back to Starkiller. Having Ben at her mercy with the Skywalker lightsaber at his throat, her pacing heavily in front of him like a predator before their prey. There was a moment when she had wanted to strike him down, kill him in the same way he’d killed Han.

            His voice brought her back from her thoughts. ‘It is natural to feel these things, the passion and the anger, just as it is natural to feel peace and compassion. It was the Jedi and the Sith who forgot this, and their legacies and ideals continue to infect a new generation with you and the Solo boy. But all that defines us are our actions. He has chosen his path by leaving to be with you. He may stumble on the way to finding true balance, but he has chosen to try. Now you need to choose if you will stand beside him and help him on his journey or leave to find your own path.’

            Thinking about Ben so much after everything that had happened was difficult. One minute she was sad, then angry, then sad again, and after days of her own feelings being dulled, it was starting to get to her. This man, whoever he was, was exhausting, and Rey wasn’t sure she had the energy to fight him anymore. ‘I don’t think I even have a choice anymore. This bond we have took away any say we could have in the matter.’

            ‘That’s not true. It will be difficult to shut off the bond, and painful to keep it closed, but if you truly believed that it would hurt more to return to him…’ The end of his sentence was left unspoken, hanging in the air between them and weighing it down.

            She was in a situation that she’d never imagined she could be in, where closing their bond and severing a part of herself may actually be the better of the two options presented to her. But that would be something to consider later, when her head was a little clearer and her emotions a little less volatile. For now, had one last question she needed to ask him.

            ‘Why didn’t you help Ben? Instead of me, I mean.’

            The man’s expression became visibly pained, and Rey had no doubt in her mind that if he could have, he would have gone to Ben a long time ago.

            ‘Because he has spent years believing that he did not need help, or at least not from me. And now…’ His words were measured, and he considered whether it would be better not to tell her, not to confuse her. But ultimately, it was information she needed to know, ‘Now when he calls out for help, he calls out for you.’

            She nodded solemnly, and her voice was quiet when she replied, ‘I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what choice to make.’

            ‘We rarely do.’

\-----------------------------------------

            Rey sat in the middle of the bed in her small room, knees pulled up and her arms encircling them, the communicator held in shaky hands in front of her. She’d been putting this off now for days, worried about the response she’d get from the other end, but now she felt like she had nowhere else to turn.

            She considered what she was doing. Ben would hate her if he knew she’d contacted the Resistance, but at that moment she didn’t care. She needed to hear a familiar voice, one that she doubted could ever hurt her in any way like he had.

            Before she’d left, Leia had given her a spare communicator and a frequency code, promising to give another to Finn. It wasn’t encrypted, as the binary beacon was, but it was something.

            She input the code, and barely had time to think before Finn’s voice came through.

            ‘Rey? Rey, is that you?’

            She dipped her head low and pressed the communicator to it, tears appearing in her eyes. A wave of happiness washed over her at the sound of him, between training with Luke and running away with Ben, she hadn’t seen him in well over a month. She took a moment to compose herself.

            ‘Rey? If you’re there, please. Just speak to me.’ He was pleading with her, and it broke her heart to know he missed her as much as she did him.

            ‘I’m…’ She swallowed back the tears and the sadness that accompanied her joy, ‘I’m here Finn.’

            ‘Oh, thank the stars.’ He sounded so relieved. Had anyone cared about her this much before? ‘Are you okay? Where are you?’

            ‘I’m fine. How are you, last time I saw you, you were…’ Memories assaulted her of when they’d last been together. He’d been forced into a coma on the Resistance base, his back sliced by a lightsaber right up the middle. She realised that this was one of the memories that Ben had brought up within her that night, and she couldn’t help the shivers that raced through her. It made her feel nauseous to think about, but she forced herself to swallow it down and continue. ‘You weren’t doing so well.’

            ‘I’m alive, and I have a cool scar to show for my efforts, something else I’ll have to pay Ren back for one day. But the upside is that Poe says it makes me look very brave and manly.’ He replied.

            ‘Poe?’

            His voice noticeably brightened, ‘Oh, he’s a friend.’

            The line went silent; it was painful to hear him speak of his new life when she wasn’t around to see everything with him. She’d wanted so badly to be there when he got to experience a life of freedom for the first time. There was a galaxy to see and they were supposed to do it all together.

            ‘Rey.’ He said quietly, ‘What happened to you?’

            She’d been expecting these questions from him, but it didn’t make them any easier to answer. ‘I… I can’t tell you Finn. I’m sorry.’

            ‘Then just tell me where you are so we can come and get you.’

            ‘I…’ She began answering on reflex, planning to tell him that it was impossible, and he waste his time coming after her. But then it occurred to her that he was offering her a way out. A chance to turn back the clock to Snoke’s throne room and, instead of taking Ben’s hand, refusing him, jumping in a ship and running straight to the Resistance.

            But she couldn’t. Even if she put Ben and their problems to one side, she still couldn’t. It would be giving up one set of chains only to be given another. Leia and her fellow leaders would never leave her in peace if they learned what she could do, just as, even years after the Rebellion and his mission had ended, they still hunted for Luke.

            ‘It’s not that simple. I have things I need to do.’

            But he could be as persistent as her sometimes. ‘It _is_ simple Rey. Look, just come back and we can discuss things here. Whatever it is you need to do, we’ll help you.’

            ‘I can’t come back to the Resistance Finn. No matter what I choose to do, I can’t come back.’ She kept her voice firm, and she hoped that he would stop wasting their short time together hounding her about this.

            ‘But I miss you.’ He answered quietly.

            Finn truly wanted to say that he would run to her, that no matter where she was in the galaxy he would find her and help her with whatever she needed. The old Finn would have done exactly that. But the person he was now was different, and he knew that he couldn’t abandon his new duties to go searching for Rey.

            Despite how much he wanted to.

            ‘I miss you too.’ She replied, squeezing her arms tightly around herself as though trying to physically hold herself together.

            ‘Whenever you’re ready Rey, there’ll always be a home for you here. With us… with me.’

            ‘I know.’ And for the first time in her life, she trusted someone, believed them completely when they’d said they would be there for her. These were different to Ben’s promises, more comforting and wholesome and they made her feel warm.

            ‘Just promise me you’ll stay safe out there. I don’t think the First Order are the only ones looking for you.’

            ‘What about…’ She stopped herself before she could say Ben’s name aloud, ‘What do you mean?’

            ‘Kylo Ren’s gone missing. They’re looking for him too, from what we’ve heard they’ve got bounty hunters and everything. I hope they catch the bastard for everything he’s done.’ Rey breathed a small sigh of relief. Leia and the Resistance may not have the resources of other organisations, but their spies were some of the best. If Ben had been the least bit careless with their trail, then she had no doubt they would be found in a matter of days.

            Rey forced herself to make a response and was grateful that her short ‘oh’ of surprise didn’t immediately come across as suspicious.

            ‘They told me everything I missed on Starkiller, how Chewie saw the two of you fighting in the snow. He’s unstable Rey, and I think he’s going to come after you.’ He had no idea how close to the truth he was.

            ‘I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to hold my hand, remember?’

            He laughed softly.

            Their conversation continued for a while longer, and she was grateful that he seemed to have some free time with the Resistance so that she wouldn’t have to let him go too quickly.

            But when it did finally end, with more promises from her to stay safe and threats from him that he’d come find her if she didn’t, Rey realised that she felt better than she had in a long time.

            She wasn’t ready to make a decision about her future yet, that would come much later. But for the first time since she’d left, she felt confident that one day she would be able to decide and that when she did, she would be able to move on without regret.

            She closed her eyes so that she could focus on lowering her defences little by little. The bond between them opened slowly, and a familiar prickling sensation crept up the back of her neck. She was scared to open her eyes, but when she did he was stood in front of her.

            He looked terrible, and a small part of her was glad that he was suffering, facing the consequences of his actions for the first time in who knew how many years. Maybe this pleasure was the darkness residing within her that reflected Ben’s own.

            A surge of loneliness flowed through the bond between them, but neither made any attempts to move closer. They just stared at one another, Rey having no desire to comfort him and Ben knowing that he did not deserve her touch. She knew she’d have to face him properly at some point and inform him of whatever decision she’d made, she owed it to herself.

            But not now. She wasn’t ready yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As always, my thanks goes out to everyone who has commented and given kudos for the story, it means the world to me :D  
> This one’s a continuation of the angst, so let me know what you think!


	10. One Last Night

 

Present Day…

            The lights in the room dimmed, and the large holotable in front of them slowly whirred to life. It projected an image of the _Finalizer_ , spinning in place, and began sending the statistical readouts of the ship to the five holopads connected to it.

            The small group were meeting for the final time on one of the moons of Teth. The planet was right on the edge of wild space, close to where the _Finalizer_ had last been spotted by the Resistance spies and deep in Hutt territory. It was something that made Leia nervous, and with the major details of their attack having already been worked out over encrypted communications, she wanted their briefing to be over quickly.

            ‘The Resistance fighters will create the distraction you need to get on board. The First Order have advanced weaponry, as I’m sure you know.’

            Poe looked at Ben as he said this, and he dug his nails into his palms to force himself to ignore the barbed comment. ‘And their point-defence cannons are powerful. They won’t be able to hit us at close range, but they’ll certainly do some damage when we first get come onto their scanners. The fight won’t last too long once they send out their TIEs, so your entry window will be small.’

            Poe pointed to certain sections of the map, small squadrons of x-wings appearing from nowhere to digitally attack the much larger ship. Rey only hoped the battle would go as smoothly as it was in the picture before her.

            ‘We’ll come in low here and here. We want to draw as much attention to ourselves as we can without making it look like we’re there as a diversion, so we’re going to go after their cannons. Our fighters will be able to get through their shields no problem, but obviously any heavy artillery from our bigger ships will be useless.’

            More ships appeared on the screen, and it surprised Rey that the Resistance had gone from nothing to being so well prepared in just three short years. Poe continued, ‘A third squadron will enter from above, and head straight for the bridge. It’ll be particularly well shielded and I doubt our weapons will cause much damage, at least not before you both have the chance to do what you need to do and leave.’

            Leia stood slowly from her seat at the table, looking over at Poe. ‘Our cruiser will be waiting for your return out of range of the _Finalizer_ ’s scanners.’ Leia added. ‘When you make your retreat, head to the ship. That far away from their main fleet we’ll be able to give covering fire and target any TIE’s that might follow you.’

            As the only person at the table not to have some sort military background or training, Rey knew she was out of her depth with the strategizing. She was much more comfortable with a weapon in her hand and a clear target to follow, and she was tired of pretending otherwise. She shrugged. ‘This is great and all, but how exactly does it help us to get on board?’

            Finn looked at her sympathetically, understanding only too well the feelings of a person thrown into something they were unfamiliar with, and then just being expected to deal with the situation.

            ‘A constant barrage of attacks from our fighters will light up their shield readouts. They won’t be able to tell one attack from another out there.’

            ‘And they also won’t notice our ship penetrating their shields when they’ve already got three dozen x-wings attacking them from all sides.’ Ben continued. His intimate knowledge of the _Finalizer_ had been instrumental in constructing their plan, so he already knew it well.

            ‘Exactly.’ Finn grumbled, not happy at being interrupted.

            Poe slapped him on the shoulder and gave him a small smile, which the younger man couldn’t help but return. They’d known going into this that working with Kylo Ren- after what had happened to Han they were still unwilling him to acknowledge him as a Solo- wasn’t going to be easy. But they needed to do their best for Chewie, Leia and Rey’s sakes.

            Poe looked over to his rival. ‘We’ll do as many runs as we can to give you the time you need to get on board, but I don’t want to lose my pilots to it. The second you’ve landed, you need to make contact with us, so we can pull out.’

            ‘And how do we do that? If they notice any unauthorised communications leaving the ship and going straight to the fighters attacking them, they’re bound to realise that we’re on board.’ Rey asked.

            They’d been discussing this exact point since they’d first come up with their plan, and unfortunately, Ben had only been able to think of one answer. He looked across the table towards the General, her face half masked by the schematics and bathed in its blue light, and saw that she’d already been staring at him. They’d clearly come to the same conclusion, but he didn’t like it.

            ‘Ben will make sure I get the message, then I can pass it on to you, commander.’ Leia said with certainty.

            Poe looked confused but decided to keep his mouth shut and just nodded along. He’d heard of Leia’s powers years before he’d joined the Resistance, had even seen them first hand with her miraculous survival on the _Raddus_. But their time together hadn’t made him anymore knowledgeable about the force, and he had no wish to know more about something that could corrupt so easily when used by the wrong people.

            He relaxed his expression, and Leia continued with the plan. ‘When you’re in, you need to get down to the detention level.’ Leia tapped the holopad in front of her and the map swivelled round, zooming in on the area she was talking about. She didn’t need to go into detail on how to get there, everyone in the room knew that Ben already had precise knowledge of that area of the ship.

            ‘And you’re sure that’s where he’ll be? With the texts to find as well, we won’t have time to be searching the entire ship for him.’ Ben stated harshly.

            ‘Our intelligence from inside the Order…’ Leia began.

            ‘You have spies inside the order?’ Ben’s voice was even and controlled, but Leia could see in his eyes that he was curious. Some things didn’t change, even with age.

            ‘Don’t underestimate the Resistance or the number of people who want the First Order gone.’ Her small smile was that of a mother teaching her child a lesson, and Ben dipped his head slightly in shame.

            It was only a tiny gesture, one that would have gone unnoticed by anyone else but the people who had watched him grow, yet it warmed Leia’s heart. It was the first time she’d seen from him that he regretted his choices, the mistakes he’d made in his past, and it gave her hope. Hope that behind the anger and pain, her boy was still in there, and everything she was doing to secure his future was worth it.

            ‘As I was saying, our intelligence officers updated us a few hours ago. There have been a large number of injuries reported from troopers stationed in the detention block. We suspect this might be down to Chewie’s… reluctance to being detained.’

            ‘Great.’ Ben replied sarcastically, ‘so we’re heading into First Order space, risking our lives to save that damn Wookie, and we just need to hope that he’s there.’

            His face had gone from contrite to sneering in a matter of seconds, and even though she’d seen these sudden mood swings multiple times since she’d made contact, it still shocked her. His emotions had always been volatile, but his years with the dark side had made them even more so.

            ‘Rebellions are built on hope, Ben.’ She said seriously.

            His fists slammed down on the table, and the whole room seemed to shake with the force of his sudden anger. When his voice came out it was low and quiet. ‘I’m not a part of your rebellion, _General_. I’m in this solely for Rey.’

            Rey leaned over to him, wrapping her hands around his upper arm to distract him and get his attention to move to her. But before she could do more, Finn leapt up, and it only seemed to be Poe’s quick actions in holding him back that stopped him running around the table.

            ‘You’re only in this so you can get your hands on those texts. You don’t give a fuck about Rey. You don’t give a fuck about Chewie or what happens to him!’ Finn shouted at him, his hands turning into fists where they were gripping onto the arm Poe had around his chest.

            ‘You’re right, I don’t care about the Wookie. Rey does, but I don’t. And if when we’re there we’re forced to make a choice between him or getting those texts, then I won’t hesitate to leave him behind.’

            Rey’s head shot up at the words, shocked that he would say such things aloud. He knew better than anyone that if they failed to rescue Chewie, Hux was unlikely to keep him alive long enough for a second attempt.

            But as Ben brought his hand up to his forehead and forcefully rubbed it, frustrated with himself, she could tell that the words had only been said in the heat of the moment. The fire in his mind quickly burned down, and once he’d composed himself he mouthed a small ‘I’m sorry’ in her direction. She squeezed his arm tightly and was reassured when he placed his other hand atop hers and squeezed back.

            Leia really did want to be out of Hutt space as quickly as possible, but she waited for Rey and Poe to calm their respective partners down before she continued. ‘We have a ship waiting for you in the fleet. The weapons are minimal to reduce its chance of detection, but it’s also small and fast.’

            ‘No.’ Ben insisted. ‘If we’re doing this then we’re taking our own ship. It’s been modified extensively and both Rey and I are comfortable flying it. Besides, I won’t fly in a ship that doesn’t at least have the capacity to take down any TIEs that come after us.’

            ‘I don’t think that’s such a good idea...’ Leia began, but once again Ben cut her off. He hated to admit it, but he knew the General much too well to not know exactly where her thoughts were going.

            ‘You mean you don’t want those texts in the hands of someone you can’t control, on a ship you can’t track. Don’t worry General, we’ll still have a Wookie to drop off when we’re finished. You’ll be seeing us again.’

\-------------------------------------------------------

            They both moved methodically around the ship, going step by step to make sure everything was set for the attack on the _Finalizer_. The plan was for them to stay out of the fray, to focus solely on getting aboard and carrying out their mission. But they had been left under prepared before and they had no wish to find themselves cornered again and without the proper weaponry to protect themselves.

            Both were silent, their thoughts focused entirely on the work at hand. But for Rey this was becoming more and more of a struggle, as she tried to calm the thoughts rushing through her brain. There were so many questions she still had of him, so many words left unspoken.

            ‘I can hear your thoughts from across the ship.’ His voice said quietly from over her shoulder. ‘You’re worried about tomorrow.’

            He was right, she was worried, but it had little to do with the success or failure of their mission. She was worried only about him. His hands rose to rest on her upper arms and they were so warm, as always. He bent his head down low, pressing feather light kisses against her shoulders.

            He began to move up to her neck and she instinctively moved her head to the side to give him better access. As he reached the weak spot behind the shell of her ear and nuzzled gently against it, a small moan left her lips. She could feel his smirk, hear the quiet noise so close to her ear. And as much as she loved to hear it, it irritated her when her reactions made him smug.

            Rey felt a hand press against her chin, pushing her face into his. His lips moved to hers, hovering over them and teasing her with the lack of contact, but they both knew he would cave first. He always did, and this time was no exception.

            Their lips slotted together, and not for the first time she wondered at the softness she felt there. Her body turned into his, and her arms raised to wrap around his neck. She felt his tongue press firmly against the seam of her closed mouth, pleading for entrance, but she wouldn’t grant it to him. She was busy.

            His teeth nipped lightly at her bottom lip as she began to pull away and his hands snaked around her waist, both unconscious attempts to make her stay right there with him.

            When she spoke, she tried to project a voice unaffected by his actions, but it came out breathless and needy, her eyelids near fluttering with the effort of staying open. ‘We still have things we need to do.’

            ‘Yes, we do.’ He replied, but his version of acquiescence wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind.

            His head dove down to the juncture between her neck and shoulder, sucking on her pulse point before gently laving the red mark he’d made with his tongue. The contrast between the cold durasteel at her back and the warmth of his body fitted against her felt incredible, and any complaints she had turned to ash in her mouth.

            Already she could feel the wetness between her thighs growing at the thought of them having this final night to lose themselves in each other. There had been so much uncertainty in their lives since Leia had returned, and maybe his way of dealing with it wasn’t that bad. Or at least it would give her a few hours to forget that the fate of the galaxy may once again rest on their shoulders.

            His hand moved down to the bottom of her shirt, slowly creeping it up her stomach. But the pace he was setting was quickly becoming too slow for her, and she only managed to growl out the word ‘off’ before she grabbed the hem and tugged it over her head herself. She hummed her pleasure and he felt her thread her fingers through his hair as he slowly kissed his way down her newly bared chest.

            His tongue reached her breast, flicking lightly over her nipple and causing a surprised gasp to leap out of her throat. And when he moved over to suckle on the other, his hands simultaneously reaching down to release the button on her trousers and open them up, his name was ripped from her in a slow groan.

 _Fuck_ , he loved the noises she made.

            ‘Ben,’ She whispered. ‘You too.’ And she began pulling at his own shirt, already damp with their sweat. He pulled back for just a moment to wrench it off, not wanting to waste even a second of the time he had with her.

            She lifted her leg, hooking it tightly around his waist and using the leverage to pull him as close to her as she could with his mouth and hands back on her breasts. The new position allowed her to feel all of him pressing against her core, and she pushed a hand into her mouth to stifle the moan that rattled out of her throat.

            But Ben wasn’t having it and he raised himself back up, thrusting his hand into her hair, grabbing what he could and yanking her head back sharply. He adored those noises, knowing that it was him and only him in the galaxy who could make her lose control in this way.

            ‘Look at me.’ He growled, and she forced her eyelids to open. His pupils had overtaken the rest of his eyes, now almost completely black, and she knew that if she’d had a mirror she would see the exact same thing reflected back at her. He ground his hips a few times into hers, desperate to hear the moans she’d been denying him.

            ‘I need to see you.’ He ground out. ‘I need to _hear_ you.’

            He seemed so sure of himself, so certain he had the upper hand here, as though he could demand anything of her and she would comply. And It made Rey feel good that he didn’t need to hold these parts of himself back with her. That he could be rough with her, trusting that she would stop him if she needed to. In this at least, there was no pretending between them.

            It didn’t mean she wouldn’t fight back though- that wasn’t in the nature of a scavenger like her.

            Suddenly, a flood of images inundated his mind, memories of their times together and wishes for their future, freezing his whole body and causing his eyes to flicker back and forth as they flashed by.

            … _Rey stood with her forehead pressed against the wall, his hand grabbing her breast hard and rolling the nipple between his fingers, as his other hand began its tortuously slow journey south…_

_…Ben returning early and catching her alone in the shower, capturing her gasps with his lips pressed firmly against her own, before pulling her closer to him and letting her feel just how much he needed her in that moment…_

_…The fire roaring behind them in their home on Nocoma. His hands warm and roaming between her back and her hips as she slowly lowered herself down onto him. They had all the time in the world, and she wanted to draw every moan she could out of this wonderful man beneath her, to show him how much she adored him and all that he was…_

            Rey had never been one to just sit back and take his attempts to dominate her and their relationship, and he had no doubt that those first two memories had been sent to prove the power she also held over him. But the small, gentle smile that crossed her lips told him everything he needed to know about that final scene.

            The last memory had been from just a few weeks before. Anakin had been put to sleep, and with nothing else drawing their attention, they’d curled up together in front of the fire. It hadn’t taken long for small searching touches to turn into cries of need and desperation. It warmed him to know that she felt just as strongly about their time together on that tiny planet in that tiny run-down cottage as he did. That rather than the home they left behind, her strongest and most vivid memories were just of them being together.

            His mouth found hers again, but rather than the passion they’d both been fighting with earlier, this time his kisses were tender, and when his tongue begged for entrance she didn’t deny him a second time. He dragged his hands over her sides, revelling in the goose bumps they left in their wake, and tugged on her trousers. He pulled them over her bottom, and she used her legs to do the rest and kick them across the room as he moved to work on his own.

            When they were finally naked, she wasted no time in throwing her leg back to its previous position around his waist, unwilling to lose the feeling of him against her. But she didn’t expect to feel his fingers inch closer and closer to her centre, now pressed so closely to him, parting her slowly and swiping one from back to front. It shocked a sharp cry from her throat, she was already so wet and so sensitive and so ready for him, and her knees buckled slightly.

            He brought the offending digit up to their faces, pulling his lips away from her mouth to study the moisture gathered there. It glistened in the low lights of the cabin, and he used it to paint her lips, swooping in to capture them and the taste of her gathered there.

            ‘Stop teasing me, Ben.’ She whispered against him as he took his chance to breathe. ‘I need you.’ And that was enough to undo him completely, his sudden moan fanning his breath across her face.

            He gripped her other leg, bringing it up to his hips, and she clasped his ankles together at his back. He pulled them both away from the wall, and the sudden absence of something firm at her back caused her to grab onto him even more tightly. With every step he took she felt his hard length sliding against her folds and pressing up against that sensitive little nub, triggering stars behind her eyelids and causing her to gasp sharply against his shoulder.

            For Ben it was near torture, his arms shaking not with the effort of carrying her, she was too small to be any sort of challenge, but with the effort it took not to just slide into her right then. She was velvet against his body, and the warmth and light in his mind.

            But he resisted because she deserved his love and his undivided attention tonight, and so he walked them over to the bed. He sat himself down on the edge with her in his lap. He wanted to see her face when he entered her, wanted to feel her body pressed as closely as it could be above him as she came.

            Her knees and shins rested against the bed on either side of his hips, and she tested the leverage she had in this new position by lifting herself up and dragging herself slowly down against his length. It was so close to where he wanted to be, and he exhaled shakily at the sensation, instinctively pressing his face against her shoulder for just a second before forcing himself to look back up.

            His large hands grabbed her waist, easily lifting her and pressing her back down, coating himself in the liquid leaking from her. This time, he couldn’t stop the sharp grunt that escaped him. She was so wet, already so ready for him, and he could hear her keening over the bond.

            She threaded her fingers through his hair, but this time it was so much gentler. She pulled them softly through the strands as he continued his grinding against her. As his rhythm increased though, her fingers started to reflexively tighten and release, pulling on them and causing his head to jerk backwards in time with his thrusts. His pleasure was mixed with the pain coming from his scalp, and the grunts coming from his throat were sounding increasingly frantic. The noises he made were exquisite.

            ‘Please.’ He groaned into the air, his head thrown back. There was nothing more arousing in the galaxy than the sound of the once terrifying Kylo Ren begging her for more. Asking her for whatever she would give him, when once he had threatened that he could take whatever he wanted _._

            ‘I need to see you’ She repeated his earlier words, and he pulled his head sluggishly forward to look at her. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear, humming in pleasure as the change in position changed the angle at which he was pressed against her. ‘I need you inside me, Ben.’

            Without a word, she reached down and took him in hand, stroking him a few times before guiding him in.

            She was silken and so wonderfully warm, taking him inch by inch until he was seated fully inside of her. No matter how many times they were together, this was the moment that affected him most. He could feel her pulse surrounding him, reminding him that, despite everything that had happened to them, she was alive. They were both alive and they had each other. They _belonged_ to each other.

            She started moving slowly, feeling his shaking breaths blowing across her, and feeling their sweat soaked skin sliding against each other. Her rhythm was awkward at first, their position on the edge of the bed not giving her enough leverage to move as she wanted to without his help. But as always, he could sense exactly what she needed from him without a single word passing between them and his grip on her hips tightened as he lent his own strength to her movements.

            He thrust slowly, a steady rhythm building between them of long, intense thrusts that had her thighs squeezing around him, and moments of retreat which caused her to whimper with her desperation to have him back inside of her.

            Inevitably, it didn’t take her long to feel the white heat growing deep in her belly, spreading out and threatening to overtake her. She clenched her inner walls around him as he entered her again, and the unexpected tightness of her had him crying out. Her name leaked from his lips, a prayer muttered against her skin amidst a litany of broken words and half-finished sentences.

            ‘I love you.’ She whispered. ‘So very much.’ And the words caused his hips to stutter as he began to lose control of himself.

            She could feel his mind instinctively wrapping like a snake, tighter and tighter around her own, and where once it had scared her to be so under his control, years of being together had shown her how to fight against his darker side when it came out. It wanted to keep her all to himself, wanted to possess her completely, and it needed to be put back in place before it could take over him. She pushed back against his mind, allowing some of his thoughts in and shutting out others.

            Rey could now feel how much her words affected him. Such things were so rarely spoken between them, both preferring to open their minds and let the feelings wash over them through the bond. But when they were, she felt how conflicted he became.

            The once lonely and attention starved boy was so desperate to hear them, yet so terrified because of the meaning they held. The feelings felt so much more real to him when they were spoken aloud. And she knew that no matter how many years they were together, this would never change. It was a secret only she knew, and she treasured that he would allow her to make him feel these things; scared and vulnerable… and loved.

            She clung to him even more tightly as she felt the knot in her stomach growing and growing. His rhythm was increasing, creating short, erratic strokes that dragged through her quickly and left her wanting so much more.

            ‘Rey, I need…’ He groaned. A particularly hard thrust hit something deep within her and tore a strangled scream from her throat. She was so close.

            ‘Let go.’ She ordered him, but his head shook jerkily against her.

            ‘Please, Ben.’ She needed him to let go, she needed it more than anything in the galaxy.

            One of the hands that had been resting on her hips reached down between them, finding that sensitive spot that never failed to make her see stars. He circled his fingers around her once, twice, three times before she finally tumbled over the edge.

            Ben only lasted a few more seconds, the feel of her walls convulsing around him too much for him to bear any longer. She heard his strained groan, but it sounded so far away, the roar of blood in her ears drowning out any sound he could make.

            Eventually, his hips came to a slow stop beneath her, and she realised that her forehead had dropped down against his shoulder. He kissed the crown of her head and stroked her back with warm hands as she gradually returned to herself.

            In a few hours the galaxy would need them again, but for now they belonged only to each other.

\-------------------------------------------------------

            ‘How long do we have left?’ She asked a short while later. They were laying together in bed, and she pulled her hand through his hair, drawing it away from his forehead rubbing the strands between her fingers. She loved his hair, and he indulged her by allowing her to play with it whenever they were alone together.

            Ben lifted his head slightly from her chest to look at the clock they’d set up near the entrance to the cockpit.

            ‘A few more hours yet.’ His voice sounded exhausted, and he dropped himself back down lazily, so she could continue her ministrations. ‘We should probably get some sleep.’

            He felt rather than heard her response, a short _hmm_ that vibrated through her chest and his face pressed against it. Her mind was wandering, and he could sense her question coming before she even had the chance to ask it.

            ‘Do you wish we weren’t doing this?’ She asked quietly.

            ‘You mean this?’ He said lightly, before turning his head to the side and taking a nipple between his lips. He sucked on it, leisurely rolling his tongue around the bud and biting down lightly. The sensation shot straight through her chest and down to her core, turning the sensation into a breathy moan, before he gently pulled away. The self-satisfied smile on his face made her laugh quietly. He was such a mass of contradictions; firm yet gentle, serious yet occasionally playful, a man filled with hatred for his old family yet filled with so much love for her and their son.

            But their laughs slowly died down and he grew serious as he took in the full extent of what she’d asked him. He wished that none of this had happened, that he wasn’t forced to plot and manipulate those around him to keep his family safe from the galaxy.

            But nothing felt safe anymore.

            ‘I wish they’d never found us.’

            His words hit her hard, and Rey felt the guilt like a knife through her chest. She regretted asking her question, regretted that she couldn’t admit to him that it was her fault the Resistance had found them. That it was a moment of weakness driven by fear a year before that had lead them to that tiny planet, and in turn to Leia finding them again.

            But he continued, not knowing that with every word he drove the knife deeper into her heart.

            ‘It was the first time in my life I felt safe, on that planet. Even as a child there were people who wanted to use me to get to my family and I was always surrounded by strangers employed to protect me. But on Nocoma we only had each other and that was enough.’

            It was rare for him to speak about his past, even more so for her to hear anything about his childhood, and it shocked Rey out of her stupor. It was torture, knowing what she’d done to him, but she buried the emotions deep down where he wouldn’t be able to find them. She couldn’t miss the opportunity of getting him to speak and open up to her.

            And there was one question that had been on her mind for a while.

            ‘I know how much you hate Chewie,’ Just hearing the name caused his grip on her to unconsciously tighten. ‘I sense the change in your feelings whenever he’s mentioned. What happened?’

            He sighed against her, knowing that his feelings towards the Wookie were unwarranted yet unable to be rid of them. ‘Nothing. I barely knew him, not past the stories I was told growing up anyway. He left to re-join his family on Kashyyyk before I was even born, and I only saw him once or twice- only when there was trouble of course.’

            His grip on her was becoming painful but she didn’t mention it, wanting more than anything for him to continue his story. ‘The day they sent me away, he was suddenly there. I assumed he’d come to take me, but then Skywalker appeared too. It was only later I learnt that the same day I left for my training, he and Han left together. My own father had chosen to throw me away so that he could continue to be a smuggler and a thief, and there was the Wookie to cheer him along.’

            ‘I’m sorry.’ She whispered quietly. It wasn’t pity she felt for him, but sadness that the little boy he’d once been had been so damaged by the actions of those around him. It didn’t excuse anything he’d done, nor did it warrant his hatred of Chewbacca. But it certainly explained much of it.

            She felt his need to end the conversation there, sharing his past with her was painful for him and it was a gift for him to give her anything. So, they lay there in silence for a while, until she felt the brush of his eyelashes against her as his eyes slowly lost the fight against the sleep he so desperately needed. But Rey knew she wouldn’t be joining him, her thoughts running too quickly and shouting at her too loudly.

            Trust was something that had come early in their relationship, forced as it was by their circumstances and having no one else to rely on but each other. They still had their own secrets, each needing to keep something of themselves back when their bond forced them to share everything else about themselves, but they were few and far between.

            As for her own secrets, she thought of them as small things. Things that Ben didn’t need to know, maybe even things that it would hurt him to know. She would take the pain and the guilt that came with keeping them from him if it meant sparing him.

            They’d always trusted each other’s judgement on the matter, that if it was important enough then it would be shared.

            And yet now, so close to completing this one final mission and escaping together again, she still had no idea what Ben’s intentions were. She had not forgotten his recent secrecy in the heat of their passion; his mind was closed to her and she hated the uncertainty that came with it.

            After everything they had been through in the past three years, everything they had fought so hard to create, she couldn’t lose him. Either to the First Order or to the dark side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As always, I’m incredibly grateful to everyone who has reviewed and given kudos, it means the world to me to read your comments.  
> Okay, so the rating has now changed to M, but I’ll admit that I’ve never ever written anything like this before.   
> I cannot tell you how difficult this one's been to write guys! The number of times I slammed my laptop closed and stormed off is... well it's more than I should admit to lol  
> Let me know what you think though. Reviews are love!!


	11. FB: Cage of Their Own Making (Part 3)

2 years 10 months earlier…

            Two weeks.

            Every day for two whole weeks Rey had revisited the Jedi temple, and what did she have to show for her efforts? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

            She’d explored the sprawling complex as best she could, but there were still so many rooms locked off to her. Whatever Jedi techniques that were required to open them were lost to the ages now; those who knew anything were long dead and had taken their secrets with them. And it wasn’t as if she’d been visited by any other ghosts since that first time, no one was coming to help her. Fortunately.

            She’d run her hands over the doors, both ornate and simple in design, and felt the power that ran through them. It was the same power that permeated the whole building, humming contentedly at the thought of being needed once more.

            But these explorations had ultimately left her no wiser than she had been when she’d first started. The temple was merely a shell without the Jedi there to bring it to life.

            And so that was when the meditating had begun. It had felt like an appropriate thing to do in a place such as this, and Rey reasoned that this might be a good way to _look inside herself and find the answers she needed._

            It was more difficult to gain her focus without Luke there with her; his training had been short yet what little she’d learnt from him was already so precious to her. But as she’d sat on one the of the few balconies she’d been able to find that hadn’t been destroyed, she’d heard a voice trying to help her.

            It was the same one she’d heard when first drawn to the temple, that of the young Jedi she’d met. Rey couldn’t make out his words, but they were pulling her within herself, guiding her to a place where she could find her centre and draw strength from. She followed the voice gladly, grateful that at last her mind seemed to be clearing.

            Every time she’d tried meditating before, her thoughts would stray to Ben. He was a distraction that she couldn’t allow herself, but he was just such a central part of her life now. She’d closed the bond completely after that one night of weakness when she’d let him in, but the world had become so much colder without his thoughts resting at all times beside her own.

            But now, for the first time in two weeks of trying, Rey forced herself to turn away from her thoughts of him and his emotions. She looked deeper inside herself, searching for something in particular.

            And when she found it, it took her some time to pluck up the courage to head to that one place in her mind she needed to go. She opened the doors she’d sealed tightly shut, and her worst memories rose in her mind, flashing by her in a nightmarish sequence. It was fortunate that there weren’t so many, she thought. She flicked through them quickly, not willing to linger for too long on each one, until she came to the one she wanted.

            It was of their fight. Usually when she thought about it, she’d quickly push it from her thoughts, wanting to avoid it and all the pain that went along with it. But not this time. This time, she forced herself to watch every second of it, and felt every emotion that had coursed through her on that day.

            She’d felt so helpless against him, his powers much more controlled and focused than her own. In some years, maybe, she would be able to stand her ground against him if he turned again. But for now, she was vulnerable, powerless against his emotions, and that something Rey could not stand to feel.

            But what she hadn’t noticed before was the fear she’d felt _for_ him too. That if he carried on like this, in time he would lose himself entirely, becoming just a shell for the dark side to control. She could try to convince herself that this would be the worst thing for the galaxy to endure, that whatever her decision was she made it with this fact in mind. But she knew that it was Ben she was most worried about. She didn’t want him to have to suffer such a fate.

            Rey huffed in frustration. She was done. She leapt to her feet, dusting herself off and turning to find the exit to the temple. The answers she was looking for, she’d never find inside herself; there were too many contradictions and uncertainties in her own mind. Instead, they were out there, waiting for her.

            She needed to see him again. All her doubts stemmed from him, from whether the bond that tied them together could ever actually be made to work. And there was only one place she could find that out for certain.

\-----------------------------------------

            It had been a month since Rey had left the warehouse, and from the outside it was as though nothing had changed there. He’d brought a new speeder, but the place was still filthy and covered in rust and would appear to any passers-by to be abandoned.

            But inside her own head, her emotions were a tangled mess. Nothing else had worked to straighten them out, and so she was left with no other option than this. She couldn’t say that she was ready for this, or that she even knew what to expect from him, but it had to be done.

            She moved to push aside the huge metal door but before she could take a step forward, it began to slowly open before her. His figure blocked the doorway and his face was half covered by shadows, but it looked so shocked to see her stood before him.

            ‘Rey.’ His voice was gruff, though she didn’t know if this was from overuse or from the screaming he often did when his anger was released. She looked up at him, and if anything, he seemed worse than he’d been when she’d last opened the bond.

            ‘I… I couldn’t sense you on the planet. I thought you’d left.’

            His words explained the look in his eyes. They’d always been the most expressive part of him, the one thing he couldn’t hide unless it was behind that black, faceless mask. And now they were broken.

            She didn’t need to see the dark circles that ringed them to know that his actions haunted him even now, and that the consequence of this was a severe lack of sleep. And she didn’t need to see the red lines that spread like a spider’s web over the whites to know that he’d been facing the strain of being alone and had been rubbing his hands viciously across his eyes as he always did when he was tense.

            But there was something else there too. He looked at her as though she were the most valuable thing in the galaxy, as though the whole thing could collapse around them, but he wouldn’t care as long as he had her beside him.

            She knew it was just the loneliness within him reacting to her presence, but it didn’t stop that compassionate part of her, the Jedi within her, the part that was bonded to him and felt what he felt, wanting to run forward and comfort him.

            Yet she didn’t. That wouldn’t help either of them.

            ‘I closed the bond. I needed time to think.’ She said with a determined set to her voice, and she pushed past him into the room. But what she saw there made her stop.

            The walls were littered with burnt slashes, long lines that dragged in deadly arcs. In some places on the opposite side of the room, she could even see small rays of light stretching through where several lines had crossed and burnt fully through the thick metal of the walls. Not for the first time, she was glad that the warehouse was situated in a practically abandoned part of the old industrial district.

            ‘About what?’ His question pulled her back to him, her head turning slowly from the damage and her eyes meeting his.

            ‘About this.’ Rey gestured to the room around them, the scars on the walls. ‘About us. About whether I had the strength to come back to you. I was looking for answers.’

            ‘And did you find them?’ She could hear the hope in his voice. Just by returning to this place, especially since he’d thought her long gone from his life, she’d given him hope.

            But she wouldn’t lie to him.

            ‘No.’ She said resolutely. Rey refused to feel guilty for returning to him without a plan, even if her denial caused his shoulders to sag and his face to fall. This wasn’t about him, none of it was. She’d come back to collect something for herself, the answers she hadn’t been able find during her time at the temple.

            The young Jedi had been right, they were something she’d have to seek herself, so she’d come back to the source of all her problems.

            ‘What do you think I should do?’ She asked him.

            His eyebrows rose at the unexpected question, shocked that she would even think to ask his opinion after what he’d done, and his eyes began to wander as he thought it through. But he realised quickly that he had nothing to give her.

            The selfish part of him, the part of him that had been dominating his thoughts and actions for so long now, wanted to scream at her to stay with him. It wanted to throw their bond wide open and bask in the light that called out to the darkness within him. To show her that they were each other’s only equals in the entire galaxy.

            But it was that selfishness that had forced her to run in the first place.

            ‘Pick up your lightsaber.’

            Ben looked into her eyes, thinking that he’d misheard her. But then she pulled out her own saber from her belt, turning it over and over in her hand. The air around him filled with the cloying energy of his fear, radiating out from him in waves. He didn’t move. He was afraid of even touching the weapon in front of her, fearful of hurting her again.

            But Rey wouldn’t accept his acquiescence so easily, this wasn’t about him. It was about her, being mentally and emotionally connected to someone she barely knew. She’d been afraid, and she’d run away, but only because she’d never understood just how far his darkness ran, just how much it was a part of him.

            On Ahch-To, when she’d spoken to him, she’d been hoping he’d be able to overcome it and try to be like her. It’d been the same on Jakku. And while she did still believe that his darker tendencies needed to be reined in and controlled, she’d come to realise that destroying his darkness would destroy who he was.

            His family had tried to erase the darkness. Snoke had tried to release it. She wouldn’t make the same mistakes they’d made. It was about understanding him and helping him to find his way towards balance.

            ‘Pick it up, Kylo.’ She repeated.

            That caught his attention. She hadn’t called him by that name for a long time, and now it almost felt like a slap to hear it come from her mouth.

            ‘He’s still in there, isn’t he? I want you to let him out. Pick up your lightsaber and don’t hold back.’

            But he still wouldn’t move. The thread between them was so tenuous, and his fear of hurting her overrode his wish to do as she asked. But as she opened the bond again, just a fraction, he felt how desperately she needed this from him. She’d been searching for… something… since she’d left and something had led her to believe that this was the key to it all.

            ‘I won’t ask again Kylo, pick it up.’ His eyes flashed again at the name, but her tone was full of authority, and left no space for him to delay any further.

            Slowly, he bent down to pick up the black handle from where it had been carelessly dropped on the floor after his last angry outburst. It felt right to be back in his hand, despite the fear he felt at seeing it there once again.

            Rey walked over to the training area, forcing her steps to be much more confident than she felt inside, and he followed.

            She ignited her lightsaber, and her entire body was bathed in the cool blue glow. The light made her seem almost ethereal and lent a sharpness to her features; she looked like some sort of vengeful ghost he’d read about in stories as a child.

            ‘I want you to let it all out. Everything.’ Her tone was serious, and he could only nod silently in response, but she needed to know he understood exactly what this meant to her. ‘I mean it. If you hold back, I’ll know. And I’ll walk out of here. I need to see everything you have.’

            He lit his lightsaber and rushed towards her. She lifted her own to block, pushing her whole body into the movement to force him away. But his strength was so much greater than hers, and she couldn’t get him to budge. Instead, he pressed down harder, the red blade coming closer and closer to her face.

            Rey twisted her grip on the lightsaber, spinning out the block and jumping back several feet from him. His blade had scraped down her own, with the heat of it grazing her knuckles and leaving a small red streak of blood on each one it had touched. But she pulled her thoughts away from that. She’d ordered him not to hold back, and he certainly wasn’t doing that.

            He leapt at her once more, not allowing her the chance to go on the offensive this time. She threw her own force powers into her blocks, able to keep him at bay for a time, but it quickly became clear that the fight was taking much more out of her than it was him.

            His actions were fuelled by his fear over her leaving, and his need to follow her orders and unleash everything he had in order to make her stay. It was terrifying to see the power this one man alone had contained within him.

            But she knew it was worse to _feel_ that power.

            She sensed the tendrils of his mind reaching for hers, just as they had last time they’d fought, his darkness taking over him to ensure his victory in battle. But this time at least, she was ready for it.

            Rey tried to reinforce her mental defences, as she’d been practicing since she’d left Luke on Ahch-To, but it was so difficult to do with Ben’s constant attacks raining down on her. With every brick she managed to place in the wall, his mind countered by destroying ten of them with ease.

            Her plan wasn’t working, she couldn’t defend herself against him. His years of training and his extraordinary natural ability in entering and manipulating minds was the perfect conduit for the dark side.

            She looked around for something to help her, her eyes darting from side to side as she was backed into a corner by the viciousness of his swipes and lunges. And when she looked into his, they were hard as granite. There was no hint of that rare warmth in them that he reserved only for her.

            His lightsaber came down on her once more, and though she raised her own to block it, it was clear that she didn’t have the strength for much more of this. His own powers fell on the lightsabers like a tonne of rocks, pushing them lower and lower until they were crossed in front of her throat. Sparks shot from the red saber, falling on her clothing, and leaving tiny singed marks all over.

            And in that moment, she was sure he was going to kill her.

            _Stop fighting him Rey. Stop fighting the darkness and find the light. Be the balance._

            The voice of the Jedi echoed within her head, and she had just a split second to decide whether to follow his instructions.

Rey chose to trust in his words.

            She closed her eyes, looking for the power within her that she knew could easily match the raw intensity of Ben’s. It was easy to find, a bright light that had always been there and filled almost every part of her. She collected it, pushing and forming it into a weapon and when she was ready, she opened her eyes.

            It was released in a massive blast, pushing Ben halfway across the training floor. She felt the darkness retreat in fear from her mind, running back to a safe haven at the feeling of such a strong wave of light energy.

            Ben blinked several times in confusion, as though he couldn’t remember anything that had just happened between them. But he quickly did and dropped his lightsaber to the floor in shock. He’d almost killed her, he would have if she hadn’t fought back against him.

            His body moved before he could think to stop it, running across the small space to her. He didn’t care that she would undoubtedly leave him after this and chose instead to hold onto her small body as tightly as he could. The strength in his legs finally gave way, and he dragged them both down to the ground.

            He leant into her, pressing her close with one hand and holding his body upright with the other. His head pressed tightly into her neck, and she could feel the tears wetting the fabric of her shirt. His shoulders shook as he sobbed silently into her.

            Rey wondered how long it had been since he’d let out his emotions like this. How long had it been since someone had forced him to see the consequences of his actions? He was the product of hurt, a broken child, and in his anger and need to wipe out his past he’d hurt so many others.

            They still needed to have a conversation, but it could wait. For now, all he needed was her silence, a moment to take in everything that had happened and how close he’d come to losing her.

            But the revelations were not only his. Rey too felt as though something within her had changed. She’d needed to know that she could help him, that when it came down to it, she was someone who could counter his darker side. She could force it into submission when it grew too wild and out of control, but she would never smother it as others had sought to in the past.

            She finally felt as though she was growing to be his equal. It would take time, the fight alone today had sapped so much of her strength from her that she was leaning on him just as much as he was her, but one day she would be a person who could help him to keep the balance.

            And maybe this was why the force had seen fit to bring them together, to bind them through a bond that never should have been able to exist.

            But all of that could be discussed later. Instead, they just sat with each other, his sobs slowly dying out until there was only silence surrounding them. His grip grew lighter, as though afraid he’d overstepped a boundary by being so close to her. But her only response was to wrap her arms around him before he could pull away.

            And for the first time in a month, she threw open the doors to their bond completely and let his mind back into her own.

\------------------------------------

            ‘Rewind the feed.’ The creature spoke quietly behind the mask it wore, the hollow black markings where its eyes should be trained on the video looping in front of it.

            The unfortunate guard sat at the console shook as one hand reached to wipe a bead of swear from his forehead and the other reached for his keyboard. The footage rewound quickly, but the figure behind him could still easily recognise what was going on.

            ‘Stop’ it ordered, voice modulated and disguised by the mask. ‘Play it again, frame by frame.’

            The video stopped, before jumping back to life as picture by picture appeared on the screen. It was of a corridor, surrounded by grand pillars and broken statues and looming staircases. The Imperial Palace.

            Nothing happened for a while, the space as cold and lifeless as it had been for the almost thirty years since the Empire had fallen and the palace had been ransacked.

            Then suddenly a small figure appeared at one end, her body naturally stealthy and locked in a defensive position as she made her way down the hall. She was wearing a cloak, several sizes too large for her and trailing slightly through the dust on the ground, but the hood was down. Her back was turned to the camera, and her head swivelled left and right, occasionally running to the railings to look down at the great expanse beneath her.

            He could see the side of her mouth opened in a ‘O’ shape, shocked and amazed. He knew the feeling, had felt it himself when he’d first been assigned to guard the place. It had a grand history, spreading out over thousands of years if the legends were true. Yet so many had died here, and the Palace seemed… it felt strange to say that a building could feel sad, but that’s what it was. Sad.

            Her head shot up, jerking to face the camera as though a voice had shouted out her name.

            ‘Stop!’ The masked figure shouted. Her could hear its breathing speed up, as though excited by the image of the girl in front of it. But the guard had heard the stories that followed this creature, as all on Coruscant had, and he knew that the girl may as well be dead already. It wouldn’t be tracking her otherwise.

            ‘It’s her.’ The voice whispered so quietly under its breath, the guard barely heard the words through the mask’s modulator.

            He reached up to wipe yet more sweat away from his face, not helped by the beads already gathered on his palms, and it was these small movements that reminded the masked figure that it was not alone.

            No one else could know what it had found, and in one swift and silent movement, it grabbed the blaster from its holster and shot the guard square between the eyes. He hadn’t even had time for his face to register any hint of shock, slumping over the console and hitting the buttons of the keyboard with his lifeless body. His help had at least earned him a quick death.

            The video began playing again, frame by frame, and the figure stared at it for a few seconds longer. The girl would be theirs, her bounty would pay for them to live like kings on this planet that would happily accept money in return for status. And if she could lead them to the man, the one the First Order were willing to offer any amount of money for?

            Then even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thanks as always to everyone who has commented nd given kudos to this fic. It’s awesome to see that people are enjoying it :D  
> This one’s didn't have too much dialogue, but I really enjoyed writing Rey’s thoughts about Ben here. And there’s fluff at the end, which is always great!  
> Let me know what you think. Reviews are love!!


	12. Attacks and Betrayals

Present Day…

            Poe inched forward in his seat, hoping to gain a closer look at the damage the other Squadrons were inflicting on the massive star destroyer below them. Nien Nunb had always been a master at causing trouble and the chain of explosions that lit up the ship were clearly his handiwork. It made him chuckle.

            ‘Black squadron. You ready for this?’ He asked, receiving a quick affirmative from all seven of his pilots.

            ‘We’re coming in low. I want you to take out as many of those cannons as you can before the TIEs get here. When they do, it’s our job to protect our bombers from them. Got it? And we don’t pull out until we get our orders from the General.’

            Again, they all swiftly answered his orders. There was no waver in any of their voices, every one of them ready to give their lives for the Resistance, and not for the first time Poe was struck with how grateful he was to have such people behind him.

            ‘BB-8, you ready, buddy?’ The small droid beeped a happy little response. ‘Then let’s go.’

\-----------------------------------------

            Ben and Rey’s own approach was much more sedate, though it didn’t help to put their nerves at ease. Stealth and sneaking around weren’t things Ben was used to, preferring to take a much more direct approach to matters. But he knew that a lot depended on them not being spotted amongst the many disturbances to the _Finalizers_ shields.

            They hung back, waiting until they spotted the tell-tale red streaks across the front of the ship before they made their move. Ben looked over at Rey and she nodded, her face as serious as the black outfit she had donned for the mission. It was with a small hint of pride he’d noticed that it matched his own usual black clothing perfectly.

            Their ship moved slowly towards the _Finalizer_ , hoping not to draw any attention from the TIEs beginning to flood out from the far side of the destroyer.

            Rey’s grip on the co-pilot controls grew tighter the closer they got. There was a darkness surrounding the whole of the First Order, but it seemed particularly concentrated on this one ship. This was the domain of Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo, and she feared for them both here.

            ‘Ben.’ She said quietly. ‘When we get in there, I don’t want…’

            Her voice trailed off as she considered the phrasing of her words carefully. And when she couldn’t think of a good way to say how she felt, she instead took a leaf from his book and just opened her mind to him.

            He could make out her request easily like this, feel the depth of it; she didn’t want him to kill anyone on board unless it was necessary. She’d always had a soft spot for the storm troopers, thinking that all of them were like her friend- just living their lives until some spark came to convince them that the Order wasn’t right about the galaxy.

            She didn’t know them as well as he did, he thought, but if that was what she wanted then he would do his best to adhere to her rules.

            After this, they continued in silence, as though just the sounds of their voices would get them noticed. But Rey continued to keep her mind open to him, wanting to keep him close to her to keep her fears of Kylo Ren at bay.

            And before she knew it, they’d penetrated the shields without a hitch and landed safely.

            Most of the troopers and pilots were gone, busy dealing with the chaos unfolding on the other side of the ship. From the cockpit window they could spot the skeleton crew left behind. There were only a handful, and Ben left to deal with them whilst she prepped their ship for their later departure.

            It almost seemed to Rey that the beginning of their plan was going _too_ easily, but she didn’t want to complain when things were already going so well. Even Ben seemed to be going easily on the troopers, using his powers to put them to sleep instead of reaching for his lightsaber as he usually would.

            She walked down the ramp and moved to stand next to her partner, guarding him from any other troopers that might appear, and he closed his eyes and opened his mind. She could feel his focus shift from his immediate surroundings to his mother, located safely on a ship far away from the main battle.

_General._ His voice startled Leia from the tactical map spread out on the holotable in front of her, but she kept it hidden from those around her. It wouldn’t go well for her if they found out that Kylo Ren had such easy access to her mind.

_We’re on board. Get your pilots away._ Ben felt her assent through the connection they shared.

_Thank you._ Then, she was gone, her mind no doubt distracted by some problem or another. He and Rey were truly alone now, and she took hold of his hand in support. Ben allowed himself this moment of distraction, and he brought it up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles once before dropping it and leading them both further into the ship.

\-----------------------------------------

            Poe was getting worried. There were TIEs flowing freely from the depths of the _Finalizer_ now, and the whole thing was getting to the point of being out of control. He considered calling for a retreat himself, when the static of the comm broke through the chaos unfurling within his own cockpit.

            ‘Poe, we’ve had the signal. Get your pilots out of there and head back to the ship.’ He released a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. Leia really did have an amazing sense of timing.

            ‘Thanks General. Calling the retreat now.’ He replied, and happily relayed the message onto the other squadrons.

            His own team would be the last to disengage. Their superior piloting skills meant that they were the most able to deal with any TIEs that chose to tail them, before the larger Resistance ships appeared in range and could do their worst.

            He looked out of the cockpit, seeing Blue Squadron peeling away from their attacks on the bridge. Their squad seemed to be missing about half of their pilots, and Poe knew instantly that they had sustained the worst of the TIEs defensive attacks. He took a second to scan their group, searching out one fighter in particular, but he couldn’t see it amongst them.

            It killed him to, but he forced his gaze away. He was the leader of this mission and he had to make sure as many of his pilots got out alive as possible. He couldn’t allow distractions to risk their lives.

            However, when he looked to the other side, Poe could see that Red Squadron were lingering, and he began shouting at them through the comm to disengage and leave the area. He could recognise a pilot’s need to display their heroics anywhere, and he wasn’t in the mood for any of their hotshot antics today.

            He continued to monitor their progress through the window, finally seeing them turn to leave, but minutes later he still had a frown on his face.

            He’d planned to have the squadrons fly in a much tighter formation back to the main ship, knowing that the _Finalizers_ cannons were now out of action and hoping that a larger, stronger group would discourage any First Order pilots from following them. But with the delay from Blue Squadron, there was an increasingly large gap forming between them all.

            Poe’s own Black Squadron too turned to leave, and Poe ordered his team to follow those closest to them. With Poe’s fighter the only one fitted with the tech that would enable him to quickly catch up, he raced off to help Blue Squadron.

\-----------------------------------------

            With so many officers and their troops ordered to deal with the damage inflicted by the Resistance pilots, Ben and Rey’s journey to the lower decks was almost _too_ quiet. It kept his nerves on edge to see the place so void of life, even though he could sense that there were very few others in the vicinity and had been directly told not to expect opposition.

            Even on the rare occasion that someone did go by, the couple’s black clothing allowed them to easily blend into their surroundings. The troopers had long since learned on the _Finalizer_ not to question anyone who looked like they belonged on board. The Knights of Ren had drilled that lesson into them very well.

            Yet despite the quietness, Ben could still feel the slight pinpricks at the back of his skull that signalled the other force users on board. It was fortunate for him that Rey didn’t know them as intimately as he did, and seemingly hadn’t registered their presence.

            And so, it was with very little difficulty that he was quickly able to lead her to the turbolift that would lead them down.

            He could see the furrow on her brow, as the doors opened to them, and it didn’t move from her face the entire journey down. But whatever it was that was bothering her, she kept it to herself.

            The detention level itself consisted of no more than one short corridor- an interrogation room, a few small cells and accessible by the one turbolift. Between the advanced interrogation droids, the torture methods of the Ren force users and the capital punishment the First Order leadership particularly favoured, prisoners weren’t expected to be guests on this level for long.

            Ben was sure it was only the importance of the information he held on the Resistance and his own stubbornness that had kept the Wookie alive long enough for them to rescue him.

            The turbolift doors opened, and the two stormtroopers stationed at the entrance looked up in surprise. Their training kicked in quickly, and they raised their blasters at the two unexpected arrivals.

            But before they could even get out a single word, Ben lifted his hand, tossing them both against the nearby wall. It would give them a nasty headache when they woke, but there wouldn’t be any permanent damage there.

            He looked over to see Rey still scowling at him, but he chose to ignore it. She’d asked for no deaths and he’d barely even injured them- certainly not with anything permanent anyway. But it didn’t stop him sending her a feeling of smugness over the bond at his loose interpretation of her orders.

            ‘Come on.’ She said, already exasperated with him, and headed off down the corridor.

            But there was no reason to exert themselves to sense which door he was behind, they could hear the plaintive roars of the Wookie easily now that there were no troopers around to make a noise.

            They stopped outside the cell, and with a simple wave of Rey’s hand, the door slid smoothly open.

            And suddenly, there was a massive pile of brown fur throwing itself through the newly opened space and towards them. His roar was terrifying in such closed quarters, but not as much as his enormous pointed teeth, bared directly at her.

            Both Rey and Ben responded automatically to the attack, with her reaching straight for her saber and him throwing his hand in the air and using the force to halt the Wookie’s movements.

            Chewbacca was stopped before he could get more than a couple of steps, and this moment of pause gave him time to take in who it was that had opened the door. He’d been expecting the usual group of troopers, interrogators, and droids, and he’d thrown himself at them in his almost routine bid for escape. But instead he found himself peering down into a pair of familiar hazel eyes.

            His voice rumbled towards her; it was difficult for him to form the words correctly whilst unable to move, but Rey was pretty certain it was an apology for the attack. And she gave him a big, forgiving smile in return.

            ‘Ben, you can let him go now.’ She said quietly, noticing the few beads of sweat that had appeared on his forehead from the strain of holding back something as strong and powerful as a Wookie.

            He was reluctant, but slowly let him out of the force hold, and Chewie staggered a little at suddenly having nothing holding him up. But once he’d regained his balance, one of his hairy arms wrapped Rey up in a tight hug.

            Yet as happy as she was to see him again, it didn’t escape her notice that his other hand had gone straight to his side, where there was blood matted in his fur. He also leaned on her much more heavily than was comfortable for someone so much smaller than him. It was clear that the First Order had exercised a lot of effort to try and get information from him.

            Chewie pulled himself upright with a questioning groan.

            ‘Yes Chewie, we’re here to rescue you.’ Rey answered with a smile. It really was good to see the old Wookie again, he’d been right by her side when her whole journey started.

            But Chewbacca didn’t seem quite so pleased anymore, for the first time taking notice that there was someone else in the corridor with them.

            His eyes landed on the tall man in front of him, the face so reminiscent of Han, and he couldn’t stop the anger that ran through him. Wookie’s weren’t known for being particularly complex or forgiving creatures, and the only thought that ran through his mind was the last time they’d seen each other. When Kylo Ren had put a lightsaber straight through his best friend.

            He tried to ignore the pain that lanced across his aching muscles as he gripped the young man by his throat and hauled him into the air.

            Ben saw stars as his head connected with the wall behind him, but it didn’t stop his hand from grabbing his lightsaber. The blade flew up to Chewie’s neck but stopped just short of cutting through it.

            He’d managed to stop himself, knowing exactly how Rey would feel if he’d killed the damn beast, but his hand was shaking with the effort. Everything was screaming for him to use his powers and kill the thing in one sure stroke, the adrenaline surging uncontrollably at the thought of doing so. The hairs at Chewie’s neck were being singed and turning black from the spitting sparks, but neither man was willing to back down.

            Rey only had a second to assess the situation before her. She could feel Ben’s control slipping, his need to save himself almost palpable.

            But at least he was trying. It was Chewie who needed to be controlled.

            ‘Chewie, stop!’ Rey screamed at him, but his grip continued to tighten. ‘Please!’

            She grabbed onto his arm, looking almost comically small next to the beast in front of her, and tried to get his focus away from Ben and on her.

            ‘You sent me to him once. Remember. You did it because I asked you to. You must have known there was still something in there worth saving or you wouldn’t have let me go.’ Her initial screams had died down to desperate pleas. She could hear Ben’s breathing stuttering and fading out to nothing.

            ‘Please.’ She was begging him, and Chewie knew he would have to listen to her, regardless of how much he wanted to snap the neck in his hand.

            His grip released abruptly, and Ben dropped to his knees on the floor. He was coughing violently and grasping at his throat, but at least he was still alive. Rey fell down beside him, and he could feel her relief and gratitude flowing through their bond towards him.

            She grasped his head between her hands, pressing her forehead to his temple and whispering over and over, _thank you, thank you, thank you._ She was so grateful he’d held back and not given into his urges and killed the Wookie. She loosened her grip and kissed him gently, aware that he was still trying to catch his breath in heavy, wheezing pants.

            But something caught her eyes, as Chewie slumped backwards against the wall behind him, closing his eyes in pain. Now that he didn’t have survival or revenge at the forefront of his mind, it was only pain.

            Rey released Ben gently and clambered to her feet to see what was wrong with her friend. She gently peeled away his hand, remembering Finn’s attempts to help the Wookie the last time she’d seen him injured, and took a closer look at the reddened area.

            Blood was still flowing freely; whatever the First Order had done to him last, it had been recent. He let out a pained roar as she checked further, wanting to make sure that by moving him they wouldn’t be doing him any more harm.

            There didn’t seem to be much else that needed immediate attention, but the wound on his side concerned her. Unfortunately, she had little on her that would help him, and any medical supplies they had were back on their ship. All she could do for now was to take off one of her arm wraps and tie it around his waist. It wouldn’t help his condition, but at least it would soak up some of the blood and stop them leaving a trail behind them.

            ‘Ben. Get up here and help me.’ She ordered without even looking at him, before throwing one of Chewie’s giant, furry arms over her shoulders.

            He looked up at her in astonishment. His breathing was still laboured, and he was obviously in some pain by the way his hand was still massaging his throat, but she had to work with what she had. Ben was the less injured of the two, so he would be the one to help.

            The comm on one of the troopers still lying near the turbolift began to crackle to life, A voice bled through, one that was would only become more concerned when it noticed the lack of response. They were quickly running out of time to escape unnoticed.

            ‘Don’t give me that look. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Now get up!’

            He glared at her from his place on the floor but did as she said. He threw Chewbacca’s other arm over his shoulder, and the Wookie snarled at him in return.

            ‘You’re lucky you’re not dead right now.’ Ben growled, staring into the black, inhuman eyes above him. There was such hatred there, and he had no doubt it was mirrored right back on his own face.

            Chewie was just another painful reminder of everything he’d lost, everything his father had abandoned him for and everything he’d forced Rey to leave behind all those years ago to be with him. He hated the Wookie almost as much as he hated himself at times, and had it been up to him his father’s old friend would already be dead too.

            But for now, he was a necessary part of the plan.

            Ben felt a tugging as Rey began to move and lead them back up the corridor, and he forced himself to go along with her and not resist.

            ‘Rey.’ He tried to speak, but his voice was rough and rasping and barely understandable. He went to try again but gave up quickly when he saw the smirk on Chewbacca’s face. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing the damage he’d caused.

_Wait._ She stopped when she heard the echo in her mind, and he guided them back to rest against the wall, before moving over to the unconscious guards.

            He used his powers to lift them up into the air, before walking over and depositing them into an empty cell. Hopefully it would keep anyone else who came down here from asking too many questions before he could get Rey safely away.

            He ran back, throwing Chewie’s arm over his shoulder again. Together, they managed to reach the turbolift, but even such a short distance with the heavy beast resting on them was exhausting.

_We need to get this thing back to the ship before we can do anything else._

            Rey heard him clearly but was still surprised by the words spoken over their bond. She was sure that Ben would have suggested leaving Chewie behind, so they could find the texts. Hadn’t he said before that they were his priorities?

            She gifted him with a small smile, sure that he was only saying this because he knew what the Wookie meant to her.

_I know._ She responded, adjusting the arm resting on her shoulder.

_It’s not going to be easy though. It’s going to take both of us to get him back. We might be able to blend in, but he’s not exactly subtle. If you sense anyone coming, focus on getting them to head in a different direction. We can’t afford to be seen._

            She nodded and steeled her mind for the lift doors to open. Rey couldn’t sense anyone yet, but she was certain that they would be forced to use their powers multiple times before they could reach the hangar bay.

\-----------------------------------------

            Poe caught up to the beleaguered squadron, noticing there were several TIE fighters that had torn off from the main group and followed them. The x-wings were dodging and trying to cover each other as best they could, but it was clear that the group had already taken too many hits.

            ‘BB-8, I want you to focus on the booster drive. Even if it starts to overheat, I don’t care. Just do whatever you can to keep it going.’ BB-8 beeped out his warnings, but by this point in their relationship his processors had long since relegated such things to the status of ‘obligation’. Poe wouldn’t listen and BB-8 would go along with his orders no matter what- it was just how things were.

            Poe spun his ship sharply to the right, cutting a line behind the TIEs. The speed of their approach had clearly taken them unaware as they tried to scramble round and meet this new threat head on. But they were unable to match his speed, and very soon there were two less for Poe to worry about.

            He got on the comm to Wexley, knowing the man would have the most information on the status of his team.

            ‘Wex, you there?’

            ‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.’ Poe could hear the strain in the other man’s voice, and he didn’t need to look out his window to see that the pilot was having trouble with controlling his fighter.

            ‘What’s your team’s status?’

            ‘We lost Blues three, five and six, but we’re lucky not to have lost more. Most of us have been hit pretty bad, and we need to get back to the main ship as soon as we can. I don’t know how much longer we’ll last out here.’

            Before he could respond, Poe caught sight of one of the TIEs spin round, the pilot giving up the chase to head back to the _Finalizer_. But the other had smelt blood, with one x-wing lagging slightly behind the others and making itself an easy target.

            He responded instantly, but as he got closer, Poe saw exactly whose ship it was being hunted, and his heart began to race.

            ‘Finn!’ He shouted over the comm. ‘There’s a TIE on your tail. You’ve got to lose him!’

            ‘I can’t. My ship’s shot to hell.’ A loud rumble came through the comm, followed by a high-pitched squeal and sharp burst of static that cut them off completely.

            He shouted out his partner’s name but couldn’t get a response. He was coming up close to the rear of the TIE, but without Finn’s cooperation there was just as much chance of Poe hitting him as he was the enemy. The other pilot was following closely to the trail left behind by Finn’s x-wing, trying to get off as many shots as he could. Tailing someone like that took an impressive amount of skill, and whoever this guy was, he was good.

            Poe just had to hope that Finn’s comm was could still receive incoming transmissions.

            ‘Finn, if you can hear me, I need you to listen. On my signal, make a sharp turn to the left, and head towards the main group. You got it?’ Poe spoke quickly and repeated his instructions once more.

            He ordered BB-8 to prepare the prototype drive attached to the ship. They’d only get one shot at this and he needed it to work if he was going to get Finn out of there alive.

            ‘Man, I hope this works.’ He muttered to himself.

            He flicked the switches to start the booster drive.

            ‘Now!’

            Finn’s x-wing made a turn to the left, small and awkward but it gave Poe enough room to manoeuvre. The drive kicked in, and he shot past the right side of the TIE. It only lasted for a matter of seconds, but the increased speed put him far past the other fighter.

            He gripped the throttle tightly and threw it violently to the left. His whole body was thrown into the cockpit wall as his own fighter turned suddenly, ending with him facing the TIE directly.

            The First Order pilot hadn’t expected this, and barely had time to register the new position of the x-wing before he’d been blasted out of the sky.

            BB-8 took temporary control of the ship from his friend as Poe slumped back into his seat, gripping onto his side tightly where he was sure he now had a bruised rib- at least. The droid pulled them alongside Finn’s own x-wing, and Poe could just about make out his excessive movements through the tinted windows. He had no doubt the man was cheering frantically at the save, and Poe gave a small, tired, but ultimately relieved, smile.

\-----------------------------------------

            Rey’s head jerked up suddenly, sensing a member of the Order hurrying down the corridor behind them. She was becoming so tired now that it was becoming nearly impossible to keep her senses extended far enough and for long enough to be of any help.

            She was fortunate that Ben was beside her still. She would never admit this aloud to him, but at that moment she was almost grateful for Snoke’s harsh training that had granted him such stamina when using his force abilities. The officer, who had been about to turn the corner and would have spotted them easily, out of nowhere spun on his heel and ran back in the direction he’d come from.

            She caught Ben sagging slightly in her peripheral vision, but they were almost at the ship now. Just a few more steps and they’d be in the hangar bay.

            And as the massive door opened to them, and she spotted the ship not to far from them, she finally allowed herself to drop her guard in relief. She felt so drained, and it was taking all her strength now just to hold Chewie up. He didn’t seem to be doing much better, leaning on both her and Ben heavily now and struggling to keep his legs moving.

            They took a few more steps towards the waiting ship, before they were all thrown violently to the floor.

            Rey hit the ground hard on her side, and the breath was knocked from her lungs. But she didn’t even get a moment to catch her breath before both her and Chewie were pushed further across the floor, coming to a rest behind a large stack of crates.

            She looked up to see Ben kneeling on the ground, panting hard and his hand reaching out to them, having used his force abilities to get them somewhere safer. His other already held his lightsaber and he looked to be forcing himself to stand.

            It took her a few seconds to take in the whole situation, but as soon as she spotted the storm troopers coming towards them from the other end of the bay, Rey too was back up on her feet.

            There must have been twenty of them, probably ordered to the area to check if the earlier attacks had damaged anything in this part of the ship. At any other time, they would have been easy to take down, but both force users were already exhausted from expending their powers for so long. She knew that they would have no extra energy to spend in making sure the storm troopers weren’t injured; this was life or death now.

            Rey could feel that her movements were weak and slow, and her arms felt as though they were made of durasteel. It was as though they’d had enough and were refusing to cooperate with her anymore.

            She glanced over at Chewie, who had just about managed to pull himself to sitting behind the crates. He wasn’t in any position to be helping them, even if he’d had a weapon, but at least he was safe.

            A blaster bolt scraped against her upper arm, pulling her mind back to the fight and an angry shout from her throat, and leaving a burning pain in its wake. Rey could feel the blood quickly begin to make its way down her arm, and when it hit her hand, it made her grip on her lightsaber slippery.

            The two force users tried to coordinate their movements, and they were slowly chipping away at the number of troopers. But it wasn’t stopping their enemy’s slow advancement.

            ‘Get him on board. He’s no use to the Resistance if he’s dead.’ Ben’s voice was still gravelly and rasping, but it was loud enough for her to make out his words.

            ‘Neither are you.’

            ‘I can deal with this. Now go!’ He ordered.

            Rey hesitated, she didn’t want to leave him. More storm troopers could come filing through the hangar doors at any second and then he would really need her help. But they couldn’t both head back to the ship, they wouldn’t get more than a few steps before being shot in the back.

            ‘I’m coming right back.’ She said determinedly.

            She moved over to where Chewie was lay down behind the stacked crates, not turning her back on the troopers shooting at them with increasing ferocity. Ben stepped in front of her as protection as she leant down to pick up the Wookie. He gave out a sorry growl of pain, but garnered little sympathy from her.

            He was impossibly heavy with no one else to help carry him, and she was using her very last stores of energy to even get him off the floor. Their walk to the ship took more time than was ideal in the situation and she could hear Ben at her back, shouting at her to ‘ _Fucking hurry up!’._

            When they eventually managed to get on board, she not so gently put Chewie down on the bunk and turned immediately to head back out to the fight, ignoring the protests of both her mind and body at the prospect of more exertions.

            But a sound caught her ear and she stopped for just a second by Chewie’s side. It was mechanical, a loud whirring that was too familiar. Her head shot from left to right, looking for the source of the sound. A look of horror passed over her face at the realisation of what it was.

            The ship’s ramp, quickly rising to close them both in.

            Rey jumped to her feet, running to the exit, but it was already too far closed to squeeze even her small form through the gap.

            Ben needed her; the First Order must know that they were on board by now and more fighters were surely coming. She furiously pounded her fist at the release button on the wall, but no matter how many times she hit it, nothing happened. The ramp refused to move.

            The ship began to power up, the lights of the cockpit dash flaring to life. The whole thing slowly began to rise from the ground, and Rey dashed back to see what she could do to stop it.

            She started pressing buttons, pulling levers, flicking switches. Anything to put a stop to the sequence that had inexplicably started and had her and Chewie trapped in a ship and leaving the _Finalizer_.

            But just for a moment, the air around her stilled, and her hands hovered over the dash. She could hear the sound of Ben’s lightsaber cutting through the air, reflecting blaster bolts and killing anyone who was foolish enough to try and go against him. Their minds overlapped, becoming one with each other as he continued to fight so that she and Chewie could leave safely.

            His breath came quickly, panting in her ear with the exertion of it all. If she hadn’t known better, she would have sworn they were next to each other. Her eyes closed tightly, and tears rolled down her face. She was so close, but she couldn’t reach him, and her heart was desperate for the sound of his breathing to not be the last thing she ever heard from him.

_Forgive me._

            Even with his attentions directed elsewhere, his voice rang crystal clear through the bond.

            And with his mind opened completely to communicate with her, she could sense his intentions like they were her own. This was no selfless act of saving her.

            He’d allowed her to fetch the Wookie, rather than sending her away the moment they landed on board, but that was the extent of his consideration. He had something so much bigger planned and he’d needed her out of the way, and it was why he’d sent her back to the ship.

            It hit Rey like a punch to the stomach. This was what had been bothering her since their first meeting with Leia. These were the plans he’d been working on and had kept secret from her all this time. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what they were, but she knew that they’d been wrong; it had never been about the texts.

            There was something else much more important on the _Finalizer_.

            She wanted to respond to his plea, to scream and shout and rail against his forcing her from his side. But instead she chose not to say a word, releasing her feelings of betrayal over the bond to stab into him over and over like daggers to his chest.

            The tears continued to fall down her face, but she didn’t move to wipe them away; she wanted him to feel them over their bond, as though they were running down his own cheeks.

            But she swore that would be the only reaction he would pull from her. Her silence was the thing that would hurt him the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again everyone. Thanks for all the support you've given me so far for this story. I have an extra thank you to give for those of you who've been reviewing every chapter, your comments make me laugh so much and every review I read just motivates me to keep going!  
> Finally, though, the action starts for real! Action isn't really my strong point, but fingers crossed you'll like it... And I hope you all don't hate me for the ending, it needed to be done :P  
> Please let me know what you think in the reviews (constructive criticism is so incredibly welcome too).


	13. FB: Finding the Balance

2 years 10 months earlier…

            Rey didn’t know how long they’d been sat there, but she did know that she didn’t want to move. The heat of him under her hands and his heart beating so close to her own- she hadn’t realised how much she’d needed him until now. With their bond open, their feelings became so much more vibrant and could flow freely between the two of them; it was as though her world had turned from black and white back to technicolour.

            But in spite of what she really wanted, she knew they wouldn’t solve anything this way.

            ‘Where do we go from here?’

            Rey’s voice was quiet, her question a whisper in his ear. She didn’t want to startle him; he seemed so fragile sitting in her arms.

            And for a few moments, he chose not to move, feeling at one with her yet knowing that, if she chose, it could end at any time. If he could, he’d make it so that this moment never ended. Eventually, though, he pulled back from her, and she could see the tracks that ran down his face.

            ‘That’s your decision to make.’

            ‘If I told you I wanted to leave, would you force me to stay?’

            ‘Never.’

            The answer was so certain, and she didn’t doubt him. He was so desperate for her to stay, she could almost taste the fear he was projecting out to her. Yet she knew that if she chose right now to go, he wouldn’t stop her. He’d tried to before on Starkiller, when she’d rejected his offer to be her teacher. But he wouldn’t now.

            Maybe the Jedi she’d met had been right. Ben Solo was changing. It was slow and painful, but he was changing.

            ‘I’ll stay with you.’ Her answer was a promise. ‘But this has nothing to do with the bond, or the force, or the fact that half the galaxy seems to want at least one of us dead.’

            And for the first time there was hope, mixed in with his fear and anxiety. He finally looked up into her face and she could see his eyes, blown wide with disbelief.

            ‘You’re choosing to stay?’

            She could feel the weight of his question. Until her, he’d never had someone in his life who’d chosen to stay with him. Or at least not someone who had done so for any reason other than his powers. And yet here she was, not only doing that, but doing it for a second time. Even after everything he’d done to her.

            She nodded her head lightly, barely able to believe herself that this was the choice she was making.

            ‘I am. I’m choosing to stay with you, because I want to. I think we need each other.’

            He smiled at her. It was small and weak, but so honest in its happiness. It was the smile of a young boy, one who had never been tainted by Kylo Ren or Snoke, and her hand raised to cup the side of his face. Her thumb brushed over it slowly, tracing it and committing it to memory.

            But slowly, the smile faded, and his face took on a much greater intensity. He was staring straight at her as her thumb came to rest directly on his lower lip.

            ‘Don’t look at me like that.’ She spoke quietly.

            ‘Why not?’

            He was so different now. It was like the man from just a short time ago had never existed. As though he hadn’t tried to hurt her again, and it was so confusing to see.

            ‘What happened to you before?’ The words came out before she could even stop them, and Rey could see in his eyes the moment he withdrew from her. He was shutting her out and she didn’t want him to.

            ‘I felt it before, when you…’ She didn’t want to mention what had happened again, didn’t want to see him close himself off further. ‘You can’t control it, can you? The darkness inside you, I mean.’

            There was a war going on across his face and his emotions. He didn’t want to talk about it to her, to give her any reason to feel unsafe and leave him again. But surely, he owed her this much?

            ‘Most of the time I can. Skywalker spent years training me to keep it out, though he wasn’t entirely successful.’ There was an angry smirk on his face, and his hands were gripped tightly into fists, pressed into the sides of his face.

            ‘But Snoke trained me to use it, to release it whenever I could gain an advantage from it. He wasn’t a believer in teaching control. Anything that could hold me back from mastering my powers was considered a weakness. It’s made it nearly impossible to stop it, and when it sees an opportunity, it takes over.’

            His voice became quiet, reluctant to admit his own weaknesses or that despite his demands that she _let the past die,_ he still couldn’t let go of his own. Every day it controlled him. ‘I can still hear his voice in my head when it gets too much for me.’

            Rey considered his words for a moment. She’d made a choice, and she wanted to do whatever she could to understand him.

            ‘I want to hear it.’

            His response was instantaneous. ‘No, you don’t.’

            She pulled one of his arms gently away from his head, tugging it over to rest in her lap. She was with him now, she wasn’t going anywhere, and with reluctance, he slowly opened his mind and his memories to her.

            She could see herself from his perspective, it was the night in the throne room. She could see his hand extended to her, before her own rose to meet it. The scenes began skipping as he raced through the memories, not wanting to relive them, but inside his head the voice was sharp and clear.

_‘Kill her. She will only slow you down. With her by your side, they will find you. You are weaker now, and they will kill you in her place.’_

_‘You had everything with the dark side. The power you held, it was magnificent! You should be ruling the galaxy! You are the Skywalker heir; it is your birth right. And if she will not willingly rule with you, then take her! Force her hand, you have the power.’_

            Rey snapped back to her own mind, looking around anxiously at her surroundings to prove to herself that she was back, but the voice continued to echo in her mind. She forced herself to keep holding onto him, not to pull away, but she couldn’t repress the shiver that went through her body and the goose bumps that followed in its wake.

            This man before her had been so abused for so many years, that even now his tormentor was long dead, he still couldn’t remove the voices from his head. It was as though Snoke was a part of him now.

            ‘We’re going to do something about this. Together.’ She said, her voice hard and determined.

            ‘I won’t turn to the light, Rey.’

            She could see that he was trying to train his face into neutrality, looking so much like his diplomatic mother for just a second. But his ever-expressive eyes told Rey a different story. The light side terrified him. The last time someone had tried to get him to turn it had ended with him waking to his uncle holding a lightsaber above his sleeping head.

            ‘I know. And it was naïve of me to ever think that you could. The dark and the light run through both of us, I’ve seen it. We _both_ need to learn to accept it, Ben. All of it.’

            But he shook his head violently, her answer not enough to completely dispel his fears.

            ‘And if I hurt you again? What happens the next time I can’t control myself and you want to leave again?’

            ‘I won’t.’ She swore, gripping his hand ever more forcefully between her own. ‘I… I know myself better now. This is where I need to be, because I’m the only person in the galaxy who can help you keep the balance within yourself.’

            Rey was certain in her response. He was like a child, one who needed constant reassurances that he wouldn’t be left alone again, and she _needed_ him to believe her.

            ‘You’re the only person in the galaxy who can draw my powers out. You force me to my limits and show me everything I can do. I need to keep going with this, with you as my teacher. I need you to show me how to use every part of myself, both the light and the dark.’

\---------------------------------------------------

            It took a lot of time and promises and reassurances, but Ben had finally been willing to let Rey out of his sight for long enough to go and collect her things. He’d wanted to go with her, but he needed to learn that she was her own person. He couldn’t be with her all the time if they were going to learn to be an effective team in the future.

            She took her own speeder over to the room she’d been renting for the past month. There wasn’t even that much for her to fetch, only a single bag of things she’d bought during her time away. But with how little the two of them had and the clues her belongings could leave, she didn’t think it was a good idea to leave anything behind.

            She pushed her shoulder hard into the door, forcing it open, and walked inside.

            But immediately, she could tell something was wrong. A quick glance round showed her that nothing in the room was out of place, but somehow the energy there was off. It didn’t feel anything like her own.

            She needed to grab her bag of things from the other side of the room but refused to take her eyes from the door. Her steps backwards were slow and measured, as though even disturbing the air around her would alert whoever it was that had been there in her absence. Her eyes darted left and right, looking for any traps on the ground around her as she bent slowly to pick up her backpack.

            And she straightened just a cautiously as the scant light that had been filtering through the door was suddenly blocked by two very large shadows.

            ‘Hello.’

            Two humans strolled through the door, probably men judging by the height and build, and wearing matching blue suits of armour. They almost looked like those the storm troopers wore, but with additional designs and insignias painted all over.

            Her hand slowly moved to rest against the lightsaber at her side, the other shrugging the bag further onto her shoulder to distract their attention away from the weapon. It would be possible to take them out using just her force powers, but still being so new to her skills, she felt more comfortable with something solid in her hand.

            ‘I think you have the wrong room.’ She tried to sound convincing, but they didn’t move.

            _Ben._ She spoke only his name over their bond, hoping that whoever it was that had found her hadn’t also reached him.

            His response was immediate, sensing the thin thread of alarm that had wound its way through her. She could feel his own panic rising, but she tried to push it aside, knowing it would do her no good in the situation. He was safe, and hopefully would stay that way at least until she could contact him.

            ‘So, you’re the one the First Order wants so badly.’ The trooper closest to her said.

            ‘I don’t know who you’re looking for, but you have the wrong person. I’m no one.’

            The second of the men took a small round disk from within his armour. Pressing a button, a holo flashed to life, hovering above the disk, and spinning round slowly. It was slightly grainy, but the image was undoubtedly her- probably taken from cameras placed in Snoke’s throne room, judging by the state of the clothes she was wearing.

            The same soldier walked towards her, before circling her like a predator. His mask moved up and down as he stopped behind her and took in the full length of her, and the grip on her lightsaber reflexively squeezed tighter.

            When his voice came out, it was quiet and considering.

            ‘I can see why he wants you though.’ A gloved hand came up to grasp a lock of her hair, bringing it closer to his masked face.

            The other guard had remained in place but was clearly becoming increasingly encouraged by his friend’s actions. His body was leaning forward and inching towards where Rey stood, his footsteps small and slow across the hard ground.

            ‘He? Who’s he?’

            The hand on her hair suddenly forced itself towards her, grabbing a large chunk of hair near her scalp and pulling her backwards into his body. She could feel his mask pressed into the side of her head. Her heart was racing, and her breaths were coming fast.

            She could feel the anger flowing through her, rushing into every limb. She’d been holding herself back, forcing herself not to strike while there was still a chance they would just leave, but her grip on herself was quickly slipping.

            His other hand reached around her waist, holding her to him like a snake, thinking her unable to defend herself.

            Clearly, the First Order had been withholding information.

            Rey’s saber turned the small room blue, and she moved quick as a flash to slice it across the man’s upper thigh.

            Blood sprayed across her clothing and his grip on her dropped to grab onto his injured leg. She used the opportunity to draw her blade up to his throat, holding it there as a warning. Her free hand reached out to the other guard, throwing him hard into the wall with only a quick glance from her. He fell to the floor with a sickening crunch of his armour, but she could feel that he was far from dead. Just unconscious.

            Rey turned to the man below her, could see his chest rising and falling rapidly in fear of the weapon pressed tightly to him. His skin was hidden, but she could imagine the jackrabbiting of his pulse in his throat.

            ‘Please.’ He begged. And it almost made her smile to hear his pleas. A voice in her head, the same one she’d heard on Starkiller wanted her to kill this man. He certainly would have done much worse to her had she not had the ability to protect herself.

            But she wouldn’t.

            Rey knew that she was many things, but she wasn’t someone who killed when there was another option available to her.

            She used her powers to force him to sleep, at least taking pleasure from the fact that his leg would cause him no small amount of pain when he woke. She ran for the only exit, darting through it and towards the speeder she’d left parked outside.

            But surrounding it were several more of the men, examining it and anything that might have been left inside.

            Her steps faltered, and she turned to change direction as discreetly as she could. But they’d already spotted her, one head jerking up at the sound of her, followed by another and another. A chorus of shouts rang out, and heavy footsteps began chasing after her.

            There was no time to think; she just ran.

            She was lucky to have the advantage of speed over those following her, honed after years of hard living, and helped by the heavy armour they sported. She ducked and weaved through the crowds that filled the streets, hoping to get lost amongst them, before darting into a non-descript alley off the main street.

Rey pulled her communicator from her bag, hands shaking with the exertion of running through the city and the adrenaline coursing through her. She was relieved when he picked up immediately, hopefully it meant that whoever it was chasing her still didn’t know where he was.

            ‘What’s going on?’ He demanded.

            She tried to keep her voice even, any wavering would have him doing something stupid to find her. ‘There are people here. Bounty hunters, I think.’

            ‘How did they find you?’

            She shook her head on instinct as she spoke. ‘I don’t know. But they were waiting for me when I got here. They said they were working for the First Order.’

His own answer was immediate. He’d been planning for such a situation since the moment they’d arrived on the planet. Probably even from way before then.

‘Then we need to leave. Don’t come back here.’ Ben considered their options for a moment. ‘Head straight to the ship, I’ll meet you there.’

Going back to the ship was a risky move. If they’d found her so easily, then who was to say they hadn’t also found out about the ship they’d stored in the nearby garage. But unfortunately, there was no time for their customary argument.

            ‘There!’ A masked voice shouted out from the other end of the alley, and Rey didn’t need to look to know what they were shouting about. She vaguely registered Ben’s voice shouting at her to run from the other end of the still open comm line, as she jumped up from her place against the wall and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

            As she moved back out into the main street, her head darted back and forth, searching out for some sign that would tell her exactly where in the city she was. But the whole place just seemed to blur into one enormous road filled with people.

            Blaster shots rang out behind her, and the rush of people throwing themselves to the ground caused her to fall too. There were screams all around her; some people managed to get to their feet quickly and began running from the men, but others stayed down on the floor, just hoping they wouldn’t be singled out. Whoever these soldiers were, they weren’t afraid of hurting innocents.

            Rey raised herself up on shaky arms, turning her head to look behind her. There were more of them now, explaining how they’d caught up to her. They were stepping on people in their haste to reach her, and several were already raising their blasters and aiming them at her head.

            She turned on the lightsaber still in her hand, lifting it up over herself to deflect their shots and allowing the force to flow through her and dictate her movements. Using her other hand, Rey managed to get herself back onto her feet. But she stumbled repeatedly as she tried to get through the crowds still huddling on the floor.

            These were the lower levels, there was no law enforcement to help her here.

            Shots continued to fly past her, and while her lightsaber was deflecting many of them, it seemed inevitable that one would eventually break through her defences.

            And when it did, it caught her on the side of her stomach, scraping past her from back to front. She strangled the scream that wanted to be let out and forced her legs to keep moving. With this new distraction, her focus was wavering.

            Rey continued to run, but there was only so far she could go. She could see what was ahead of her and it was the end of the market street.

            She continued, until she hit the waist high wall that marked the boundary between the market and a seemingly never-ending drop on the other side. She could hear the screams of people behind her rising into the air as the hunters came closer and closer, but there was nothing around that could help her.

            She gripped onto her lightsaber, bringing it up to her face and lighting it. She closed her eyes momentarily, collecting the force around herself in preparation. If she was going down, then it wouldn’t be without a fight.

            ‘Rey!’ A voice called out from far behind her, and she spun round to see who it was.

            An older Twi’lek man sat inside a speeder, which quickly drew closer and closer until it was hovering several feet above the ground next to her. He jumped out, running up to her as she shielded her eyes from the air being blown around her by the speeders engines.

            ‘Get in!’ He shouted.

            ‘Who are you?’ She shouted back, trying to be heard over all the noise.

            ‘A friend sent me. He told me to give you this.’ He pushed something small into her palm, a necklace of sorts. ‘Now go!’

            Rey had no choice but to listen, as the old man placed a hand on her back and shoved her towards the still hovering vehicle. She jumped inside, giving him a quick look back as he slipped into the crowds unnoticed, and sped away. She could see the blaster bolts flying past the windows in flashes of green, but fortunately she was a good enough pilot to ensure that none of them hit her.

            Typing in the location of the garage into the nav computer, Rey took a moment to relax back into her seat. As long as the hunters hadn’t taken note of exactly what kind of vehicle she was driving, she should be safe enough until she reached her destination.

            Who was the man who’d just risked his life to save her? _Why_ would he save her? Rey didn’t have any friends outside of the Resistance, and if it had been them getting involved, she had no doubt that they’d have used the opportunity to take her with them. Not to let her escape.

            She looked down into her hand, seeing the small necklace resting there.

            A pendant hung down on a black leather cord; a small, beige square with the sides cut out and patterns marking the whole thing. It looked to be hand carved, possibly by an inexperienced hand judging by the symmetry lacking in the design.

            But it was unique, and Rey could feel the warmth emanating from it. She had no idea what it was, or why she’d come to be in possession of such a thing, but she had no doubt that it was an artefact of the light side. She pulled it up over her neck, letting out a small groan as the action managed to pull at her injured side, and tucked it down into her shirt.

            It felt good against her skin, and Rey took the chance to close her eyes and sleep for a while.

\---------------------------------------------------

            Finally, she saw something she recognised. Just ahead of the speeder was the garage and from the outside at least, there didn’t seem to be anything amiss with the building. Rey reached down to her belt to grab her communicator, but the twist of her body sent a sharp pain through her side. She ignored it, continuing her search, only to find that it wasn’t there.

            She let out a groan as she remembered back to the last time she had it in her hands. It was in the alley, and she hadn’t put it back when her conversation with Ben had been cut short. She’d definitely had it when she’d started running, but it must have slipped out of her hand when the hunters had started shooting into the market crowds.

            There was a tiny part of her that hoped Ben hadn’t made it to the garage; he was going to kill her when he found out she’d lost it.

            She left the speeder outside, getting out of it as carefully as she could without causing further damage to herself, and made her way slowly across the walkway.

            There were spots of blood on the ground behind her, creating a trail right up to the main hangar, and Rey pressed her hand more tightly into the wound as she walked. She gritted her teeth against the pain and looked around for the garage manager, hoping that he would be able to tell her quickly where their ship was being kept.

            She only managed a few steps forward though, before a pair of hands grabbed her around the waist. Her instincts kicked in, and she lifted her arm to elbow him in the nose; if she was lucky she would be able to break it, even with her diminished strength.

            But one of the hands on her waist shot up to grab her arm before it could make contact.

            ‘It’s me.’ Ben whispered into her ear, and she breathed out in relief.

            Turning to look at him, she could see that whatever group it was that had been chasing her hadn’t managed to find him. He still looked terrible from their time apart and earlier confrontation, but a quick check of his face showed Rey that there were no new injuries for her to worry about.

            She sagged slightly in his arms, and his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. He pulled his fingers away from her waist, noticing for the first time the blood that coated them. His expression turned thunderous, and she could feel his anger and need for revenge vibrating through both his body and his mind.

            Rey placed her hand on his chest, hoping to anchor him to her and remind him that they had more important matters to deal with than revenge.

            ‘Not now.’ She said quietly. ‘Where’s the ship?’

            He forced himself to focus on the feel of her against him, her calming presence helping to soothe his rage before it went too far, and took her hand, pulling her along behind him. He’d already prepped the ship while he’d been waiting- it had been something to distract him and had stopped him from running out into the city in a vain attempt to find her.

            They climbed on board, and his deft hands on the controls meant they were quickly up in the atmosphere, where Rey finally had a moment to move away from the cockpit and tend to herself.

            Ben was right behind her though.

            He’d had to relinquish control of the situation and trust her when he’d told her to make her own way to the ship, and it was something he neither liked nor was used to. Especially when they’d already been apart for so long. But now that she was back by his side with her promises to stay, he was reluctant to do so again. He would be there to help her now.

            He knocked away her hands, lifting her shirt up slowly and peeling it away from the wound as gently as he could. It made her wince in pain as it pulled at the drying blood, but a quick check showed him that it was superficial. He pulled out a bacta patch from a small box of supplies, and any pain melted from her expression as he applied it to the area.

            But they had more pressing concerns, and Rey’s eyes lifted to meet his.

            ‘Where do we go from here?’

            ‘I don’t know.’ He responded. He didn’t like not having a plan in place. ‘Until we know how the First Order learned about this safe house, none of the others are secure.’

            She grabbed tightly onto his hand, her eyes full of determination and never leaving his. She didn’t need to say anything, he could feel her strength, her force of will coming at him from her side of the bond. She was pushing her feelings onto him to reassure him.

            They were in this together now.

\---------------------------------------------------

            ‘We lost them.’

            The masked figure spoke quietly into the communicator. Defeat was not something they were used to, and it was a shameful thing to be forced to admit to a client, even one as odious as this one. Around them, other soldiers in similar blue armour were waiting for commands, now that the chase was over.

            The response from the other end of the line was slow in coming, and when it did, it was angry.

            ‘You lost them?’ The man’s voice was staticky and a little difficult to understand, but it was clear that he was barely stopping himself from screaming down the line. ‘We gave you the film, the location, everything! All you needed to do was to bring them to us!’

            The figure showed no sign of movement at the anger directed towards it, though the other less experienced soldiers in the area had begun shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. Their leader levelled their gaze towards them, and they stopped immediately when they noticed the unforgiving stare.

            Their leader continued, ‘You didn’t tell me the girl was a force sensitive. Had I known, I would have sent more men after her. This is as much your fault as it is mine.’

            ‘Can I assume that you have a plan in mind to catch them again?’ The man asked, sounding slightly less angry, but more frustrated now with how things were progressing. He clearly hadn’t wanted the bounty hunters to find out about the force powers they were fighting against.

            The figure was silent for a moment, considering how to phrase their response. ‘We’re working on it now.’

            But in truth, they had no idea how to capture such a girl. They’d never fought against Jedi before. Other than the legendary Luke Skywalker and the dreaded Knights of Ren, the galaxy believed force sensitives to be a relic of the past. A myth told to children to help them sleep at night.

            ‘The resources of the First Order are at your disposal.’ The man continued. ‘Take whatever you need to find them. I want them brought in alive, do you understand?’

            ‘Yes.’ The figure understood, but they needed to be sure they had all the facts before they committed any troops to facing such an unknown threat. ‘And can I assume there isn’t any other information you’re keeping from us?’

            The man’s voice turned dark. ‘Careful. There are many other bounty hunters who would kill to be in your position, captain. I do not expect you to fail me again.’

            And with that, the leader of the First Order was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> Wow. I really wasn’t expecting such a response to the last chapter, people seemed genuinely worried! But if it makes you feel any better, you’re going to be getting a whole load of answers in chapter 14!  
> Anyway, on with chapter 13. I’m sorry for the delay, I’ve had so much difficulty with this chapter. I’ve ended up just putting one song on repeat and sitting here for the last 5 hours to edit it lol. So please let me know what you think in the reviews, I love reading your comments. Thank you!!


	14. Underestimating the Enemy

Several days earlier…

            It had taken many hours, but Rey had finally fallen asleep, the tears and barely audible words of grief finally driving her to a point of complete exhaustion.

            Leaving their son behind had been like leaving a part of themselves, and they were both suffering greatly for it. Any earlier suspicions she’d had about him had disappeared the moment they’d reached the ship, and she’d fallen into him, gripping onto his cloak as though her life depended on it.

            The pain flowing out of her had almost destroyed him, but one of them had needed to be strong, and Ben hadn’t allowed a single tear to fall as he’d rocked his partner back and forth in his arms.

            His movements were careful as he slowly lowered her to the sheets, not wanting to wake her, and he took a moment to look at her.

            She was such a strong person; so much of their time together had been a struggle, from their earliest days of mistrust to spending so many years as fugitives to her past difficulties in accepting her role as a mother.

            And she’d faced it all with her own unique blend of determination and strength and wisdom. It was something he hadn’t managed even half as well.

            But it was in these small moments that he loved her most. When her walls were down, and she allowed him to sense just how much she was hurting without the fear of him thinking less of her for it.

            The tears had left tracks on her face, her hair had come loose of the bun she’d put it in and dirt from Salis D’aar’s dusty roads was painted across her clothing in streaks. He reached out to brush his hand across her forehead, moving some of the stray hairs away from her eyes. She looked so beautiful.

            But he knew he didn’t have much time left with her.

            His only hope was that when this was all over, she’d be able to understand what he’d done and why he’d done it. It was because of his past alone that they’d been chased from one end of the galaxy to the other, and everything he was doing now was so that she and Anakin would at last be safe.

            Ben stood from the bed, making his way silently into the cockpit and closing the door between himself and Rey. He walked over to the controls and pushed in the frequency he’d memorised so many years ago. Yet where most voices came out of the comm hollow and filled with static, the voice of Duna Ren rang out as clearly as if she were stood beside him.

            ‘Kylo Ren. Always a pleasure.’ She purred down the line.

            They had known each other for a long time, going right back to the first days of the Jedi Academy. She’d been one of the first students they’d recruited, and even from their earliest meetings Ben had recognised that her powers would one day be a force to be reckoned with- if she allowed herself to develop them and not be distracted.

            Unfortunately, when Skywalker had made it his mission to root out the growing darkness within Ben, he’d overlooked his other students who, over time, had also realised the power to be had away from the light. And she had done just that, growing fearsome and ruthless, revelling in the destruction of her enemies.

            She had risen to become his second in command of the Knights of Ren, but Snoke’s unforgiving methods had broken her, changed her, just as he’d wanted them to. If anything, her instability only made her more dangerous, and Ben certainly wouldn’t be choosing to work with her if he felt he had any other option.

            And he didn’t have time for her games tonight, not with Rey so close by and the possibility of her waking at any moment.

            ‘Everything’s prepared for my arrival. You’ve sent details of your location to the Resistance?’

            It was true that the General had created a formidable spy network for herself, but The First Order had spent too many years hiding in the shadows after the fall of the Empire. It was unlikely the Resistance would stumble across the _Finalizer_ without his help.

            ‘Yes, of course. And they have no idea it was us providing the information. Though I still don’t know why you insist on having them involved at all. This would be much easier without all the unnecessary distractions.’ She replied.

            ‘You know as well as I that without their ‘distractions’, it would be nearly impossible to board the _Finalizer_ undetected.’

            His voice was final on the matter, and he could almost hear her pouting through the comm.

            Neither of them wanted the rest of the Order to know about their meeting and, fortunately for him, Duna had made it quite clear she would not be able to leave the ship without someone finding out. The ship where he was certain they were also keeping the Jedi texts.

            ‘Well, do you at least have some details for me about the attack? I’d hate for any of my men to be caught up in it and hurt. And I’ve lost too many Knights to you as it is.’ Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

            ‘No. The Resistance pilots will make for a good defence if you try something. Besides, I haven’t killed that many. You’re still here and you have plenty to spare.’

            His tone had lowered to match her own, challenging her. She may be a woman who hated to lose, but she was also someone who believed that only the strongest should survive and rise to the top. His skills had earned her grudging respect, and she sighed dramatically down the line as she conceded.

            ‘Very well then, my dearest. I look forward to seeing you again soon.’

            The line cut off abruptly, and Ben visibly sagged against the controls. Whilst he’d had a great deal of practice in keeping his secrets locked away under Snoke’s tutelage, it was still difficult to juggle so many actors at once. Especially ones that were both force sensitive and already had such intimate knowledge of him.

            But the First Order could never know the real reason he’d chosen to involve the Resistance in his plans. He could barely stand to admit the truth to himself and shied away from thinking about it too much.

            The truth that, despite how much he hated the woman, he’d included them solely to save his mother.

\-------------------------------------------

Present Day…

            Ben could feel Rey’s energy, sharpened to a fine point, and aimed directly at his own mind. The pain within her flooded through him like a tidal wave, knocking the breath from his lungs and causing a stabbing feeling in his chest that refused to move, even when he closed himself off from her.

            With his defences firmly in place, he was safer from her attacks, but he could still feel her hammering her fists against his walls. The darkness within her wanted to be released, and she wanted to make him hurt.

            But he didn’t have time for her distractions. He’d programmed the ship days ago with the coordinates for the Resistance’s main cruiser. It would take her directly there, not allowing for deviations unless they came under attack; hopefully, his previous communications would ensure that wouldn’t happen.

            His plan had been to conserve his energy on the way from the cells to the hangar, pretending to be working with her but in reality, relying on Rey’s abilities alone to keep the troopers away until the perfect moment.

            He trusted her to see them safely through the corridors but knew how much it would exhaust her when she was also bearing the weight of half a Wookie on her shoulders. Then, when she’d finally allowed her guard to drop, he’d used his powers to alert the nearby group of storm troopers to their presence.

            And now that she was safe and away from the _Finalizer,_ he didn’t need to continue with this charade any longer.

            Any outward signs of exhaustion disappeared from him immediately, his whole body seeming to grow taller as his lightsaber began swinging faster and more ferociously. It became a blur as he moved, moving closer and closer to the troopers until he was near enough to take them out one by one. He didn’t have the same concerns as Rey when it came to killing stormtroopers.

            And without this added restraint, it didn’t take him long to finish the task, bodies surrounding him on every side. He stepped over them to leave but quickly remembered that he had one last thing to do before he could continue.

            Ben closed his eyes and opened his thoughts once more, finding the blazing light of her force signature and zeroing in on the only mind in the galaxy he knew would never try and lock him out.

            Leia startled when she felt his thoughts brush up against her own. She hadn’t been expecting him to make contact again- what had happened to cause him to do so?

            _Rey is coming to you, along with the Wookie._

 _What’s happened? Are you safe?_ He could feel her concern, most of it directed towards him, but it was painful to be so close to his mother’s thoughts when she was feeling this way. She, like Rey, was another distraction he couldn’t afford.

 _Be prepared with medical assistance for them._ And just as suddenly as they had opened, Ben slammed his mind closed once more.

\-------------------------------------------

            The ship slowly came to land in the hangar bay of the Resistance’s lead cruiser and when Rey looked out of the cockpit window, she saw that Leia was already stood there waiting for her. She’d have preferred more time to gather herself and her raging thoughts, but that was always going to be an impossibility here.

            She may have once played a small part in the Resistance and saving Chewie would certainly earn her some sympathy here, but with her disappearance three years ago, a warm welcome was not guaranteed from anyone beyond her own close circle of friends.

            And so, her footsteps were slow and reluctant as she moved to lower the ramp. It hit the ground silently, yet it was only a matter of seconds before there was a team of Resistance soldiers rushing towards her. But they weren’t there for her, their eyes landing immediately on the Wookie lying prone on the bunk behind her.

            It was as if she wasn’t even there.

            It was a difficult task to move him, and it took several medics to lift him and place him on the stretcher, but they were careful and gentle throughout. After everything they’d done, Chewie was finally in safe hands and she didn’t need to worry about him anymore.

            It had been a long day, and she was both mentally and physically exhausted. She threw herself down on the bunk, wishing in vain that everyone else on board would forget about her, just as the medics had.

            ‘You should let them see to you too.’ Leia’s voice was calm and controlled as she entered the ship, and at any other time it would have made Rey feel better. But now she barely even had the energy to look up, instead just staring down at her clasped hands.

            Leia came forward to sit next to her and placed a reassuring hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. She was too polite and too familiar with the aftermath of difficult situations to just straight out ask what had happened, but Rey could still sense the multitude of questions the General had for her.

            ‘Can I just have some time to myself before it all begins again?’ She asked quietly.

            ‘I’m sorry, but the council will need to know what happened on that ship.’ Leia at least had the decency to look apologetic as she replied. ‘Obviously, I never informed them that Ben was involved in all this too, so you won’t need to go into detail. Just the basics, then you can rest.’

            There was a beat of silence between them, as Rey considered which truths she should tell and which to hide. She could tell her everything and condemn Ben further in the eyes of his mother, or she could lie and save Leia the sadness of knowing her that her son may once again be on a path away from the light.

            But when Leia spoke again, her voice was quiet.

            ‘What happened to him? Please, just tell me what happened.’

            Rey lifted her head to look into the older woman’s eyes, and she could see the tears gathering there. And she realised, that despite Leia’s words about the council needing to know, this was really a mother asking about the welfare of her child.

            No matter what the two of them had done to one another in the past, they would always be mother and son. And that was a bond Rey could understand completely.

            She began to tell the story of what had happened to them between landing on the Finalizer and finally getting Chewie back to the hangar bay, including every detail she could remember in her story. Her head fell forward as she spoke, finding that speaking to the floor was much easier than speaking directly to Leia.

            ‘We were so tired, neither of us noticed the stormtroopers there with us. He told me to get Chewie onboard. I didn’t want to leave him there, but…’

            A sob caught in her throat. Her mind had been shielding her from the reality of the situation since she’d been forced away from the _Finalizer_ , but now that she was telling her story aloud, it was becoming more real with each passing second. Leia took one of Rey’s hands in her own, squeezing it tightly, and giving her the strength to continue.

            ‘The ramp to the ship closed, and it took off. I didn’t know what was happening, I tried to get out, but he must have pre-programmed it or something. Then I heard him in my head.’ Rey could still hear his voice echoing in her thoughts so clearly. ‘He was asking me to forgive him.’

            ‘For what? Has he gone looking for the texts.’

            Leia shuffled closer in her seat. Although there was no one else around, some things just felt too dangerous and too important to speak about in a normal voice.

            ‘No. There’s something else. The texts were an afterthought- he doesn’t want the First Order to have them, but he doesn’t want them for himself either. There’s something else on that ship he needs.’

            Something that she could feel in her heart was dangerous for him.

            And whatever it was, it was something he hadn’t wanted her to know about, no doubt something she would have disapproved of had he mentioned it to her.

            Her hands turned into fists at the thought, the nails digging grooves into the soft skin of her palms. She hated him so much. Hated him for planning all of this behind her back. Hated him for putting her in this position where she had to try and explain his choices to his mother. And hated him for keeping her in the dark, even now.

            But she could feel deep within herself that whatever it was he was doing, he would need her help.

            ‘I have to go back to him.’ Rey announced, and she leapt to her feet. The exhaustion rushed over her in a wave, causing her to sway a little, and she reached out for one of the straps hanging down from the ceiling.

            Leia quickly got to her own feet, holding out a steadying hand so the other woman wouldn’t fall to the floor, but she was waved off. She had seen before how stubborn Rey could be, a trait she knew she too possessed, and her voice turned imploring, hoping the words would be able to get through before she did something stupid.

            ‘You can’t. We don’t even know if he’s _on_ that ship anymore, let alone where.’

            ‘I can’t just leave him.’ Rey’s voice burst out in an angry shout.

            ‘We have no choice. We can’t save him!’

            Rey paused, her mouth opening and closing as she realised what had been said.

_We._

            She had always known that she was not the only person in the galaxy who cared about what happened to Ben. But it took her much longer to realise that she was the only person who knew exactly _how_ to help him.

            And it wasn’t by storming in and hoping for the best, but by keeping the things that mattered most to Ben, not Kylo Ren, safe from the First Order. It would be the only way to get him back if her worst fears were realised, and he had turned once more.

            ‘You’re right.’ She made her way forward to the cockpit on unsteady feet, throwing herself into the pilot’s chair and inputting her destination. ‘Send me the coordinates for the Resistance base. I’ll meet you there.’

            ‘Rey, I’ve already told you, you can’t leave.’

            ‘Well, I am. I don’t know what Ben’s done, or how long it’ll be before the First Order are looking for us again. But I can’t just sit around here waiting for them to arrive.’

            ‘You need to rest!’ Leia was insistent. _As a mother ought to be_ , Rey thought.

            But there was no time for sleep now. She could rest later, on her way to Salis D’aar.

            ‘I _need_ to get my son. I don’t care if the council try and shoot this ship out of the sky, I’m going. You know what happened on the _Finalizer_ now, and you know how to handle the Resistance. You can choose what you want to tell them.’

            Rey continued with her pre-flight checks as she spoke, but Leia didn’t move. She eventually stopped, a sigh escaping her and her fingers hovering over the controls, before she turned in her seat to look directly at the woman still stood behind her. She needed her to believe that, no matter what, she would do what was right, for both herself and Ben.

            And if she was to get out of here in one piece, then she also needed the General to greenlight her departure.

            ‘Please, just trust me.’

            Within minutes, Leia was stood outside the ship, watching the steam billow out as it slowly lifted from the ground. The small communicator attached to her wrist began to beep frantically as the council received word of Rey’s unauthorised departure, but she quickly overrode their concerns with assurances of her own.

            Rey would come back to them, she was sure of it. And hopefully this time, she would bring her son and grandson back with her.

\-------------------------------------------

            Ben navigated his way through the ship once more. It was so much easier this time round without Rey serving as a distraction. She was gifted in the force, and a strong partner, but it didn’t mean he could ever stop himself worrying about her.

            He stalked through the corridors, and he could feel the familiar pulsing sensation thrumming at the back of his mind. The Jedi texts were calling out to him, just as they had when he was a child and Skywalker had presented them to him for the first time.

            It had been their sole purpose for so many months, going through each lesson hidden away inside, every force ability, every ritual, and painstakingly translating them page by page.

            Rey had even accused him once before of only agreeing to this mission because he wanted access to the Jedi texts. But he’d never told her that even now, in the rare moments that he could meditate and clear his mind enough to do so, he could still remember so much of what he’d been taught.

            He’d spent years suppressing the knowledge, knowing how much more powerful it made him and hiding it from Snoke, so his memories weren’t complete. But they were enough that the ancient books were not his priority aboard the ship. He would fetch them after, if only to get them out of the hands of the Knights of Ren.

 _Kylo…_ A voice began to sing his name inside his head. Thankfully, a force bond had never been created between him and his former second, despite their lengthy history, but there was certainly enough of a connection that Duna could catch his attention easily over such a short distance.

            The chanting continued, getting louder and louder the closer he came to her. When he finally reached the Knight’s training room, it was like a drumbeat echoing in his head.

            Ben stopped outside, centring himself for a moment before he pulled his lightsaber from his belt, gripping it tightly in his hand. Hopefully he wouldn’t need to use it here.

            The door slid open smoothly, the room accessible only through the unique powers of force users, and she was on him in an instant.

            Her twin blades flew through the air towards his head, and it was only his lightning fast reflexes that spared him being cut clean through. He lifted his leg, kicking her hard in the stomach and forcing her away from him, but her force abilities meant that she didn’t travel far.

            She leapt at him again, determined not to give him any chance to gather himself after her initial attack, but he didn’t need it. This time he was ready.

            Her fighting style had always been aggressive; her inability to step back and plan ahead the reason why she had never once beaten him in combat. And now, when her blades swiped once more towards him, he twisted his body round. They hit the end of the blade squarely, so close to his hand he could feel the additional heat prickling at his knuckles.

            But the cross guard protected him well, and as he spun, her own blades became trapped by it and were forced from her hands. They clattered noisily to the ground, the red fire searing blackened grooves into the floor, and they both stood for a moment staring at each other.

            Duna took several steps back from her former commander but made no move to retrieve her weapons. They both knew that if she suddenly needed them, it would take only a split second for them to once again be in her hands. Besides, for the fight to be over so quickly, she clearly hadn’t been trying.

            Snoke had taught them well and over time, simply attacking one another on sight had become almost the equivalent of a friendly greeting within the Knights.

            His eyes raked her over, as hers did to him in turn. It had been three years, yet it was as if he’d only been gone a day. She was short for a Chiss, but when it came to force sensitivities, size rarely mattered. Her blue skin still gleamed under the low lighting, and her eyes still shone a beautiful ruby red, as piercing as they ever were.

            And her grin was almost predatory as she stalked back and forth in a short arc in front of him.

            ‘How I’ve missed you, Kylo.’ Her voice was deep and sultry. He remembered that she’d always had a particular twisted love of drawing her targets in using both it and her body, before taking them down without a hint of mercy.

            ‘I wish I could say the same.’

            He knew her too well.

            ‘Oh, you were always such a tease.’

            Her smirk hadn’t moved an inch, but he refused to allow himself to be drawn in. To give in to his anger and attack her would be to lose the game. ‘I’m here to talk.’

            ‘And we will. But first, why don’t you tell me all about that lovely woman you were with. Rumour has it that she’s rather the fearsome little thing when she gets going.’

            Ben’s grip on his lightsaber tightened in reaction. There was no way the other Knights didn’t already hold a great deal of knowledge about Rey, but it still felt wrong to hear someone who was such a large part of Kylo’s, not Ben’s, life speak about her.

            ‘She’s none of your concern.’

            Duna’s steps towards him were slow, measured, calculating. She wanted his eyes solely on her, and she certainly had that. But where she thought he was admiring her, in truth he was reluctant to take his eyes from the snake for even a second, knowing the ferocity with which she could strike out at him.

            A firm hand on his shoulder encouraged him to bend slightly, and her words were whispered softly into his ear.

            ‘Would you not rather have me instead, darling.’

            His mind was screaming at him with how wrong this was, and his rage grew at having someone other than Rey so close to him. He force pushed her away from him, gritting his teeth and trying to tamp down the growing hatred blazing within him.

            The smirk on her face only grew. This was all a game to her, as everything in life was, and it was becoming ever more difficult to keep himself in check.

            ‘You don’t want me to know more about her, yet you brought her along with you anyway. I wonder what she’s been doing to get you to agree to her demands so easily.’

            Ben continued to breath deeply, drawing on what he’d learned from both Rey and Skywalker to try and calm down. He reminded himself that for now, she was essential to his plans, repeating the words in his head like a mantra.

            But he knew he would derive great pleasure from killing her once she’d outgrown her usefulness.

            ‘We don’t have time for this. I’m here with an offer.’

            She pouted at him. ‘Spoilsport. Go on.’

            ‘I will. But first, I need to know what information Hux has on you and the other Knights? What’s keeping you tied to him now that Snoke’s dead?’

            For the first time, her face looked shocked. The smirk finally died away, and she took an unconscious step back from him.

            ‘Excuse me?’

            ‘I know you Duna, perhaps better than anyone in the galaxy.’ He could hear her blades rattling against the ground, as though she was calling to them without even knowing it. She didn’t like to be on the back foot, and her reactions had only confirmed all his suspicions. ‘And I know that having Hux as Supreme Leader must be eating away at you. He isn’t even a force sensitive. He’s nothing compared to us.’

            Duna noticed her responses to his words and instantly straightened herself, making herself look more confident than Ben knew she was.

            ‘If you truly knew me so well, Kylo, then you would know how much I enjoy taking care of my own problems. If I wanted him dead, then he would already be dead.’

            ‘Then why isn’t he?’ He took a step towards her, where she now stood unmoving. She was no longer the predator. He had her exactly where he wanted her.

            ‘The Knights would tear themselves apart without something forcing you all together. Your dark side allegiance compels you to rise, to seek out power and fight for it. Snoke had enough control to keep us in one piece before, but now he’s gone.’

            His voice lowered, and his words were quiet, speaking as though to a wounded animal. ‘I’m here to help you to get rid of him.’

            ‘And what do you want in return?’

            The one thing that would ensure he had enough power to keep his family safe.

            ‘Once Hux is gone, I will be named the new Supreme Leader.’

            Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open.

            ‘Why would I agree to that? I already control the Knights of Ren, and as you’ve already said, I’m not one to share power.’

            Just a few more words. Just a little more encouragement and he was certain she would start coming around to his terms. He imbued his words with his powers, lacing the two together and winding them through her mind with a subtlety only a master could achieve. He was so close.

            ‘Exactly. Which is why it’s obvious there is something holding you back from going further. You spent years fighting for control of the Knights, and every time you failed against me you just came back stronger and more determined. Your pride wouldn’t allow you to be the pawn of someone who isn’t even trained in the ways of the force. You need my help.’

            There was a beat of silence, and he was certain she would agree to anything he said now. He could feel it, her determination to be free. She would do anything for it now…

            And then her smile returned.

            ‘For someone so intelligent Kylo Ren, you truly are a fool.’

            He was confused. He’d felt it, he’d felt her acquiescence to his demands. But then right before him her whole demeanour had changed.

            And now he could feel her mental walls dropping, only slightly, and her true feelings leached into his mind. She’d been playing him all along. Everything, from when he’d first contacted her up until now, had not been according to his plans at all, but to hers. She’d won, and all he could do in return was to stand there silently.

            But she wasn’t finished rubbing his nose in his defeat yet.

            ‘Hux is a puppet. He’s a distraction. We were recalled after Snoke’s death, and of course he tried to have us killed the moment we stepped foot onboard. Yet within hours, the Knights of Ren had taken complete control of the First Order. We kept him in power for the sole reason that he would draw attention away from us.’

            She looked directly into his eyes. ‘Tell me, when the Resistance first approached you, did they have any knowledge of us?’

            She was right. The Resistance had more intelligence on the First Order than just about anyone in the galaxy, and even they hadn’t known the Knights were still operating. They’d just naturally assumed the group had died out with Snoke’s demise. It had only been his and Rey’s assurances that the Knights were still a threat that had convinced them to turn their eyes away from Hux.

            But if she didn’t need him, then why was he even still alive?

            ‘If that’s the case, then why did you even agree to meet me?’

            She shrugged. ‘You said you had something interesting to share, and I was interested. I must admit though, I’m somewhat underwhelmed. You were much more fun when you were one of us.’

             He was almost at the end of his patience with her, and he dropped himself down into a defensive position.

             ‘Then what’s to stop me killing you right now?’ He lit his blade, the red casting a menacing glow across his features. They both knew who was the better fighter of the two of them, and yet she still didn’t appear to be afraid of him.

            ‘In the time it would take you to strike me down, I could have every Knight of Ren on this ship here. You’re a formidable warrior Kylo, but do you truly believe you could take down all of us?’

            ‘I’ve done it before.’

            Her smirk turned to a snarl. His arrogance was infuriating. She reached out her arms and turned her head, just for a fraction of a second, to call her blades into her hand.

            But it was enough time for Ben to sense her intentions. While he had been holding his anger in check this whole time, it had taken just one comment from him to turn her murderous. And it was why she would never truly win against him.

            With her focus distracted by the blades, he threw out one of his hands, flinging her across the room like a doll. She hit the far wall with a sickening thud, and he held her in place for just a moment before dropping her in a pile on the floor. She lay there, motionless.

            He had every intention of heading over there with his saber and finishing the job but forced himself to hold back. He didn’t know how long he had before the other Knights noticed her consciousness missing from theirs and came to investigate, and he needed to be long gone by then.

            He opened his senses, allowing the pulsing of the Jedi texts to fill his mind once more, and walked from the room.

            -------------------------------------------

            ‘What happened?’

            A tall Nagai man had walked into the room, his footsteps slow. Duna knew he’d felt the exact moment when she’d struck the wall, yet he hadn’t rushed to help her. It was the way it had always been in the Knights. Only the strongest would survive and any chance to rise to the top would be taken without mercy.

            ‘Nothing.’

            She dragged herself up from the ground, struggling to regain her feet after an attack that would have easily killed a normal person. She could feel something warm and touched a finger to her temple, finding the blood collecting there and flowing freely down the side of her face. Her mouth twisted into a smirk.

            ‘Are you following him on the monitors?’

            The man’s eyebrow raised minutely, as though surprised she’d even needed to ask him such a question. But she continued, either not noticing his scorn or not caring about it.

            ‘And you left the texts somewhere he can find them?’

            His affirmation had the same tone as the few other words he spoke, as though it were bored of the whole situation. But again, she ignored him.

            ‘Good. Then prepare our ships. We must be ready to attack.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Finally, the chapter so many of you have been waiting for lol. Hopefully, this has explained Ben's reasons for leaving and some of what's been going on! My only worry is that there may be a bit too much exposition- I had to fit a lot of info in this one, so I apologise for that.  
> As always, thank you to everyone who's been commenting and handing out kudos. The response has been amazing so far.  
> So, whether good or bad, pretty please let me know what you think in the comments :D  
> Thank you!!


	15. FB: The Blue Suns

 

2 years 4 months earlier…

            ‘Get on board. Now!’ Ben was screaming at her over the roar of the ship’s engines. The amount of thrust required to launch even a small ship like theirs threw sand up into the air in great swirls, blowing into her eyes, her hair, and high above her head.

            Yet the blaster bolts coming from the hunters in front of her could still be seen clearly through the debris being kicked into the sky, the sounds of their shouts and the banging of their armour plates knocking together getting louder as they edged closer and closer to her position.

            They’d been in the marketplace when the wave of uneasiness had washed over them both and with only a glance of confirmation between them needed, they’d cut their supply mission short to return to their ship. Unfortunately, they’d been so low on the necessities that there had been no option to leave behind what they’d already bought. They’d already pushed their living situation as far as it could go and wouldn’t have lasted more than a day or so otherwise.

            Ben had boarded the ship, firing up the engines to leave as she’d been stowing away the last few boxes. That was when the first of the troopers had begun firing on them, uncaring of the civilians dotted around, and Rey had stayed on the planet’s surface to ensure those few near enough had not been in the line of fire.

            But now, she could feel the not so gentle tugging on her waist, urging her back towards the ship. Ben was unlikely to outright force pull her onboard, not unless he believed her life to truly be in danger, but it was still frustrating. The man could be so detached at times, yet at others he was possessive to the point of madness. She wondered how it wasn’t obvious to him that she had everything under control.

            Until a few seconds later, when a bolt flew past her face, barely a hands width away from taking off the end of her nose. Suddenly, she was much more accepting of Ben’s earlier assessment of the situation.

            It was time to leave.

            She began to walk backwards, careful to keep her senses open to the ground at her feet and any possible obstacles that might trip her. The ship behind her was slowly lifting from the ground, and when she sought out Ben’s mind, she could feel that he was already sat at the controls, impatient for her to be in a place where she would be safe.

            It wasn’t until she’d made it onboard, using her force powers to propel her jump higher than an ordinary person could have managed, that she finally caught sight of the carnage below.

            Through the whirl of sand, she could see that more of the Blue Suns had joined the fight. There was a mass of them still shooting through the dust cloud, but the ramp had already begun to close on them. Only a handful could see well enough to notice that she was no longer on the ground, but the few shots they managed were deflected easily enough with a flick of her saber.

            With a final hiss of steam, the ramp locked into place, and she turned her back on it all and made her way further into the small ship.

            It was just one of many that they’d traded for- when the bounty hunters saw and identified a ship, their only option was to find a different one. It also meant that she didn’t feel guilty when she shucked the sand from her hair and cloak all over the floor. It would be someone else’s mess to clean up soon enough.

            She took a moment to straighten herself out, and headed towards the cockpit, planning to give Ben a hand with piloting the ship. He didn’t need it, but Rey had always found flying to be the perfect way to calm herself after a fight. There was something she found relaxing in losing herself to the movements of the control stick and the flickering of the lights on the dash.

            However, they’d already reached a safe enough distance from the planet for the autopilot to be engaged, and before she could reach him, he brushed past her.

            But he didn’t go far, barely making it more than a few steps before he turned to punch the wall. Yet the thud of bone against metal never came. His fist had stopped, barely a hairsbreadth away from its target, and his whole arm had gone rigid. He wrenched it, trying to pull it out of the invisible grip it was held in, but it wouldn’t move.

            Because Rey had felt his frustration flowing through her own body, building quickly during the fight. Her own reluctance to listen to him and board the ship earlier had only stoked the flames higher.

            She’d known what he was going to do, even before he had, and had used her force powers to stop him before he could break his fist on the solid metal. They already had enough problems as it was and trying to find a medic in this part of the galaxy would just bring more unwanted attention to themselves.

            ‘Calm down.’ Her voice was low and quiet, soothing him and providing a calming balm to his emotions. It took time, but it was only when she felt he’d sufficiently relaxed that he wouldn’t try to injure himself again that she eventually released his body from her grip.

            Ben shook out his hand and threw himself down at the small table in the corner of the room. He began scratching his fingernails across the grating of the table top, as though even sitting still was too much for him amid his frustrations. There was silence, as Rey chose to give him the chance to get out whatever it was that was eating away at him this time.

            Eventually he chose to speak, but his voice was barely more than a low growl. ‘We’ve been running for six months now, and every time they find us. Millions of planets in the galaxy, yet they always know exactly where we are.’

            There was a pause. His eyes didn’t leave the table or his ever-moving fingers, until suddenly, his hand turned into a fist and he slammed it down. ‘I’m done!’

            Rey could hear the leather glove creaking as he squeezed his hand tighter and tighter, trying to regain control of his anger and frustration.

            She gave a small sigh and moved to stand behind him. Her arms draped over his shoulders and came to cross under his chin, and she leaned her head down to rest beside his. She could feel the warmth of his cheek pressed against hers, and even in his anger it was a comfort to them both.

            It was moments like this that Rey realised how much closer they had become over the past half a year of running, having learnt from their mistakes on Coruscant. They made planetfall regularly, though never in the same place twice, and kept a close and constant watch on each other’s emotional states.

            It was still difficult, being forced to share such close quarters with another person, but they’d both gotten used to each other. Small points of human contact were becoming more regular and less confusing for them.

            He turned his face slightly into hers, theirs noses almost brushing. When he spoke this time, his voice wasn’t raised in anger, but it hurt Rey more to hear hints of defeat lacing through it. ‘I’m done.’

            She closed her eyes, holding him close for just a moment longer. She’d been expecting this response at some point. Running wasn’t in either of their natures, but for a man who had spent his life fighting, she knew it had been particularly difficult. He lived every day with the desire to kill all of them threatening to break through the surface of his balanced exterior.

            He’d fought the urge for her, and for that she was grateful. But he wasn’t the only one living with a darkness living inside themselves. She could feel it, desperate to fight back against anyone who tried to harm them and desperate to show the First Order and their hunters that they weren’t going to be easy targets.

            She finally allowed a small smile to grow on her lips. ‘I was wondering when you’d finally say that.’

            Rey lifted her head and extended one hand out behind herself. An old, banged up holopad floated through the air and she took hold of it without looking. Pulling it in front of their faces and tapping it a few times, a strange symbol flashed to life on the screen, one that she’d seen so many times emblazoned on the armour of the bounty hunters. She tossed the pad down onto the table in front of him.

            His eyes flicked down to focus on it, the three-dimensional symbol spinning slowly and menacingly around and around on the screen.

            ‘They’ve had the upper hand for too long now, and they’ve made it quite clear they don’t plan on leaving us alone. Not until we’re dead anyway. Personally, I’d prefer that didn’t happen.’

            Without another word, Rey allowed him into her thoughts, using the opportunity to practice opening parts of her mind to him, and he quickly grasped onto what she wanted him to see. Her plans were vague, but the intentions behind them were clear to see. She wanted to turn the hunters into the hunted.

            Ben wanted the same thing.

            He reached out to touch the holopad, and with a few more taps the spinning blue sun disappeared, replaced with a stream of information. Anything they’d been able to find out about the mercenary group, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant the information was, had been carefully collected and recorded.

            But it still wasn’t enough.

            ‘Without knowing where to find their leaders, there’s no point to any of this. We’ve taken down enough of them by now to know that the ones on the ground are easily replaced. We need more information.’ He said.

            Rey had already turned her back on him, inputting coordinates into the ship’s navigational system. ‘And I know exactly where we can go to find that information.’ She replied.

\----------------------------------------------

            Ben’s earliest memories of this place were not fond ones. As a child, the imposing building had terrified him, causing him to grip his father’s hand tightly and hide behind his knees from the countless species he’d never seen before. The turrets had cast long shadows across the ground, and the flags crossing the sky in the courtyard had flapped angrily in the strong winds, as though motioning for him to leave.

            But now the turrets were gone, the flags torn down or burnt through by blaster fire. The attempts to repair the castle were extensive, though primitive, with walls shoddily put back together and light streaming through the holes left behind. Only the huge wooden door seemed to have come out of it all unscathed, and it closed behind them with a resounding thud.

            Several patrons turned to look at the newcomers, but with their hoods pulled down to shadow their faces, it didn’t take long for people to lose interest in them. No one was interesting unless they were valuable.

            Except to Maz.

            The small, orange skinned alien made her way across the packed cantina towards them, weaving through packed tables and lumbering beasts many times her size with ease. Her skin was wrinkled and ancient looking, her clothes worn and covered in stains that had been there for years.

            Yet despite her diminutive stature and outward appearance, she had a presence to be reckoned with. Those who noticed her instantly moved to let her through, averting their eyes so as not to draw her attention yet leaning their heads closer to hopefully catch a few words of the conversation she was about to have.

            She came to a stop in front of them, her hands on her hips and looking straight up into their covered faces. Her own was hard as she looked at Rey, a poker face perfected over the many centuries she’d been alive. But as she turned to Ben, the expression in her eyes turned from stone to ice; she knew exactly who he was.

            He’d hoped that the fact she hadn’t seen him in well over 20 years might have hidden his identity at least until they were in private.

            But there was no such luck.

            ‘You.’ She hissed. ‘You have some nerve coming here.’

            Feeling the anger radiating from her in waves caused his own to flare. It was a defence his body had perfected, and when he spoke his voice was low. ‘If it was up to me, I wouldn’t be within a thousand systems of this place.’

            Her response was automatic, ‘Then leave.’

            But they knew all too well that they couldn’t. Maz was practically the only person they knew who the information would have they needed to find the Blue Suns. The only other option was Leia, and the chances of Ben agreeing to contact his mother were non-existent. They had no other choice.

            Rey stepped between the pair and pushed Ben back a little way behind her, hoping to diffuse the tension a little by serving herself up as a distraction. But Maz wasn’t so easily calmed.

            ‘And you. You’re supposed to be dead.’

            Rey lost her composure for just a split second, her brows furrowing as the comment caught her off guard.

            Why would Maz have reason to believe that she was dead? The Resistance knew that she was alive. Or at least they had when she contacted Finn six months beforehand, and she doubted they had reason to believe otherwise.

            But there was no time for her to consider it further, and she schooled her expression back into one of neutrality. They hadn’t travelled half way across the galaxy to Takodana to discuss their personal lives. There were more important matters.

            ‘We need your help.’

            Maz released a quiet laugh, but it wasn’t friendly. It was full of sarcasm and mocking and derision.

            ‘The last time I offered you help, you ran away. And do you remember where you ended up?’ She nodded her head at Ben. ‘With him. Why would I offer a second time?’

            Rey considered her answer carefully before slowly lowering herself down to her knees. Maz would accept nothing but sincerity and an honest answer from her, and it was what she deserved.

            ‘I was scared. You knew my history, yet you were trying to throw me headfirst into a world and a fight I didn’t understand. You can’t blame me for wanting no part of it. But now…’ She glanced quickly up at Ben and saw that his eyes and every part of his attention was focused on her, before returning to Maz ‘Now I’m where I need to be. I don’t regret where the force has lead me.’

            Maz was silent but nodded solemnly as Rey finished speaking.

            ‘He asked me to look out for you, you know. But it’s not just you anymore. And I have no reason to want to help him.’

            Rey almost growled in frustration. Maz was fond of the her, and she was so close to a result, she could sense the woman’s resolve crumbling. Her voice was pleading. ‘Then don’t do it for him. Help _me_.’

            Maz looked up at the boy in front of her, lifting her glasses from her face and resting them on top of her head. He was determined not to return her gaze, but she didn’t need him to to be able to read him like a book.

            Han had been a good man. People often said that Maz didn’t have any kind of moral compass, allowing any thief or smuggler through the doors of her castle as long as they had the money to pay for their drinks. But she’d liked Han. And despite his many obvious flaws, he certainly hadn’t deserved the end he’d gotten in life.

            ‘Please, Maz.’

            Maz shook her head, as though she couldn’t believe she was even entertaining the notion of sitting down and helping them. And when she looked up, it was as though she had aged even further in the last few seconds, her voice reluctant and exhausted. ‘Follow me.’

            She lead them through the throng, once again weaving between tables with the grace and skill of someone who’d made the same movements thousands of times before. No stares were directed at her this time, but rather the two humans following closely behind her. Ben pulled his hood down further over his head.

            Whilst the face of Kylo Ren was not well known, thanks both to the mask he’d worn for so many years and the frequency with which his meetings had ended with the deaths of those involved, his features were pronounced.

            And his scar certainly counted as a distinguishing feature.

            So, it was with some relief that Maz lead them into a small side room, rather than simply emptying one of the tables in the main hall as she usually did for unexpected guests.

            They took their seats around the small, circular table inside, but the eyes of the small alien were constantly darting across Ben’s face. Maz had made her opinion of him clear, but this went beyond that, as though she expected him at any moment to jump up and pull his lightsaber on them all.

            With what happened the last time he was on the planet, Rey couldn’t blame her too much for her behaviour.

            ‘So,’ Her piercing eyes finally settled on Rey, ‘Why are you here?’

            ‘We need information.’ Rey pulled the holopad from inside her cloak, and on the screen appeared the image she’d become all too familiar with over the past few months. The blue sun was still spinning, the ray’s radiating from the centre circle sharp and pointed like knives.

            ‘Do you recognise this symbol?’ Maz pulled the holopad closer. ‘It belongs to a group of bounty hunters calling themselves the ‘Blue Suns’.’

            She frowned. ‘Oh yes. I recognise it. They used to make planetfall here quite often to get information. But then they started getting a bit too… aggressive… in their negotiations with my patrons and I was forced to ask them to leave. A nasty bunch, those ones.’

             ‘We know. They’ve been chasing us across the galaxy for months now. Whenever we make planetfall, it’s a dice roll whether or not they’ll already be waiting for us.’

            Rey sighed and threw herself backwards in her chair, rubbing her hands over her face violently. The whole thing had kept her on edge for months, and it was equal parts exhausting and infuriating.

            But Maz continued. ‘And you want to know how they’re finding you?’

            ‘We already know.’ Ben said. ‘They’re being paid by the First Order. We found this on one of them a few months ago.’ He flicked something down into the centre of the table, and Maz was quick to grab it up. She adjusted the magnification on her glasses, and her head tipped from side to side as she examined it closely, but there wasn’t much to see.

            ‘A First Order communicator. The materials are good, but not good enough quality for command. Must be used solely by the stormtroopers. Looks to be standard issue.’ She mumbled to herself, before looking up again. ‘How do you know they didn’t get it somewhere else; there’s plenty of them going around if you know where to look.’

            ‘Because this one’s new. See the markings here?’ He pointed to a series of barely noticeable series of letters and numbers on the underside of the device. ‘New communicators like this are worth more as scrap parts on the black market. Better to break it down than to sell it to bounty hunters.’

            Maz’s earlier suspicions and open hatred seemed to melt away for a moment as she became caught up in the mystery behind the communicator. Her eyes had lost their wariness, and her whole body was slowly leaning forward in her seat, angled towards her guests, and completely lost in interest.

            ‘What if they just took it straight from a stormtrooper?’ She suggested.

            ‘Possible, but unlikely. There are a lot of people that want to see me either captured or dead.’ Maz’s gaze caught on him momentarily, but he chose to ignore the pointed look and continue. ‘But the bounty the First Order are offering will be by far the most. The Blue Suns wouldn’t risk angering them by killing off their troopers, not for the sake of a few communicators.’

            ‘A few?’

            Rey folded her arms on the table and jumped back into the conversation. ‘That’s not the only one we’ve found. And they only ever seem to be in the hands of their captains. The rest of them are still just using old tech.’

            Maz was impressed. It seemed that they hadn’t been exaggerating when they said the attacks had been near constant if they’d had chance to examine multiple bodies, yet they were still here. Not only had the rumours about Rey not been true, but she seemed to be blossoming in her new environment. She wasn’t a scared little girl anymore. But this train of thought only lead Maz to confusion.

            ‘It’s interesting. But I still don’t see how this could involve me. Or why you’re here and asking for help.’

            Rey glanced over at Ben, and he didn’t need her to speak to understand the silent question she was asking him. She wanted to fight, and she wanted to be sure that he still did too. His nod was small, but enough for Rey to feel comfortable with continuing.

            ‘We’re done with running. We’re taking the fight to them, and for that we need to know where their base is.’

            Maz’s response was instantaneous.

            ‘No.’

            Rey’s face was a picture of astonishment. She’d seen Maz allowing them further entry into the castle as a sign of acquiescence, that any further protestations she might have would be just for the sake of her pride. But her answer then had been dripping with determination, a reluctance to get involved once again.

            Yet Ben seemed unsurprised.

            Maz slowly reached forward, unfurling Rey’s arms and taking one hand between her own gnarled fingers. ‘You know, there are maybe a hundred people out there in the hall with ties to the First Order. Some may have hunted for them, some may have spied. And once gained, it’s a difficult connection to drop.’

            Rey squeezed the hand gripping hers tightly. She allowed the force to flow through her words, knowing that it wouldn’t work on the ancient alien yet comforted that at least she was giving everything she had to convince her.

            ‘Which is why we’re asking for your help. You know how powerful they are. They have half a galaxy at their disposal. We only have ourselves to rely on.’

            Maz looked directly at the child in front of her, staring at her with the same intensity Rey had seen her do to others. She forced her body to keep still in the chair, rather than squirming awkwardly under the older woman’s gaze.

            ‘Han was fond of you, you know. He told me that you had something special, something he hadn’t seen since…’ Her voice trailed off as she glanced over at Ben. His hands jerked on the table; he hadn’t been expecting the conversation to suddenly turn in such a direction. They automatically clenched into tight fists, as they always did when any mention of the late smuggler appeared.

            Yet, the darkening atmosphere in the room had no effect on Maz; she’d lived too many years to be affected by the temper tantrums of someone so young. And when she spoke, her voice was calm and soothing, her small gnarled fingers covering Rey’s hand and stroking softly.

            ‘If you truly need help with this, child, then you already know who to turn to. She’ll always be waiting for you.’ Her gaze fixed on Ben’s fury filled face. ‘Both of you.’

            ‘No.’ The word was low, shot through with hatred and venom. And all Maz could do was shake her head at the boy before her. A boy who had the stubbornness of both his parents running through him.

            ‘You cannot spend the rest of your life running from the past, Ben Solo. Eventually, it will find you.’

            Ben didn’t say a word. He held the anger back, forced the darkness deep enough down inside himself that he could get to his feet and walk out of the room without igniting his saber. Despite how much he wanted to.

            The door slammed shut behind him.

            Rey wasn’t concerned though. He would calm down eventually, and as long as she could still sense his physical presence nearby then she didn’t need to worry.

            ‘We can’t go to Leia. Ben would never let me go on my own and taking him along would only put her in danger. He’s been working on his self-control, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to test him right now. It’s too early.’

            The girl was the only person who knew Ben Solo as he was now, and Maz was forced to agree that she was probably right. The boy still had too much rage and hatred and regret in himself to be trusted around the leader of the Resistance. Yet Rey seemed to have a calming effect on him, balancing him and helping him to control his innate abilities with the dark side of the force.

            Was it too much to hope that at some point in the future, the girl may even bring balance to the force? And to Ben Solo?

            ‘Okay. I will tell you what you need to know child.’

\----------------------------------------------

            Hux’s office on the Finalizer was an empty and hollow place, a place designed to encourage maximum efficiency from its occupant and nothing more. Covered entirely in the blacks, whites, and reds of the First Order, it was a huge room with only his desk at one end and a large, round conference table in the centre.

            The noise from the engines and the natural hum that came with any ship was non-existent in the space, and the silence was a useful tool in making his subordinates feel uncomfortable and afraid, and cowing them into submission. It made Hux smile when they began to sweat in the stillness, fidgeting with their collars and shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

            Behind his seat was an immense window set into the wall of the ship, running the entire length of the room, and providing a panoramic view of whatever part of the galaxy they happened to be in at the time. It showed just a glimpse of the empire that Hux truly believed he alone had created.

            But for now, he wasn’t alone. The leader of the Knights of Ren stood immediately to his left. He’d offered her a seat when she’d first entered but, just as her predecessor always had, she’d refused. Unlike Kylo Rent though, she didn’t maintain her distance, and preferred to stand as close to him as she could, her small form looming over him and casting a long shadow.

            Hux could feel her hand stroking gently through his hair, and he couldn’t hold back the shivers that shot across his skin at her touch. She petted him as one might an animal, not the leader of the greatest empire the galaxy had ever known.

            But as the update from the captain of the Blue Suns filtered through the communicator on his desk, her hand paused at the base of his skull.

            He’d had time to learn the woman’s tells, not that she was one to keep her emotions to herself, and he could sense the anger even without the mystical force powers the Ren’s possessed. Her nails became talons as they unconsciously dug deeper and deeper into the soft skin of his neck, but he made sure to keep the pain to himself.

            Her actions were distracting though, and it took him several moments to realise that the Captain had finished speaking and was now waiting for a reply. Duna Ren leaned down to whisper in his ear, though her fingers never let up the torment of his skin.

            ‘I will not wait any longer. Tell them I will send my Knights to them to aid in the search.’

            Hux relayed the information to the Captain, but the response he received made it obvious that they were unhappy with this new development. ‘My mercenaries answer only to me. There will be no one else in charge of this operation, we can handle it.’

            ‘The money we have given you so far Captain has been enough to outfit your entire operation and keep it running for many years to come.’ The other end of the line was surprisingly quiet as Hux continued. ‘We have provided you with the best tech as well as every scrap of intelligence we have gathered. Yet you have failed. They have eluded your men multiple times and you seem no closer to capturing them than you were six months ago. Is my assessment of the situation correct Captain?’

            The line hissed and crackled for a moment, a strange echo of the atmosphere in his office. But when the Captain’s voice eventually made it through the static, their voice was as clear as the feelings behind it. They were livid.

            ‘You did not give us all the information until you were forced to. And the fact that we are still going, against two powerful force users that we were not warned about, shows that we are the best. I’d like to see you find a group half as good as ours.’

            Hux opened his mouth to speak, but from the corner of his eye he caught sight of a hand being raised in his direction. Duna Ren took a deep breath in, forcing control over the anger that flowed through her constantly, just as she’d been taught to do by her master. She leaned over Hux, silencing him with her movements before he could speak.

            ‘If you wish to continue with this arrangement Captain, then I suggest you accept the deal we are offering you. Because I swear to you, if you break away from the First Order now, I will hunt you down myself. I will find you, I will tear every single one of you apart and I will spread you across the galaxy.’

            The response was quick and angry. ‘Who the hell are you?’

            From his position below her, Hux could just see the edges of the smirk covering the Knight’s face. She was enjoying this, intimidating a bounty hunter she’d never even met. And while he still believed that her and her kind should be torn out of the galaxy with extreme force, he at least admired her for this.

            Where Kylo Ren had done only what was necessary to appease Snoke, Duna Ren did exactly as she wanted.

            ‘I warn you that Kylo Ren and the woman he travels with are not the only force users left in the galaxy. You will submit yourself and your forces to the command of the Knights of Ren, is that clear?’

            For the shortest of moments, Hux thought the Captain may be stupid and impulsive enough to challenge the Knight of Ren. But then the beat of silence was over, and their answer rang out loud and clear.

            ‘Yes.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again everyone!  
> Before anything else, I just want to apologise for the serious delay. I know it’s been forever since my last update, but a family emergency forced me to fly home and stay for a while. As you can imagine, I haven’t been able to make writing a priority with everything going on in real life.  
> But as for now, all seems to be quiet again and I’m finally back to continue this fic :D  
> As always though, thank you to everyone who’s commented, bookmarked, subscribed and given kudos. It’s really gotten me back in the mood to write and motivated me to keep going with this.  
> So, thank you again, and let me know what you think in the comments!!


	16. Let Me In

Present Day…

_Rey_.

            He’d been searching for hours, but even so, Ben once again stretched his mind out across the thousands of systems, desperate to sense her and feel her again.

            Their souls were connected through the bond, and everything was dull when she wasn’t there. It was as though all the colour and the light and the warmth had been bled from the galaxy, leaving him as only a husk of himself.

            But wherever she was, he couldn’t find her.

            Her powers had been gradually growing over the years they’d been together, so slowly that at times he’d barely even noticed the changes within her. But to see her now able to shield her presence from him so completely was both terrifying and magnificent.

            He fought harder against the blindness, putting all his strength into the bond and one final burst of power, but even after hours and hours of meditating, there was still nothing. She had hidden herself well.

            He released his breath in one long blow as he threw himself backwards in his chair, and a series of small, metallic clangs echoed through the ship. Ben quickly turned and saw that anything that had not been fixed down was now haphazardly scattered across the floor.

            He’d put all his focus into finding Rey, and consequently it seemed that his powers had manifested themselves into actions without him even realising it. His lack of self-control was another frustration in itself, and he slowly pulled himself out of the pilot’s seat to deal with the chaos.

            The First Order ship he’d stolen to make his escape from The Finalizer had been traded the moment he’d found a planet isolated enough to do so without raising suspicion. But the ship he’d gotten in return was practically a junker- the best of a bad lot on a planet that saw few outsiders and even fewer that had anything to trade.

            But it was at least a safe space for him to use as he planned his next move.

            He’d made a plenty of mistakes, that was undeniable. He’d underestimated the power the Knights of Ren wielded and overestimated that of Hux. And if they didn’t before, the First Order now knew for sure that he was alive. His connection to Rey had also undoubtedly made her a target, especially in the eyes of Duna Ren, and to top it all off he had no idea where in the galaxy she could be.

            He’d known that bringing her along on his mission and revealing her to the enemy had been a gamble, but he’d hoped to at least have something to show for the risk rather than just an ever-expanding list of his own failures.

            No, he needed Rey by his side. But how could he do that if she wouldn’t let him in?

            His mind worked quickly. If she wouldn’t let him come to her, then he would need to force her to return to him.

 ----------------------------------------------

            The very moment that Ben’s ship made contact with the planet’s surface and the ramp had finally lowered, he was off, striding towards the dusty streets ahead of him. His cloak was on and his hood up, but in that moment, he couldn’t have cared less who saw him.

            Being cut off from Rey had put him on edge. His lighter emotions felt less without her and allowed the dark to reign, and his senses had become much duller; it made him vulnerable, and this in turn made him much less likely to be patient or merciful. He didn’t plan to stay on Bakura for long, but anyone who tried to stop him would feel the heat of his lightsaber on their skin.

            Fortunately, though, there were few people darting around the streets at night, and he reached the small home quickly. But before he could lay a hand on the front door, it opened slowly on its old hinges. He pushed it open further to see Syndal already heading back inside, and all he could do was follow behind her.

            ‘He’s not here.’ She said, and a thousand possibilities raced through his head. He instinctively reached down for his saber, but his reaction was no surprise to Syndal. She threw herself down heavily into an old chair in the corner of the room and waved her hand at him dismissively.

            ‘There’s no need for any of that nonsense. He’s safe. Rey arrived before you, took him away with her.’

            Ben searched his feelings and could easily sense that she was telling the truth. He pulled his cloak firmly back over his weapon.

            ‘And did she say anything whilst she was here? Where she was going, perhaps.’

            ‘Sorry, but she told me not to tell you anything.’ Syndal said with a small smile, ‘Not that there’s anything _to_ tell.’

            She became silent but continued to stare at him from the other side of the room; it was a look that reminded him too much of the looks Maz would give him when he was a child. A look that seemed to say that she could read his mind, and whatever it was that she’d found, she wasn’t impressed.

            ‘So, what did you do?’ She asked.

            ‘What makes you think I did anything?’

            One sarcastic eyebrow jumped up towards her hairline. ‘Because I know you.’

            He forced himself not to roll his eyes at her. The old bat knew next to nothing about him, yet she liked to convince herself that she was the ultimate knowledge in the universe. That no one could escape her all seeing eyes.

            ‘I only tried to protect her.’

            ‘And it backfired?’

            Ben merely raised an eyebrow at the old woman in response.

            She looked away from him, as though indifferent to the fact that he wasn’t giving her anything. ‘Sounds like you’re not planning on giving me much of a story. But it doesn’t matter to me, I’m not here to judge you.’ But he knew from experience that it was eating her up inside to not be in the know, and it gave him a sick kind of pleasure to know that Rey had also not been willing to tell her anything.

            ‘Though I do wonder why you’re still here, listening to me, when you already know that she isn’t.’

            Ben contemplated whether he should even answer her. She made him feel as though he were a naughty child being asked by his mother to think about his bad behaviour. But he had to admit, throughout her many years Syndal had gathered enough of an understanding of the force that there was a chance she might just be of some use to him.

            ‘I can’t find her.’ He started. ‘She’s closed herself off from me completely, and I have no way to counter that. Even if I knew which area of the galaxy to search, I’m not sure I’d be able to breach her defences.’

            'Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to teach her how to shut you out.’ She smirked at him.

            ‘I didn’t. Somehow, she already knew how to close the bond between us. She’s strong with the force, stronger than she knows.’

            Syndal rubbed her finger over her mouth for several moments, thinking over the possibilities. ‘Then maybe she isn’t the one you should be searching for.’

            He frowned at her suggestion. ‘Who…?’ There was no one else he was close enough to, that he shared a bond with, who he might be able to track. No one except, maybe…

            ‘Anakin?’ She nodded ‘But that wouldn’t work, not without some kind of tangible connection. The only reason I’m able to track Rey at all is because of the force bond and how much time we’ve had to strengthen it.’

            ‘And you don’t think there’s a bond between you and the boy. I should think you would know better than anyone how strong the bond between a father and a son can be.’

            Ben took a step forward menacingly but forced himself to ignore her barbed comment. In her own twisted way, she did seem to be trying to help him, even if what she was saying didn’t truly make sense.

            ‘He may be powerful, but he’s still just a child. His presence in the force isn’t strong enough yet for me to track him with any sort of reliability. It would never work.’

            She shook her head in exasperation. ‘Don’t doubt me. Just try it.’

            Her words didn’t leave him any more convinced, but he closed his eyes anyway. Maybe when this didn’t work, it would finally put pay to her mistaken belief that she was never wrong.

            He breathed deeply, focusing his mind and bringing up thoughts of his son.

            Anakin’s force signature was imprinted on him, a perfect blend of himself and Rey that he would recognise even deep in a sea of a trillion other beings. He held within him the darkness that plagued his father, and the light that guided his mother. The two were entwined like the strands of a rope, in a way that would hopefully, one day, become a perfect balance of the force…

            And there he was. Far across the galaxy.

            Yet where Ben had expected to sense barely a flash of his son’s energies, Anakin shone out brightly like a star. A beacon to guide his father home.

            Ben pressed further, desperate for more, but something gave him pause. Rey had clearly tried to shield the boy, and it worried Ben how easily he made his way past her defences. If only she’d only let him in, he could check on her himself, instead of being forced to rely on her actually taking care of herself for once.

            But that was something that would have to wait until he found them. For now, he was focused entirely on his son. He was a light so brilliant that Ben would easily be able to follow it, and he wrapped himself in the feeling of Anakin’s presence around him, happy to once again be a part of his family.

            Yet despite his desire to stay for longer, he knew that he couldn’t. Anakin couldn’t be allowed to notice his prying, and so Ben reluctantly retreated from his son’s mind.

            And as he slowly opened his eyes, he was greeted by something much less pleasant than his family- Syndal’s smug grin levelled right at him.

\----------------------------------------------

            She needed a plan. And she needed to find a place where Ben wouldn’t be able to find them- at least until she knew for sure what his intentions were.

            Rey was lay on her side across the small bunk, trying to find any energy to move. She’d been assigned a room to herself upon her return to the Resistance, and they were being treated well, no doubt at the General’s order, and one of the engineers had even gifted Anakin some of the larger and less damaged spare parts from the garage to play with. He was sat on the floor, his back to her, but she could hear his small laughs as the parts floated through the air, occasionally banging into one another.

            His happiness relieved some of her concern. It meant that he wasn’t being distracted, that there were no voices in his head but his own. The mental shield she’d created for herself and extended to him seemed to be working well enough at keeping Ben out.

            For now, at least.

            ‘You know, he really does look like him, doesn’t he?’ The voice startled her, and she lifted her head from her pillow. She’d been so caught up in her own world, Rey hadn’t noticed the door open and Finn walk into the room.

            He came to sit beside her and caught her small smile at the ridiculous comment, ‘I mean, from the back at least.’

            Finn was right. Anakin’s hair was jet black, still short but thick and with small waves going through it, and his ears were larger, sticking out a little more than they should beneath his curls. It made Rey’s smile grow a little larger.

            ‘You should see him from the front. You’d never even know I’d been involved.’

            He smiled back at her, and for just a few moments they just enjoyed each other’s company in peace. From inside that little room, it was easy to forget they were in the middle of a war.

            ‘I’m glad your back.’ He said. ‘I know, it’s not exactly under the best of circumstances. And I know you’d probably rather be just about anywhere else right now, but I can’t help it. You were my first friend and I missed you.’

            ‘I missed you too.’

            He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side, and it made her feel guilty for what she was about to say to him.

            ‘But we can’t stay here, Finn. It’s just not safe, for any of us.’

            His face fell, as she knew it would. He deserved so much more than a friend who kept disappearing and leaving him behind. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t risk Anakin around anyone I don’t know. He’s too powerful and one day people are going to start noticing what he can do. Power like that, there are those who will want to use him for it. I trust Leia to try and stop them for now, but we both know that she won’t be around forever.’

            ‘But surely the Resistance is still the safest place for you. We have weapons and supplies and ships. And how do you know that Kylo won’t find you if you leave?’ His voice was pleading, and all she could do in return was to try and make her own as reassuring as possible.

            ‘I don’t think that can be stopped. I’ve shielded Anakin for now so he can’t track us. But if he wants to find us, he’ll tear apart the galaxy to do it. I’d rather we were far away from here when that happens, I don’t want anyone else dying for us.’

            There was a pause as Finn considered her words.

            ‘And what if I come with you this time?’

            She pulled back from him in surprise. Of all the ways she’d seen this conversation going, this had never crossed her mind.

            ‘No, Finn. You have a life here now. You have friends, and a family. I’d never take you away from all that. And what would Poe say?’

            ‘You’re right, I know. I-’

            ‘Tell me about him.’

            ‘You really want to know?’ Rey gave him a small nod.

            Finn’s face instantly brightened at the thought of telling his friend all about his partner, and his happiness was infectious as the smile on his face even managed to raise Rey’s own spirits.

            ‘He’s… where to even start? He’s reckless and crazy, and he actually seems to enjoy scaring me half to death with his stunts.’

            ‘He probably just wants to see how much you care.’ She joked. She couldn’t help but think that his description reminded her of someone else she knew very well.

            ‘Probably.’ He smirked back. ‘But nothing makes him happier than being in the cockpit of a ship. When he’s flying, Rey, you should see his face. It’s complete happiness, like the whole galaxy just falls away and… why are you smiling like that?’

            ‘I’m just thinking that his face probably looks a bit like yours does right now.’ She reached out to take his hand in hers, stroking her thumb gently over the back of it. ‘I’m glad you’re happy.’

            Her gripped her hand tightly in return. ‘And what about you? Are you happy?’ Her smile dropped.

            ‘I was, when it was just the three of us. Ben and I, we spent so long running. It took everything we had just to keep each other alive. Even when we found out about Anakin, we couldn’t stop. There were still people out there who knew about us and would do anything to see us dead. And then, when we were finally able to win some peace for ourselves, we get drawn back in. Sometimes I can’t help but think that this all inevitable. That this is just what are lives were made to be.’

            She pushed past the lump forming in her throat and forced herself not to think of their little home, on their little planet in the middle of nowhere.

            ‘I don’t believe that, Rey. You know…’

            Finn suddenly stopped speaking and shuffled forward on the bed to get a closer look at her face. ‘Hey, are you okay? You really don’t look so good.’

            ‘I’m fine.’ She said, wearily, rubbing her free hand across her forehead. ‘Cutting myself off from him just…’

            Rey had no idea how to even begin explaining the bond that she and Ben shared, or its effects on her physically.

            ‘…It changes things, Finn. Ben and I, we have a bond, a bond that connects us through the force no matter where we are or what we’re doing. And when two force users share a link like this, it’s difficult to just stop it. I’m sorry, it’s hard to explain.’

            His face scrunched up, partly in concern and partly in disgust. ‘So, is he in your head, like all the time?’

            His simple attitude to it all made her smile. ‘No, it’s not like that. It’s-’

            Anakin’s head suddenly shot up from his toys, as though someone were calling his name, and getting her attention immediately. He squealed in delight, clapping his hands together, and several other smaller objects in the room began to lift into the air. He instinctively turned towards his mother behind him, before picking himself up and crawling over to her.

            Rey pulled him into her arms, holding him close and gently pushed her own mind into his to see what was going on. And it took her only a moment to realise that hers was not the only outside presence there.

            ‘Ben knows where we are. I can feel him inside Anakin’s mind, he’s tracking us.’

            ‘I thought you said you were shielding the kid from him?’ Finn asked, panicked.

            ‘I am. I thought we’d have more time.’ She looked over at him, feeling the need to explain herself, ‘He’s been doing this a lot longer than me, he’s had a lot more practice.’

            ‘How long do we have until he gets here? We can go now and get you a new ship and supplies from the hangar. I’m sure Leia will clear you both to fly if you explain what’s going on.’

            Rey closed her eyes, focusing her mind on the voice in her son’s head. It was barely even noticeable, but she could feel it getting stronger with every second that passed.

            He was close.

            And when he noticed her presence beside his own, she could feel him trying to latch onto her mind as well, forcing her to retreat to a different battle ground.

            Rey slowly lowered the defences on her mind, only a small amount, but enough that she could once again feel the bond that linked them. The relief for her body was instantaneous, but any happiness from this was instantly destroyed by what she sensed of him.

            ‘No. There’s no time. I was too distracted. I didn’t notice him soon enough, and now he’s too close for us to run.’

            It caused her legs to tremble to feel the assault of his emotions on her own. The rage she felt coming through was difficult to keep at bay; it wanted nothing more than to force itself in and infect her own mind.

            She looked over at him. ‘Go. You know your way around the base better than me. Go tell the General that he’s coming now.

            He moved to leave the room, but she grabbed his arm and spun him back to her. ‘And tell her that I can feel him. He’s angry, so angry. I can’t think of a better way to explain it, but I don’t know if they’ll be able to control him when he gets here. Tell them that everyone on the base needs to be put on high alert.’

            Finn nodded at her, before running out of the room. It was just a few minutes later that she heard the alarms blaring throughout the base, and she hugged Anakin closer into her chest.

\----------------------------------------------

            Ben threw himself down on the bunk, seating himself beside the texts. He’d set the ship to head in the direction of where he could sense his son, but he was in no rush to get there. Anakin seemed content for the moment, and the longer Rey had to calm down, the less violent her reaction would probably be when she saw him again.

            He looked down at the books by his side. Their call was no quieter now than it had been before, and his fingers were practically twitching with the effort of holding himself back.

_Ben, Ben… Beeennn… Sooolllooo…_

            He turned and grabbed the book closest to him, barely even taking note of its fragility, and rested it in his lap.

            It was sudden, the sounds surrounding him all dissolved into nothing. The hum of the ship’s engines, the quiet beeps coming from the cockpit, even the call of the books themselves, all gone. He stroked one hand over its cover slowly, before tearing off his glove to feel it completely with his fingers. The sense of familiarity washed over him.

            Ben did not allow himself to think of the last time he’d held these books with his own hands, the memories of countless nights spent silently working with his uncle out in the unknown regions of the galaxy.

            But he did allow himself just a moment to connect with them, to feel once more as he did when he was a child, first discovering more of his heritage, that which came with his force powers. These books were only a tiny part of something so much greater. Something that encapsulated the lives of not only himself but his whole family, the whole galaxy, and spanned its entire history.

            Ben took a deep breath and moved to open the book, fingers careful not to damage it any further. But before he had the chance, the entire thing flipped open, pages flying until it stopped suddenly at one very specific entry.

            He looked around, but could see no one else on the ship, could sense no other force presences that might have caused the book to open. And then his eyes landed back on what was in front of him.

            It was only small, barely even filling the page. But it seemed to be about… it took him several moments to translate the title in his head, _Force Bonds._

            In his experience, there was no such thing as coincidence in the galaxy, and his eyes widened in realisation. Someone, or something, wanted him to see what was written on this page. Only this page.

            Ben leapt from the bed, running to grab an old data pad from the cockpit before grabbing the book and throwing himself down into a meditative pose on the floor. He would need his mind completely clear if he wanted to retrieve more of the ancient language from within his memories.

            The sounds of the ship once again dropped away, and he was left with only the silence surrounding him and the page in his head.

            It took time, but slowly, fragments of the text began to make sense to him. Words were starting to jump out and catch his attention, _Light, Love, Connection, Energy._ Some parts he couldn’t translate, no matter how hard he focused on them, yet he was able to discern their meaning from the context.

            Ben didn’t know how long he had been lost to his meditation, but when he finally opened his eyes again, they were aflame with his barely controlled rage. He slowly got to his feet, just as several of the bulbs at the opposite end of the cabin exploded, raining sparks down on the floor.

            He knew he needed to get a tighter grip on his anger, but his mind wouldn’t allow him peace as it kept going over and over the contents of the text.

_‘The creation of a force bond requires both great energy and great power if it is to be unnaturally forged. It cannot be built upon nothing. It demands that a primal connection must already exist between those being bonded. It is the strength of this connection, joined with the strength of the master involved, that will determine the strength of the bond._

_It is the domain of the light to forge a bond such as this, as a bond can only grow through the love and familiarity of two beings. The powers of the dark could never hope to know and influence such matters.’_

            Ben released the breath he’d been holding, trying to rein in his feelings and the maelstrom tearing through his mind. Learning about the mechanics of a bond creation was useful, but it was not this information that he kept returning to.

            It had never been Snoke. He had only lied for his own twisted pleasure.

            Luke had been the source of their force bond.

            He was the only person in the galaxy who had the kind of power necessary to create such a thing. Snoke had been aligned firmly with the dark side, and while Luke had made many fatal errors in his life, the man was light through and through.

            But something still wasn’t adding up, and it was difficult for him to think rationally when he felt how he did.

            The foundations of their bond had been set when he and Rey had seen inside each other’s heads on Starkiller. It had allowed him to see her history, and her to gain intimate knowledge of his training and skills.

            But Luke couldn’t have known any of that. Rey had told him before that when she’d first arrived on Ahch-To, his uncle had had no idea who she was and had wanted nothing to do with her. He’d turned her away. And it was only after that that they’d first seen each other through the bond.

            Something had happened between Starkiller and that meeting to make Luke want to join them together permanently. To cause him to blow the bond wide open.

            And then everything fell into place.

            After the Resistance had possession of the map, and Skywalker’s location, someone must have made contact with him and told him what had happened. Someone that Rey trusted enough that she would tell them about the interrogation and the connection that had been formed from it. And Ben had learned long ago that there was only one person in the galaxy that Luke would follow without question.

            He took a firm hold of the controls, closing his eyes and finding the light of his son to show him the way back to his family.

            Ben may have tried to protect his mother from the First Order. But now, she would be lucky if he didn’t kill her himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone!  
> Long-time, no see! I’m sorry for the radio silence on my part. Here, we’ve had major earthquakes and typhoons and everything in between, so getting in the mood to write has been difficult.  
> Thank you for the kudos and comments. They really do encourage me to keep going with this fic, even when sometimes I just want to slam my laptop closed and give up :D  
> So, let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks!!


	17. FB: Altercation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone!  
> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. You're all so kind and I really do appreciate it!  
> So, let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks!

2 Years 2 Months Earlier…

            The rock shifted under her fingertips as she slowly peered her head around the edge of the wall. She wiped away the sweat collecting on her forehead with her other hand, cursing the humidity, and pulled out her binoculars.

            One soldier guarding the hole on the East side of the building. Another, reclining on the wall above him. Neither in a position to use their weapons at short notice if they happened to be ambushed by two powerful force users.

            Rey put down her binoculars to input her notes into the datapad. For such an infamous and supposedly deadly mercenary group, she was so far unimpressed.

            For the past two weeks she and Ben had been separated and scouting out the Blue Suns headquarters by themselves, making note of numbers, guard positions, weaponry, and anything else they could find out that might help them in infiltrating the building.

            It was a task made more difficult by the fact that they could only act during the day. All varieties of criminal flooded the city at night, using the enormous maze of rubble and destroyed buildings as the perfect cover for their illegal dealings.

            And looking up, Rey could see that after just a few hours the sun was already beginning to set over the city. Why couldn’t the mercenary group have just chosen a planet with longer days? And just like clockwork, she began to feel the familiar tugging on her mind, telling her to wrap up whatever she was doing.

            In front of her was a security camera on the wall, one of many dotted around the perimeters of the compound. It was one that, thanks to Rey’s interference thirty seconds before, was no longer working.

            A staticky crackling came through the first soldier’s comm link, and he had to bang it against the wall several times before a voice finally managed to break through.

            ‘Dill? You there?’

            He grunted in response.

            ‘Camera forty-two is down. Go check it out.’

            Another grunt, and the soldier reluctantly got to his feet.

            Rey took another look at the datapad she was carrying and noted that between her disabling the camera and the soldier heading to fix it, there was about a forty to forty-five second window. She just hoped that when it came down to it, it would be enough time for her to sneak inside.

            Collecting her equipment, Rey pulled away from her spot and clambered down from her perch on the upper floor of an old house.

            It was a long run to the outskirts of the city, where their ship had been well hidden within a series of rocky outcroppings, but she didn’t mind. It gave her time to relax and unclutter her mind, and the feeling of the breeze against her skin was the perfect balm to the planet’s humidity.

            Besides, after two weeks spent hunkering down in corners every night, hoping not to be spotted by the locals, Rey was looking forward to sleeping in a proper bunk again.

            By the time she reached the ship it was already dark, and she could just make out its hulking form amongst the shadows. The door slid open loudly, and she slipped inside.

            What was immediately obvious to her was that Ben had been masking his force signature before, because now the feeling of him surrounding her hit her like a tidal wave. It felt more like home to her now than even the Resistance had in her short time with them, and she allowed herself a moment to draw strength from it.

            ‘Did you get what you needed?’

            His voice brought her back from her thoughts, and walking into the main hold of the ship, she could see him in the cockpit, his back to her.

             ‘Everything is on there.’ Rey threw her datapad down on the table. ‘And it’s good to see you too.’

            He turned his head slightly to look at her, and she just caught the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It caused her to smile in return, and she walked over to where he was standing, laying one hand on his shoulder. He had his lightsaber in his hand, a small screwdriver poking out the hole that ran the length of the black casing.

            ‘What are you doing?’ She asked.

            ‘Checking the wiring.’

            ‘Have you been having problems with it?’ She gently took the saber into her own hands, looking into the hole at the many various wires within. ‘It looks fine to me.’

            ‘I know. But something’s going on at the camp, and I want to be prepared.’

            His smile disappeared, his face turning pensive. She closed her eyes, feeling the anxiety and pent up energy radiating from him in waves, as well as his attempts to conceal it. She dragged her arm down from his shoulder, over his back, and left it circling his waist.

            ‘We have time, Ben. They have no idea that we’re here, and as long as we’re careful we can spend as long as we want scouting their camp.’

            ‘No.’ His voice was firm. ‘The number of mercenaries based in the city has dropped drastically in the past few days, and I haven’t heard anything about a mission important enough that it might be pulling them away.’

            ‘That’s not good.’ She murmured against his arm.

            ‘No, it isn’t. Which is why we’re moving on them tomorrow.’ He pulled away from her and headed into the main hold, leaving her standing shocked, arm still outstretched, in the middle of the cockpit. Eventually she regained her voice and ran after him.

            ‘Tomorrow? Ben, that’s too soon.’

            He pulled out a small holo projector and placed it in the middle of the table. A plan of the area began to spin slowly in front of her, but it wasn’t like the ruins that existed there now.

            ‘Do you recognise anything?’

            She looked through the hologram at his serious expression, bathed in blue, and rolled her eyes at him. He clearly had no plans to listen to her objections. And she’d learnt from experience that all she could do now was to try and stop him getting himself, or even worse, both of them, killed.

            Focusing on the map, it took her a moment to understand their position. It had clearly been made before the attack that had turned the city to ruins, so while the buildings were generally in the same places, they looked completely different.

            ‘This one.’ She pointed to a large house on the projection. ‘There’s an entrance here, but large parts of the walls have been destroyed, which means that it’s easily defensible from the inside. There are two guards on it at all times, increasing to four during the thirty minutes when they change over.’

            He nodded.

            ‘And this one,’ She pointed to another portion of the map, ‘has multiple security cameras to deal with the height of the building. The mercenaries themselves can’t get up there easily, but the cameras alone give them a good view of the area around it.’

            They spent the next several hours talking over the map, pointing out areas of importance and collating all the information they’d each managed to gather on their own, until they were finally prepared with a plan.

            ‘I’ll go in from the South,’ Ben pointed out his route on the map, ‘and take this street straight up to the main courtyard. That’s where the main command offices are located.  We’ll meet there.’

            She was confused.

            ‘We can cover more ground and clear out more of the mercenaries if we split up and take separate paths. Then there will be less reinforcements for them to call on if things go wrong.’

            He pushed a button on the base of the projector and the map disappeared, and it took Rey a moment to adjust to the darkness around them. The ship was old and to save energy there were only a handful of small battery powered lamps dotted around to light it.

            ‘And less of them to come after us when we’re done.’ He added as an afterthought.

            That caught her attention, and his intentions were clear. ‘You’re going to kill them.’

            ‘Anyone one that I find.’

            She wasn’t surprised and she didn’t need to explain her thoughts on the matter; they’d had the same conversation multiple times and she had yet to change his mind. He walked over to her, placing his hands on her upper arms and looking straight into her eyes.

            ‘I won’t regret it, and I won’t be apologising to you for it. You do things your way and I’ll do them mine.’

            To him, it was clear that the conversation was over, and he turned his back on her for a moment, before coming back with a small, shiny disk in his hand.

            She placed a finger on it gently, moving it this way and that, and gasped. ‘Where in the galaxy did you get that?’

            ‘I got it when we stopped to take in supplies on that planet in the Aldorus system . And we have more of them. A lot more of them.’

\----------------------------------------------

            As it always did when they connected themselves through the force, the world turned silent for a moment, and as she looked to her left, she could see him crouched beside her.

            ‘You’re in position?’ He asked quietly.

            She nodded back.

            ‘And it’s all clear?’

            Rey lifted her head up for one final check of the area and nodded again.

            He reached out to take her hand in his and gave it a small squeeze. ‘Then good luck.’

            _You too._ She mouthed back at him.

            She felt his hand disappear from her grip and forced herself to concentrate. She slowly breathed in and out, in and out, widening her senses to get a greater feel of the base in front of her. She wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long, but long enough to get inside without raising the alarms.

            Her first point of attack were the security cameras dotted around the outside of the building. There were two directly in front of her, and she held out her hand, focusing on the wires that connected them to the building. One by one she pulled them out, until the lights went dead, and they hung down limply on their brackets.

            Taking her chance, she dashed across the empty land that ran the perimeter of the compound and skidded behind a wall, disturbed dust flying up around her face. She focused on it and held it, floating, in the air. As it hovered, she placed one of the small, metallic disks on the wall, making sure it lit up before getting back to her feet and making her way towards a small side entrance. As she moved, she released the dust, using it to cover the marks she’d left on the ground.

            Behind the door she could feel two of the mercenaries, but before she could make her move, it slammed open. She had only a second to act as one of them made his way angrily through, and in her panic, she took her lightsaber and smashed the handle of it as hard as she could into his face.

            He went down. Hard.

            His friend inside called out to him and rushed over, his own weapon drawn, and it was just the opening she needed. Rey lit her lightsaber and swiped at his legs. The gash was deep enough that he also fell to the floor next to his partner, and when he was down, she quickly placed her hands to his temples and used her powers to knock him out completely.

            A quick sweep of the area told her that there was no one else in the immediate vicinity, and she took a moment just to re-centre herself. She’d moved too quickly, not taking the time to focus on where exactly in the room the guards were and their intentions. It was a mistake she was hoping not to repeat.

            She’d just been lucky that the second soldier had been dumb enough to face her instead of sounding the alarm.   

            But there was little time for her to think on it, and she made her way over to the entrance on the other side of the room. According to the map it led to what used to be an alleyway, a long, open space where she’d need to keep her guard up all the way.

            Rey opened the door and pressed herself against the wall on one side of the alley. Above her she could hear the occasional stomp of boots as the guards patrolled the top of the walls, but they were looking for intruders, never considering that someone may already be inside.

            She shuffled down the alley, every so often bending down and placing another of the small disks against the wall. She kept her senses alert every step of the way, hoping more than anything that no one would catch her. But when she’d almost made it to the other side, she felt the lifeform moving distinctly towards her.

            Her reaction was immediate, and her hand flew out into the air before her. She focused her mind on the soldier, honing in on its intentions and moulding them to her will. Its footsteps faltered, and she could feel it becoming less and less sure of itself. Slowly, it put both feet back on the ground, considering its actions before turning on the spot. It began to head back the way it had come, its stride becoming more confident with each step.

            It was only after Rey was certain that the creature had gone that she finally let her hold on its mind fall away. She slipped slightly down the wall, wiping away the sweat falling down her face and trying to relax her harried breathing.

            How did Ben find it so easy?

            She managed to gather herself quickly, aware of the guards still above her, and continued towards the centre of the base.

            Fortunately, the rest of her journey to the courtyard was uneventful. Yet this worried Rey more than if the path had been completely littered with mercenaries. Over the two weeks she’d been scouting, she’d seen hundreds of them going back and forth across the compound. And now, suddenly, they were gone.

            Even when she reached the very edge of the central courtyard, it was empty. The birds above her screeched, the light breeze rustled the scrub that had popped up in places, but she couldn’t hear a single person.

            Something was wrong.

            She tried to focus on the bond, to blow it wide open so she could warn Ben to stay away. But before she had the chance, she spotted his dark figure cutting across the other side of the courtyard.

            ‘We’ve spent a long time trying to find you both again.’

            The voice echoed through the space, and when Rey looked up, she saw a figure that hadn’t been there before stood on the dais at the top of the courtyard. It was dressed in armour from head to toe, but unlike the common soldiers Rey had seen so far, it was in perfect condition, the sun above reflecting off the polished blue surface.

            ‘You may as well come out. We’ve been following you since the moment you entered the compound.’

_We?_

            Rey looked over at Ben and saw him slowly nod at her. She stood from her position, as he did, and pulled her lightsaber into her hand, igniting it before she stepped out into the courtyard.

            ‘And you’re the commander here?’ Ben asked.

            ‘I am. Welcome.’

            It was all the information they needed. Ben twirled his lightsaber in his hand, and Rey lifted her own. He was getting ready to move.

            But then he stopped.

            Two shadowy figures appeared behind the commander. Rey recognised their style of dress immediately; it was the same as Ben had worn before he’d left the First Order.

            But even if she hadn’t noticed that detail, the waves of darkness radiating from them would have told her all she needed to know. It was almost suffocating just to be this close to them, and she could feel Ben in her mind, fighting with her to keep them at bay.

            ‘That’s them.’ He said quietly, ‘The Knights of Ren.’

            ‘I know.’

            Ben stepped behind her to whisper in her ear, but his eyes never left the figures.

            ‘If we want to get out of this alive, we’ll need to work together. Open your mind to me Rey.’

            ‘It is.’ She replied, but she already knew that she was lying.

            In trying to keep the Knights out, her instincts were screaming at her to close her mind to everything. He was forcing himself through the gaps to help her, and no matter how much she wanted to let him in, she didn’t know if she could.

            ‘No, it isn’t. Don’t be afraid, I’m here. I’ll help you.’ He stayed behind her, taking hold of her left hand in his.

            ‘And so, the traitor finally makes himself known.’

            ‘You’ve done well keeping yourself hidden for so long.’

            Their voices were hollow and grating, and she could feel the heat of Ben’s fury in her mind as the two Knights spoke, the grip on her hand tightening. But he was trying to hold it back, focusing as much as he could on her.

            ‘You can do it.’ He whispered.

            ‘The Supreme Leader took you in when you had nowhere to go.’ The Knights spoke together, as one voice. ‘He honoured you as his apprentice. He would be sorely disappointed to see you give everything up for this.’

            ‘Snoke twisted my mind.’ Ben bit out. ‘He used all of us to get what he wanted.’ His hand was crushing hers. ‘And the last thing he saw was Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber cutting his body in two. He. Is. Dead.’

            Their response was quiet.

            ‘For now.’

            As one, the Knights ignited their lightsabers. They leapt high into the air, landing only a few feet in front of them, and their crossed sabers flew down in an arc towards them.

            Rey’s instincts took over, self-preservation blowing their bond wide open in desperation, and now she could feel Ben in every part of her mind. Just as she could feel herself in every part of his.

            And as one, Rey and Ben responded in kind, holding their own weapons aloft to stop the oncoming attack, before they both kicked out their feet into their opponents’ chests.

            They stumbled backwards, and out of the corner of her eye she could see the small smirk on Ben’s face. He was enjoying the rush of a true fight, one between powerful force users, and the excitement flooded her own thoughts.

            But the Knights didn’t stay back for long, and as they attacked once more, they all finally broke apart, taking the battle in two different directions.

            The Knight fighting her was clearly well trained. His blows were precise and rained down on her with little chance for her to catch her breath between them. But with their bond open, she had access not only to Ben’s strength and his thoughts, but also a lifetime of training overseen by the two most powerful force users in the galaxy.

            With this knowledge somehow inside her head, her saber seemed to move with a life of its own. Before she could even consider her actions, she would be blocking a swipe or twisting her body to enact her own attacks. It was as though she had been training for years, not months.

            And she could tell that she was gaining the upper hand.

            With every cut of her lightsaber, he grew angrier, and it was this that made him weaker. His own movements were growing sluggish, and his actions less considered, and with one final push, he was thrown to the ground several feet away from her. She walked up to him, standing over his body. He was trying to get to his feet, but her powers were great, and she held him firmly trapped on the ground.

            ‘The two of you will never be safe.’ His voice was strained, and he forced the words out. ‘Duna Ren is coming for you both, she will kill you. And when she does, we will finally join our master in the force.’

            Rey raised her lightsaber above her head, poised to make the killing blow, but it wasn’t her mind controlling her actions. Her hands seemed desperate to kill, but once her mind had caught up with what was happening, it began fighting it, screaming at her not to move her body.

            She looked over at Ben, whose stance seemed to mirror her own. All except his face. He was focused completely on the Knight at his feet, pure hatred written across his features. Then she looked up at the commander, still standing motionless on the dais. It was as though time had frozen as she fought harder and harder against whatever was trying to control her actions.

            And from behind her, there was a sudden explosion.

            They needed to leave.

            The noise seemed to have distracted whatever was in her mind, and she was finally able to lower her saber, running towards Ben but keeping her hold on the Knight.

            ‘Come on! We have to go!’ She shouted. More explosions began, moving closer and closer, but he wasn’t moving.

            She couldn’t think of what else to do, and threw herself at him, hooking an arm around his waist and trying to drag him backwards. But he was too strong for her, and despite her best efforts he wasn’t moving anywhere.

            A sharp pain suddenly lanced through her leg, and she stumbled, only managing to stay upright because of her hands still on Ben. She looked down to see blood slowly blossoming out through the fabric of her trousers, and a quick glance to her side showed the cause. A mercenary, his blaster held out and pointed directly at her.

            But he didn’t shoot again. His entire body had gone still, except the hands that had moved to his throat, grasping it at wildly. She could hear the loud choking sounds echoing around the courtyard, but it wasn’t just him. She looked around and saw several other soldiers who’d appeared at the edges of the courtyard all clutching at their throats too.

            And it was with one resounding crack that they all suddenly fell silent. Their bodies slumped before falling to the ground completely, like marionettes having their strings cut.

            She saw Ben’s arm outstretched towards the first soldier, his hand clenched tightly in a fist. Then another explosion, this one at the edge of the courtyard and throwing rocks high up into the air. His hand flew to the direction of the rubble, holding it in place just as Rey had done earlier with the dust on the ground.

            But instead of letting it down as she had, it moved rapidly across the sky, until it was hovering ominously above the Knights.

            Ben pulled her closer to his side, forcing them both to step back several paces, before finally letting go of the rocks. They crashed down to the ground, and all Rey could do was close her eyes against the sight of the Knights being crushed by the weight. But she couldn’t stop the sight of the small river of blood escaping from under the rocks and slowly flowing down across the ground to where they stood.

            Gritting her teeth against the pain, Rey pulled herself up to her full height, moving her hands from his waist, up to his face.

            She pulled his face down so that he was finally looking at her.

            ‘We have to go.’ She whispered.

            There was a beat of silence. ‘Okay.’ He said quietly, before picking her up into his arms and turning away from the carnage.

            There were more explosions, this time coming from the South side where Ben had been. Chunks of rock and debris were thrown across them, and she raised her arms to protect Ben’s head from them. But she needn’t have done anything, as they were all stopped in the air above them, only dropping when it was safe to do so.

            And as she looked back through the clouds of dust and rubble, all Rey could see was the shiny blue armour of the Blue Suns commander making its way undamaged in the opposite direction.

\----------------------------------------------

            Ben held her close to his chest as he made his way quickly to the ship. They’d placed bombs all over the compound, but it wouldn’t be long before the survivors started making their way out of the rubble. He wanted them to be long gone before then.

            He lay her down gently on the bunk before making his way over to the cockpit, grasping tightly to his side with one hand.

            Throwing himself down into the pilot’s chair, he started the sequence for them to take off. He could still hear Rey’s groans of pain over the engines, but he tried to block them out, focusing instead on just getting them as far away from the system as he could.

            But his mind wouldn’t stop turning over the events in the compound. Where before he’d been certain about what needed to be done, now he was filled with questions.

            Why had the Knights joined forces with the mercenaries?

            What part did Duna Ren play in all this?

            Why had they been so easily killed?

            And why had half of the Blue Suns all disappeared, when their goal seemed to be to see him and Rey dead? Where were they?

            Hopefully he would have time to discover the answers to these questions, but for now he had to take care of Rey. He noticed how tight his grip on the controls had become, and released them slowly, flexing his fingers. He got up and walked over to Rey, picking up the med kit on the way and sitting beside her injured leg.

            He slowly peeled away the material of her blood-soaked leggings, and immediately saw a large laser burn making its way across the side of her thigh. It had caught her quite deeply, but a quick scan of the wound showed him that she would survive, just with a large scar on her leg. He heard a sharp intake of breath as he pulled at a place where the fabric had gotten stuck, but without medication there was little he could do to help her with the pain, other than by distracting her.

            ‘Stop moving.’

            ‘It hurts.’ She groaned.

            He took a deeper look inside the wound, his fingers pressing in deeply and he could see her fingers shaking at her sides as she held herself up on her elbows. He couldn’t see anything that would cause permanent damage and so he reached for the bacta, hoping that the soothing sensation of the gel would help her a little.

            ‘I haven’t set any real coordinates into the navicom.’ He said quietly, ‘I just told it to get us out of there. Any suggestions?’

            She groaned as he touched her again. ‘Maybe somewhere with an ocean.’

            ‘And lots of beaches?’

            ‘No. Beaches mean sand. I want rocks and forests and lakes, and no sand.’

            He chuckled slightly. Above him, he could hear her release a shaky breath.

            ‘Ben, I need to ask you something.’

            Noticing the serious expression on her face, he stopped the movement of his fingers on her thigh. ‘Anything.’

            ‘Back there, when that Knight was on the ground, were you…’ She trailed off, almost afraid of the answer, ‘When we were fighting, did you… were you controlling me or something?’

            He looked back down, scooping more of the bacta onto his fingers and rubbing across her wound. ‘A little, during the fight. And after… I knew you didn’t have the strength to do it. He would have killed you in a heartbeat if he’d had the chance; it was why they were there in the first place.’

            He could still feel her gaze burning into the back of his head. ‘You’re not a killer, Rey. And in that moment, I needed you to be.’

            There was silent, until he felt her fingers on his chin, lifting his head up so he’d be forced to meet her eyes.

            ‘Don’t do it again.’

            He was silent as he thought on her words, but eventually he nodded at her. He took hold of the hand still under his chin, puling it away and placing it in her lap, before twisting to fetch the bandages behind him.

            But now that the adrenaline was wearing off, he wasn’t prepared for the pain that shot through his side. Rey noticed immediately as his hand instinctively flew down to place pressure on it.

            ‘What is it? Move your hand, let me see.’ She pulled his hand away roughly from his side, but where there was a large gash in his clothing, there was no blood to indicate that there was a problem.

            Her hands tugged at him a few more times, before giving up and moving to pull at the collar of his coat. ‘Take this off.’

            He was reluctant, but Rey was making it very clear that she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. So instead, he slowly helped her to remove his layers of clothing, suppressing the groans that threatened to come out whenever he pulled at the injury.

            It took several minutes to carefully remove his many layers of protective clothing, but eventually they did, and he heard Rey’s gasp as she finally saw what had happened.

            He felt her fingers dancing carefully across the skin around the wound.

            ‘You should have said something.’ She was angry with him.

            He looked down to his right side, where he saw the large burn cut across his skin. Luckily, the saber had cauterised the wound so he’d barely lost any blood. There was little that could be done with such an injury now, other than to clean it and make sure it didn’t get infected.

            He held her leg still so that it wouldn’t be jostled as she leant over to grab the bacta and bandages. Her fingers were light and delicate on him, and they gave him something to focus on as she quickly got to work.

            Looking down at her, he could see the concentration on her face as she cleaned and dressed his side. Her own injuries had been completely forgotten as she focused entirely on taking care of him, and he reminded himself that he still needed to bandage her leg when she’d done with him.

            But there was more than that. There was a bruise forming on her temple, and several smaller scrapes decorated her face. Even her hands looked raw, and he could see red lines where she’d been gripping the lightsaber too hard.

            She was a fighter; they both were. And they’d once again used their skills to keep each other safe.

            She’d taken his knowledge, and used his techniques and learnings, and even his control over her at times, to hold her own in a fight that she should never have had a chance in. And in turn, she’d kept him calm and grounded, her own light flowing through him and giving him a focus he’d never experienced before.

            The fight was far from over, but neither of them were alone anymore. They had each other, and the thought of it hit him with force.

            'Hey.’ He said quietly. She looked up.

            Leaning down, he pressed his lips lightly against hers. She was still for too many heartbeats, before he finally felt her pressing back. She began to move against him, pushing both her mouth and body closer to him. Her hands, still covered in bacta, left his side and wrapped themselves around his neck, and he responded by pressing his against the sides of her face.

            He felt her tongue press tentatively against his lips, but he wasn’t planning to let her in. Instead, he moved his mouth away from hers, pressing light kisses across her cheeks and up her jawline. Her small gasps were the most wonderful sounds, and he wondered what noises he could wring from her if he moved his kisses down to her neck.

            But in moving, Ben twisted his side, tugging the wound painfully. He pulled away from her, instinctively curling in on himself, and it took a few seconds for him to get his breath back. Rey pulled her hands away from his neck, trailing the blue gel messily across it.

            He looked up. ‘You’ve got bacta all over you.’ She laughed breathlessly.

            He smiled back at her.

            ‘I really don’t care.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are Awesome!   
> Thank you!


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